Friday, May 25th and Saturday, May 26th 2012

Jim Foley, John Mulligan, Matt Lindman
and Vlad Tenenbaum perform "Story Syles"

Ahhhh…   Memorial Day Weekend…  The unofficial kickoff to summer!  But more importantly, a time to remember family, friends, and loved ones who are no longer with us.  What better way to honor their memory and their lives than by living one’s life to the fullest and creating memories with new friends?  Those in the Firehouse Theatre’s audience were primed and ready to do just that!

Starting things off on Friday with a game called “Story Styles” the Bit Players  tell the same story from the audience suggestion “Nicole and her stick in Oklahoma”  but in their own style as directed by Vlad Tenenbaum.  Matt Lindman added his variations with 1980’s RENT flair, while John Mulligan brought it back a century into Charlotte Bronte’s world of Jane Eyre.  Jim Foley brought some fire and brimstone to the story with his Bible musings.  Neal Leaheey may have summarized the characters in their Obituaries, but as Frank Fusaro noted by a Text Message, there is no BRB when you are dead. OMG!

The entire cast performed a “Doo Wop” about a lint brush…  Sounds a little mundane?  Well, check out the video and see just how entertaining a lint brush can be.  (Click here to view the video --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CogIRkGV_qM  ) The Master at selling worthless items, Billy Mays, had nothing on these guys… (RIP Billy)

Neal and Jim manned the bar in “Bartender” as our patrons John, Vlad, Matt, and Frank got a chance to unload their troubles to them.  

John Mulligan laments
about Road Rage

Mat Lindman sings about his bad
experience with remodelling

John, having Road Rage, turned from the mild mannered Bruce Banner into the hulk on the roadways, as he sang his woes.  Vlad, who was conned by a leprechaun who took all of his money, was again conned by Bartender Jim who offered to help Vlad only if Vlad gave up his children to him.  

Matt, trying his best to have his house remodeled, probably should have consulted “Angie’s List” first before hiring his contractor, Erik who had tile dysfunction.  (Ahhh, yes… give the audience what they themselves don’t know they want to see.  Erik's Tile Dysfuntion, indeed!) 

Frank Fusaro slept with The Boss?

Vlad Tenenbaum and
John Mulligan in "LCD"

And lastly, Frank turned the tables on the audience too, after given “sleeping with the boss” as a suggestion, Frank crooned about a life of decadence and despair after having slept with The BOSS, Bruce Springstein.  (Did you see that one coming?) 

In the second set, “LCD” (Location, Career, Death or Blind Telephone) amused the audience especially when John and Vlad began miming a duel with their prosthetic limbs (ohhh yes, admit it, you laughed!)

Frank Fusaro and Jim Foley in "Tap The Audience"

The Bit Players said farewell to their Britt friend, Josh Picton who will be returning to London in the coming week.  Josh has been a huge supporter of the Bit Players over the past few months.  And as a token of friendship, The Bits just had to torture him (or was it Josh torturing then?) by inviting him and his friend Will up onto the stage in a rousing game of “Tap The Audience”. Josh and Will had a chance to add their own words to the improv scene performed by Frank and Jim.  We certainly wish Josh well on his journey home.

Dylan Eberle, Tim Bric and
Matt Lindman in "Doo Run" Song

On Saturday, several more audience members got a little treat.  Tony, a Computer Science wiz was privy to a “Doo Run” song sung to him by Matt, Dylan Eberle, and Tim Bric.

Vlad, Matt, and Dyan
perform "Epic Poem"

Another audience member Emily, got to live out a childhood dream as she got a taste of what it would have been like to be a pediatrician, (well, at least as the Bit Players saw it) in an “Epic Poem” composed just for her.

“Radio Show” as performed by the entire cast and narrated by Dlyan was an audience favorite of the night.  In this episode of “Cave Explorer” we witnessed Duke Dangerous and his sweetheart, Lucy, battle their arch nemesis Richard Ruthless.  Just when we thought Dangerous and Lucy were safe from their ordeal, Vladestovsky, The Mole King, enters.  Dangerous ties the hapless Lucy to a boot and hurls her down the mineshaft to thwart the Mole King.  But just then, Ruthless who had only appeared dead reawakened and removes his mask to reveal that he too was a Mole Person and had been using Dangerous and Lucy to defeat the Mole King, so that he could take the thrown.  Stay tuned to our next episode to see if Ruthless prevails and becomes the new Mole King, or if good will triumph once again.

The Bit Players "Serenade" two audience members
celebrating their Anniversary

In the second set of Saturday night’s performance, Rudolph and Quan Escarne, from Maryland, celebrating their 4^th anniversary, received a surprise “Serenade” from the Bit Players.  The Bits had fun with the Escarne’s, as Quan even got a tip of the hat from Dylan who said that Michelle Obama had nothing on Quan’s guns!

Dylan Eberle, Matt Lindman, and Tim Bric in "Puppets"
puppeteered by two audience members

Not to leave anyone out,  Lindsey celebrating her 30^th birthday and her friend, Josh got a chance to come up on stage with the Bits in a game called “Puppets”.  Josh and Lindsey really pushed the Bits to their limits, ending the scene in some sort of medical operation gone wrong. (It looked a bit more like a pig pile, than an operation).

Don’t forget!   Upcoming Auditions and Classes!

Auditions will be held: Saturday, June 16 from 10AM - 1PM. Please be on time. Firehouse Theater, 4 Equality Park Place, Newport, RI 02840

Who are we looking for?
- Strong performers who know how to have fun onstage and support fellow performers.
- Experience is NOT a requirement, we have gotten some of our best improvisers from open auditions.
- People who can think quick on their feet and be in the moment.
- We are NOT looking for comedians, people who try to be funny in improv often aren't.
- Singers, musicians, dancers, mimes, jugglers, gymnasts and any other talents are all welcome but not required.

Our performers get paid per show and the schedule is flexible. No need to prepare anything, this is an improv audition after all, just come ready to play some games and have some fun.

The Bit Players will be offering Classes:  Classes will run every Tuesday at 7PM - 9PM for 6 weeks starting on June 26, 2012.They will be held at the home of The Bit Players, Firehouse Theater, 4 Equality Park Place, Newport, RI 02840.  The cost of these classes is $150 per person.
For more info about either the Auditions or Classes call the theater at (401) 849-3473

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations.   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And as always, it is BYOB!

NEW ANNOUNCEMENT! Bit Players AUDITIONS and CLASSES!!!

Improv Auditions (Newport, RI)

"RI's Best Comedy Troupe", The Bit Players are having auditions!

The NEW Bit Players are a fast paced and energized group of improvisation master-minds. Their high energy LIVE shows, full of hysterical characters, hilarious games, and side-splitting musical numbers will leave you wanting more every time. Every show is full of audience interaction.

Our already hilarious family is looking to grow even bigger. With more in-house performances being booked in the summer and more external gigs we need to bring in some talented improvisers. We sell out just about every weekend and our audience demands a hilarious show every time which we are happy to give to them.

Who are we looking for?
- Strong performers who know how to have fun onstage and support fellow performers.
- Experience is NOT a requirement,we have gotten some of our best improvisers from open auditions.
- People who can think quick on their feet and be in the moment.
- We are NOT looking for comedians, people who try to be funny in improv often aren't.
- Singers, musicians, dancers, mimes, jugglers, gymnists and any other talents are all welcome but not required.

Our performers get paid per show and the schedule is flexible. No need to prepare anything, this is an improv audition after all, just come ready to play some games and have some fun.

Auditions will be held: Saturday, June 16 from 10AM - 1PM. Please be on time. Firehouse Theater, 4 Equality Park Place, Newport, RI 02840

OR you think you might have what it takes after a few lessons?

                                            (KEEP READING ...)

Improvisation Classes for ALL Levels (Newport, RI)

Want to have some fun? Want to learn how to improvise? Want to be a better public speaker? Want to experience the rush of being on stage with no idea what's about to happen and being completely confortable with that? Then these calsses are for you!!

"RI's Best Comedy Troupe", The Bit Players are holding open classes for all skill levels to come learn the basics of improvisation. Learn the fundamentals of improvisation for the non-professional actor. This class is also good for the actor with little to no experience in improv. Great for professionals who are looking to enhance their presentation and/or public speaking skills as well. Build self-confidence, develop your creativity, experiment, meet new people and have fun. No audition required.

The classes will be taught by Frank Fusaro, an improv performer, student and teacher for over nine years. Frank has trained at the Upright's Citizens Brigade, Second City, and Improv Boston just to name a few. He is also a co-founder of the RI long-form group Unexpected Company. Frank has been the Artistic Director of The Bit Players for the past three years.

Classes will run every Tuesday at 7PM - 9PM for 6 weeks starting on June 26, 2012.
They will be held at the home of The Bit Players, Firehouse Theater, 4 Equality Park Place, Newport, RI 02840.

The cost of these classes is $150 per person.  For more info call the theater at (401) 849-3473.

If you or someone you know wishes to participate in these classes just make sure you/they are present on Tuesday, June 26 at 7PM.

Keep Laughing.

Friday, May 18th and Saturday, May 19th 2012

Musician, Chuck Malone

accompanies the Bit Players

The Bit Players began the weekend of musical accompaniment by master musician and keyboardist, Chuck Malone, with a bit called “Remote Control”.  In this bit, the players become the channels of Frank Fusaro’s television.  At any time, when bored, Frank can change the channel, but on Frank’s TV, the channels (Kevin Killavey, John Mulligan, Neal Leaheey, Stephanie Conrad, and Vlad Tenenbaum continue to tell the same story of Nantucket, voted best island by the National Geographic Channel.

Sue, an audience member,  hailing from Shrewsbury, MA, celebrating her 60^th birthday along with her gaggle of girls from Syracuse, NY, was regaled by the Bits in “Hoe Down” style.

Vlad Tenenbaum in "Olympics"

Vlad captivated the audience with a new bit called “Olympics”.  In Vlad’s version of the Olympics, he took the suggestion of washing dishes and made it an Olympic event. Vlad also requested a pose from an audience member which he incorporated into his mime piece.  To make it even more mind-blowing Vlad introduced four distinct personalities in the piece to the delight of the audience.  Watch the video here: - >
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rken7qrIIuU

John Mulligan, Kevin Killavey,
and Stephanie Conrad in "Ding" 

In “Ding”  our players provide a scene where our host, Frank can stop the scene at any time by buzzing them. The players must then provide new dialog/actions until Frank is satisfied with the new offer and “dings” them to continue the scene.  In the scene, we see our players, John and Kevin in a lighthouse where John is attempting to teach Kevin the ropes of being a lighthouse worker. Kevin, failing a urine test, can not quite grasp the concept of John’s directions of how to pee in the wind.  John instructions finally take hold in Kevin’s drug doped mind as John teaches Kevin the difference between windward and “peeward”.  As they look out into the waters, Kevin and John spy a small boy (played by Stephanie) floating helplessly off the coast on a graham cracker.  Kevin begins throwing small marshmallows and chocolate at the boy, guiding the boy to shore under the hot, bright light of the lighthouse beam.  The boy screams in frustration that the two lighthouse workers are not helping him, and Kevin asks the boy to throw back the chocolate and marshmallows because he and John have the munchies.

The Bit Players "Serenade"
26 year old Jenna

Twenty-six year old, Birthday Girl, Jenna is called up to the stage for a “Serenade”…  The Bit Players learn that Jenna works at the Uniform Shop on base and studied Humanities at UMASS, Dartmouth, and to the dismay of some of the players as well as some of the male members of the audience, is dating a sailor (Brian). Jenna’s life is celebrated in true Bit Players style.

Bit Players sing a "Blues Song"

Ending the Friday night cooky-ness, two additional Bit Players, Jim Foley and Matt Lindman, spending their Friday night in the audience of the Firehouse Theatre, were called to the stage to perform “Blues Song” with the ensemble cast.

Frank Fusaro, Anna Smith, and
Dylan Eberle in "Good Cop/Bad Cop"

On Saturday, performing to another packed house, the Bit Players’ wacky antics were a fitting way to continue the celebration of Preakness Day… Aptly enough, the horse “I’ll Have Another” made it a double, winning the 1^st and 2^nd legs of the Triple Crown…  and Firehouse Theatre’s BYOB crowd may have had another, (and another) during the course of the entertaining evening.  Also fitting, and about the size of the world’s best jockies, Anna Smith rounded out the Bit Players cast for Saturday night’s show.  In “Good Cop/Bad Cop”  Anna had to confess to detectives, Frank and Dylan Eberle, to her crime of killing Zoro, with nail polish, in a Wal-Mart.

In “Irish Drinking Song” Dylan, Frank, Jim, and Tim Bric had fun with audience members Justin (Lawyer) and Sonya Cinnamon (Marketing).  A good sport, Sonya endured an entire evening of the reference to her name as being similar to that of a Porn Star.

Dylan Eberle, Anna Smith and Vlad Tenenbaum
in "Visual Interpreter"

In the second set, Vlad was the “Visual Interpreter” as Anna interviewed Dylan (aka Jean Claud Van Der Castle) as the expert in Quantum Physics.  Mr. Van Der Castle described the inner workings of the Hadron Collider at CERN.  To everyone’s amazement, this seemingly high tech device is powered by small babies running on a treadmill, urged on by India Jones whipping them and throwing steaks at the babies.  But the babies eat the steaks and grow too big, resulting in the atoms colliding and life beginning again.  The outer reaches of space was also described by Mr. Van Der Castle as  being similar to eggs in a space god’s womb, where after birth the tiny galaxies could catch cold and have a fever.  Our interviewer, Anna, wanted to know about Mr. Van Der Castle’s other interests of his clothing line, “The String Theory Collection” because as Mr. Van Der Castle put it, scientists can still be sexy wearing their lab coats made of cheetah skins.

The Bit Players "Serenade"
Bachellorette, Lisa

Bachelorette,  (and Physical Therapist) Lisa celebrating her upcoming marriage on June 16^th  to Ben (The Computer Guy) with her all-girl entourage, was “Serenaded”  in true Bit Players fashion.  Watch the video (with another Sonya reference) here ->:
 http://youtu.be/f-C5vHEMPvM

Rounding out the night with “Blues Song” as an ode to the gentleman in the audience who questionably provided the suggestion that he was blue about “still being married”, the audience was not only delighted by the marriage quips and jibes sung by the players, they joined in the chorus of “ I’ve got the low down dirty, still married Blues…”

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations   

     401-849-FIRE (3473) 

And as always, it is BYOB!

Friday, May 11th and Saturday, May 12th 2012

With Frank Fusaro back at the helm as artistic director of the Bit Players, and Anna Smith’s feet firmly planted back in the United States (at least for a while), the weekend crowd once again had their minds blown by two hilarious shows.

Twenty-four  year old Birthday Girl,  Sarah and her boyfriend, Brandon, were on the receiving end of a “Doo Run Song”. To Sarah and Brandon’s delight, The Bit Players sang of Sarah’s exploits as an NBC sports promoter, whose Navy boyfriend reaped the rewards of their shared country line dancing activities.

“Art Class” performed by Vlad Tenenbaum had everyone watching in wonderment as Vlad told his story in “Vlad Style” miming his way through a cross country train ride with his pet turtle, paying his fare with coins stashed in his piggy bank.  To amuse themselves on the long trek, Vlad and his pet turtle played basketball, which Vlad has naturally packed in his luggage.  While enroute to his destination, Vlad spied Bambi lurking in the shadows.  Deftly unpacking his rifle (also in his suitcase), Vlad took aim at the hapless Bambi.  But to everyone’s chagrin, Vlad missed.  Thankfully Vlad is not as good a hunter as he is a mime.  But this makes one wonder …  Does Vlad suffer from watching reruns of “Let’s Make A Deal” on GSN?  Really?  What else does he pack in his suitcase?

A second Sarah in the audience, celebrating her upcoming nuptials with her friends, was “Serenaded” by the Bit Player.  Bride-to-be, Sarah, a self-proclaimed “Cat-Whisperer” reveled under the spotlights as the Bits crooned of the pro’s and con’s of Match.Com relationships, and Sarah’s fiancé, Chris’ prowess as a network engineer.

In the second set, Anna and Matt Lindman took on “Alphabetical Shakespeare” as the audience was taken on a journey into Shakespeare’s world of love and death as we saw Anna’s penchant for the macabre, enticing her brother, Matt to commit the murder of Neal Leaheey with poisonous herbs.

After whetting her whistle, Anna was on a role with the next bit, a “Mini- Musical” entitled “Gang-Green”.  Watch as Anna schools everyone, including Neal and rival gang members, Tim Bric and Matt with her Gang Green Rap.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hi5Jl1uaE20

On Saturday, May 12^th, Frank and company started off the night with “Slideshow” and with them we travelled to the far off reaches of a country foreign to us all, South Dakota.  We saw statues of the South Dakota gods who celebrated the acceptance of gay marriage.  Frank soon learned that upon landing at the airport, you are provided with your own little guy who clings to your ankles and a personal  gay guide follow you around.  The gay guide showed Frank the unique topological features of this country and the ability look out onto the southern border of South Dakota (which blew Frank’s mind… and may have cause  and embolism and permanent damage).  Frank soon became enamored with the culture after seeing so many of the statues of the gay figures dotting the landscape.  Frank not only became accepting of the culture of  this foreign land, he soon took part in activities like the Love Tango, and ended up bringing his gay guide, and the little clinging man home to Newport with him to live.

Audience member Grafton, celebrating his birthday, was honored with a “Doo Ron Song” by Matt, Kevin Killavey, and Dylan Eberle.  Kevin found it particularly amusing and ironic with the name Grafton, that he was a math teacher.  Grafton was a good sport with the Bit Players rendition of his life in this song, where we were taken on a sordid journey of inappropriate behavior with a female student that landed Grafton in jail.  In this offensive tale, Grafton did not sit idly behind the bars of his jail cell.  On, no! The industrious Grafton was found to be making “hootch” to provide to his fellow inmates, before escaping from his confines, running amuck out in society.

In “Radio Show” our narrator Dylan chronicled episode 18 of  “Jane, The Spicy Nurse”, and our audience was taken to the mean streets of Miami, where we meet our nurse, Jane who provided care for the stricken and downtrodden. Jane came upon Roger who was attempting to jump from a bridge.  Jane used her “spicy talents” to persuade Roger down from the bridge, but to no avail.  Officer Curmudgeon  arrives  on the scene to offer assistance.  Soon there was an altercation between Officer Curmudgeon and Nurse Jane, and in a twist of fate, Roger comes to Jane’s aid and kills our hapless officer.  We learn that Roger has been set up by the dastardly Jane.  Roger is framed for the murder that Jane has pre-scripted to kill Officer Curmudgeon. What will happen next to our victim, Roger?  Find out in our next installment, episode 18, “Tacos at Midnight”

T-Mobile salesman, Joe was treated to an  ”Irish Drinking Song” watch the video to witness the song about the life of Joe and his cell phone sales.  Click the link here à:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnGz_f6EYug

In the second set Amanda and her Bachelorette party were “Serenaded” by the Bit Players.  After having met in a Jeep Club (who knew such things existed?) our bride-to-be, Amanda was finally tying the knot with boyfriend, Donnie (the firefighter) after dating for seven years.  This looked to be no ordinary wedding as we learned that Amanda worked in an ammunitions shop.  With all of this fodder, the Bit Players had fun with this serenade paying homage to “shot gun weddings”, sliding down fire poles,  and the polishing of Donnie’s gun.

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations   

     401-849-FIRE (3473) 

And as always, it is BYOB!

Friday, May 4th 2012

Starting off May with a bang, the Bit Players entertained the crowds with a high energy, jam-packed night of hilarity.  Many in the audience got to experience firsthand what it’s like to actually take part in an improv show. 

Mike, a retired Naval Veteran who worked in construction during his years of service, got a taste of reliving his naval career… (well, the Bit Player version of it, anyway) Mike’s character as portrayed through the eyes of Dylan Eberle, Matt Lindman, and Ryan Hartigan, even got to make love to a whale in a “Doo Run Song”.  And then SueLi, an audience member in the back row, got to experience what it was like to go Sky Diving in an “Irish Drinking Song” performed by Neal Leaheey, Ryan, and Dylan, all about her.



I don’t think anyone in the audience that night will ever forget the amazing Bartender scene with patron, Matt having the problem of not being able to stop break dancing as he literally flew through the air in one flying arabesque leap into Dylan’s waiting arms across the stage.  Vlad Tenenbaum, the sympathetic bartender not only offered his compassion to Matt's plight, he also shared an obsessive miming interchange,  and then, Vlad “saved” Matt in a beautiful duet of movement, that was remarkable to watch.



The entire Bit Players Cast (Vlad Tenenbaum, Ryan Hartigan, Dylan Eberle, Neal Leaheey,
Stephanie Conrad, and Matt Lindman) in "Blind Freeze"



“Blind Freeze” had to be the most bizarre bit of the night with all of the Players (Vlad, Ryan, Dylan, Matt, Neal, and Stephanie Conrad) with the common thread of the “Most Awkwardly Conjoined Twins” as the common thread running throughout.

Connie and her five-sister ensemble were pleasantly surprised as the Bit Players involved them in a “Serenade”, calling Connie to the stage.  Watch the video now on our YouTube Channel.  - > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dUzN0FYwOc

Griffin, another member of our audience was spotlighted in “Epic Poem” style, by Neal, Dylan, and Ryan, where Griffin got to live out a childhood dream of one day being a General.  Not only did he live out his dream, he conquered his nemesis! Watch the video to see what happened! - > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCszbf9Qp2g

In “MoonDoggy” Ryan interviewed our expert (played by Dylan, Matt, and Neal) on the topic of Nuclear Power.  Our expert, Dr. Lassie may not have been someone that you may want to entrust with something as powerful as Nuclear Power.  Not only did Dr. Lassie get belligerent with the interviewer, he may have just extinguished any hope of life on Mars!  Watch the video to see if he succeeded in detonating our closest neighboring planet.
 - > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1e_Ql5ueTuA

The entire Bit Players cast ( Vlad Tenenbaum, Ryan Hartigan, Dylan Eberle, Neal Leaheey,
Stephanie Conrad, and Matt Lindman) in "Mini-Musical" - entitled: Purple Spring

Ending the night’s crazy antics, the entire cast performed a Mini-Musical entitled “Purple Spring” where we saw the heartwarming tale of an endangered species of flower (Neal) who is protected by Matt from being exterminated by the evil, Urban Developers(Dylan and Ryan). The flower himself calls upon the EPA Vlad for protection, but is thwarted by the Developers who stop the rain brought by the EPA.  It is then that Matt vows to give his own life (or at least sweat) to save this flower.  And not only is the flower saved and multiplies, the Evil Developers have a change of heart and swear their allegiance to the protection of this endangered flower.

Other news…  As we’ve told you, the Bit Players are up for Motif Magazine’s Best Comedy Troupe Award.  Please support us and go to our link www.votebitplayers.com and vote for the Bit Players as Best Comedy Troupe!

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations   

     401-849-FIRE (3473) 

And as always, it is BYOB!