Wednesday, August 29th 2012 (Last Days of Summer...)

Summer is like the ultimate one-night stand; Hot as hell, totally thrilling, and gone before you know it!  And so it is with the Bit Player's Wednesday night performances at the Firehouse Theater .  Many who witnessed some of these experimental shows were privy to seeing the Bit Players try out new bits, rotate players into roles they may not have previously attempted, and reinvent old bits, turning them into something new and different.  And now with summer ending, the Bit Players will go back to their regularly scheduled performances on Friday and Saturday evenings.  But that doesn’t mean that they won’t surprise their fans with special event performances… Oh, No… They have plenty up their collective sleeves in the coming months… So stay tuned!  Perhaps your one-night stand could develop in a meaningful and long-term relationship with The Bit Players.  Who knows?

With just about all the players available for this last Wednesday night performance, the players that were cast in the show were literally selected out of a hat.  The lucky Bits performing for you were Vlad Tenenbaum, Frank Fusaro, Dylan Eberle, Stephanie Conrad, and Jim Foley,  and hosted by Matt Lindman.

The Bit Players perform "Word At A Time Story"

The seldom played bit, “One Word Story” was dusted off and added to the set list.  In this bit, the entire cast must tell a cohesive story, ONE – WORD – AT – A – TIME.  In the story about Rick and his motorcycle, we learned that Rick had enemies at the drycleaners.  Rick plotted his revenge on his enemies by running them down with his cool motorcycle.

 

 

Stephanie, Dylan, and Jim in "Doo Run" Song

Two member of the audience, Nicky and Sarah were selected to be the objects of a “Doo Run” song, sung in a style popularized by the Crystals in the early 60’s.  Sarah described her friend Nicky as picky and difficult, and Nicky retorted, describing her friend, Sarah as random and sarcastic.  With friendships like that… who needs enemies, huh?  Armed with these tantalizing tidbits about the two, Dylan, Jim, and Stephanie composed a song just for them.

Dylan, Jim and Vlad perform "Late To Work"

In “Late To Work” it was Dylan who was the ever-tardy employee, confronted by his boss Jim inquiring of Dylan's latest excuse for being delayed.  But it was co-worker (and mime genius) Vlad who came to Dylan’s rescue with a “plausible” excuse to reveal to his boss.  In this scene, Vlad must mime the suggestions provided by the audience to Dylan.  The suggestions represented in the story were:  Dylan awoke to find he had no electricity.  Dylan then caught fireflies and used them to illuminate his way.  Dylan went downstairs to find everything in his refrigerator had spoiled because of the lack of electricity, so he ate the closest thing available to him, kitty litter.  Dylan attempted to drive to work but there was a moose crossing his path.  Dylan did what any respectable sci-fi geek would do in this situation, he shot the moose with a laser gun, and them flagged down a pedi-cab and rode to work.

The Bit Players in "Doo Wop"

Jim, Matt, Frank, and Dylan (and accompanied by the entire cast) were on tap for “Doo Wop”.  In this improvised song style that gained popularity in the late 50’s, the audience supply the topic about which the players compose a song.  On this Wednesday night, the crowd wanted to hear a song about a skateboard.  Each player then, professed their love for this objet d’amour until in Frank’s verse, things went horrible wrong, as Frank's obese son snapped his skateboard in half.  Dylan set things to right as he replaced the skateboard with his Step-dad’s car as a means of transportation.

Dylan and Frank as "Sportcasters"
 with Vlad and Matt as athletes in the  Grooming Olympics

More bizarre-ness ensued with “Sportcasters” in the Grooming Olympics.  In this bit, sportcasters, Chet and Chip (Dylan and Frank) announce this sporting event.  The athletes in the event, Matt (aka Tony Two-Toes) and Vlad (aka Vladimir Vostok) took to the stage to perform in this grueling, grooming game.  In this scene we witnessed the two athletes and their shenanigans throughout the competition.  Tony attempted to shave Vladimir’s back, but in doing so caught crabs (enter Jim).  Then it was all Vladimir who beat down Tony and shaved him with a straight razor, top to bottom, even giving Tony a post-mortem Brazilian wax.  Ironically, since the event was graded by the best groomed, it was the deceased, Tony who won out.  This event was appropriately sponsored by Sweeney Todd Razors.  Check out the video from this hilarious bit -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1pL8YEqoJY&feature=youtu.be

Frank and Jim with audience members, Jeff and Pete
in "Tap the Audience"

Two lucky members of the audience (Jeff and Pete) got a chance to improvise alongside the Bit Players on the stage in “Tap the Audience”.  In this bit the players, Jim and Frank begin a scene with a suggestion from the audience.  The audience, who obviously do NOT know Frank or Jim at ALL, provided them with an occupation of “Angels”.  When Frank and Jim ran out of things to say, they “tapped” Jeff and Pete, to provide them with more dialog.  We learned not only should their never be frowning angels, angels cannot intervene in the lives of people, even those people who may be attempting to jump off a bridge.  In that case the angel may warn the person after he has jumped to “watch out!”  There is one exception to the rules of intervention however.  An angel may intervene if the person is turning themselves into the Devil.  The way to tell when a person is the Devil, is that they will have no respect for their elders (even God).  One last piece of useful information provided by the angels is that squirrels are imps of the devil, who are plotting their escape from this world.  So, Devil, Beware!

Although the summer’s Wednesday night performances have ended, Friday and Saturday nights will always be Bit Player shows at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  

 If you are celebrating an event with your family or friends, and want them to be recognized in a unique way, consider commemorating the occasion with The Bit Players.  As with the case with those present tonight, it will be a night, for them and you, to remember! And it is always BYOB!

Saturday, August 25th 2012 (The Bachelorette-Fest)

Walks so proper, talks with such class

But behind closed do’s she a nasty girl (yup)

Behind closed do’s she a nasty girl

A lady in the street but a freak in the bed

A lady in the street but a freak in the bed {Ludacris}

Compared to the civility of Friday… Well… the “ladies” in da house and their conduct on Saturday night would have made their momma’s cry and Ludacris blush.  Whew-eee!!  The Bit Players could hardly get a word in edgewise with the three Bachelorettes and their boisterous entourages.  At the Firehouse we try to make everyone a special part of the show, and tonight was no exception.  We especially want to recognize our friends with the Jack Wills Group, who have supported The Bit Players all summer.  We bid our Britt friends a fond farewell as they leave us to go on to bigger and better things across the pond.

Clayon, Dylan, Frank, and Jim perform "Irish Drinking Song"
in honor of Bachelorette #1, Alison

The first of the bachelorettes to be recognized was Alison, a Project Coordinator for a Graphics design company.  Alison is set to be married on September 8^th to her high school sweetheart, Nick, a printer of utility belts.  The Bit Players performed an “Irish Drinking Song” in their honor, and possibly what to expect (??) on their special day.  Jim Foley provided the prose that their wedding cake had melted (ala McCarthur Park style) and turned to water, Clayon McFarlane added that the skies had gone gray (No, NOT as in 50 Shades of – Don’t think Alison needs any encouragement along THOSE lines).  Frank Fusaro finished the couplet with his verse “Look on the bright side… at least she wasn’t late [as in EPT]…

The Bit Players accompanied by Devon Mello & Chase Ceglie
perform "Doo Wop" song about a sewing machine

Another musical number was soon to follow with a 50’s style “Doo Wop” song about a sewing machine.  Jim, Clayon, and Frank were joined by Dylan Eberle in this number.  Jim not only provided an amazing quip about his … “sewing machine was a winner”, and even though he was performing this song, it was his sewing machine “that said Singer”.  Jim also sang his lament about the sewing machine in high falsetto after Frank chided his girlfriend, wishing he was shot after she had allowed the thread in the sewing machine to be tangled up in knots.  Dylan finished the piece about his sewing machine that had gone away, and that he would miss it every day. Although it was a real tear jerker, as least he still had “Rosalita, his migrant sweatshop worker!”

Jim, Dylan, and Frank in "Epic Poem"
for Bachelorette #2, Jenny

In the second set of the night, Jenny, bachelorette #2, was celebrated in the way of an “Epic Poem”  Jenny we learned, was a teacher who is due to be wed to her beau Chris, an online marketing guru.  Jenny disclosed that when Chris proposed, he had been hiding in a closet, and then jumped out and gave Jenny her ring in bed.  Jenny admitted that her secret desire as a young girl was to actually be a journalist.  And so, the Bit Players (namely – Jim, Dylan, and Frank) gave Jenny her dream in an epic story entitled “The Day that Jenny Broke the News!”  In this epic tale, Jenny worked for the NY Times, and eventually becomes Editor-in-Chief of the paper after she had a brief “encounter” with a local politician who helped her achieve success.

Clayon, Frank, and Dylan as eligible bachelors
with Jim as the bachelorette, in "The Dating Game"
hosted by John

“The Dating Game” was next in the lineup.  Our three Bit Player bachelors, played by Dylan, Frank, and Clayon were the selections available for our lovely bachelorette played by Jim.  Joining in this fray was John Mulligan as the host of this version of the hit TV game show.  In this version however, the panel of bachelors have a peculiarity supplied by the audience.  In Dylan’s case, he was reliving the signing of the Declaration of Independence.  Frank was stuck in the movie, “The Mighty Ducks”, and Clayon thought he was Mike Tyson.  As John introduced Jim to his eligible bachelors, he joked that on “this show you win nothing (0); what tennis players call Love”…  After the initial banter, Jim asked a series of questions to deduce each of the panel’s idiosyncrasies.  Jim eliminated Dylan and Frank guessing their oddities, and finally chose love with Mike Tyson!  May their love last forever!

The Bit Players perform a "Serenade"
for Bachelorette #3, Susan

The third and final Bachelorette, Susan, hailing from Waltham, MA, was brought to the stage to be “Serenaded” by the Bit Players. Susan, an Order Fulfillment Supervisor (Yes, Frank… There IS such a thing) is set to wed (on September 29^th) her fiancé, Coleman, a Product Manager/Tester for non-destructive testing material (A what??? …Oh, don’t ask!  We still don’t know!) The Bits improvised a song in honor of their upcoming nuptials, sung to the tune of the hit song “My Girl”.

The Bit Players in "Blues Song"

The night of iniquity and immorality concluded with a “Blues Song”. The Jack Wills group was recognized and the group provided the bittersweet inspiration for the final song of the night.  The Bit Players sang; “The Bit Player Blues”. In the song, Jim acknowledged that unlike the bachelorettes in the audience, the Jack Wills group would not be going back to Frank’s place.  John conceded that although the audience may be pissed, the Bit Players were not narcissists, however they WERE the best looking people in town. Vlad admitted that he couldn’t rhyme, BUTT he could wiggle.  Clayon acknowledged the elephant in the room in the fact that he was the only black man in the group, and he could “Take it to the head”(Yeah, this unhip white girl didn’t understand it either). Dylan, revealed that the musicians of the group, Chase and Devon, were eligible and could be taken on a date, but to be warned, for some (since they were still minors in HS) it could be statutory rape. Frank brought it all home by professing his love for the Jack Wills folks and that they knew how to scream and shout; but they also knew when to keep their mouths shut!   …*oh. Snap!*

Hey, …Don’t forget to catch the Bit Players in their last summer Wednesday night show (8/29/12).  This is improv comedy in the raw, where the Bits will try new things that may never again see the light of day  OR it could be a “bit” at the start of a beautiful relationship in their repertoire.

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!

Friday, August 24th 2012

There are few things more civilized than taking an afternoon tea with friends and discussing intellectual topics and social issues of the day.  It is no surprise than that tea was also at the center of rebellion in the colonies when tea was made more difficult to afford.  After all we Americans are always looking for a bargain!  What better way to get more bang for your buck than to be entertained by The Bit Players with their own weird and quirky commentary on social issues and where you can bring your own beverage of choice.  Our Friday night crowds were not only frugal, they were a very courteous and civilized assembly.

Our rebellious scofflaws on hand for your entertainment included Host, Vlad Tenenbaum, and players, Frank Fusaro, Dylan Eberle, Neal Leaheey, Clayon McFarlane and Stephanie Conrad.

Dylan, Clayon, and Frank in "Good Cop/ Bad Cop"

In the game “Good Cop / Bad Cop”, Clayon was the perpetrator of a crime.  The crime, suggested by the audience, was that Clayon killed Splinter (The Master Ratt from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) with, appropriately for the evening, a Tea Cup at Cheer Camp.  A confession was necessary for this dastardly deed, and it was our resident law enforcement, Frank and Dylan who provided the clues to grill it out of Clayon… (even subjecting the audience to  an improvised cheer with choreography!)

Colleen, a High School Teacher of Social Studies was the subject of a “Doo Run” song performed by Frank, Stephanie, and Dylan.  Perhaps not true to life for Colleen, the song an off-the-cuff version of “some questionable teacher somewhere” whose students may have gotten more than they bargained for.  This teacher may have given new meaning to the words “Hall Pass”.

Dyal is interviewed by Neal with Vlad interpreting
in Visual Interpreter"

Running through the sets at break-neck speed the Bit Players threw in more bits to the delight of the audience.  “Visual Interpreter” played by Neal and Dylan and “interpreted by Vlad” was an interesting tale about Camping.  In this bit we saw Jean Claude Van Der Castle recapping his earlier life as a baby as he scaled the Pyrenees Mountains with his mother.  This seemed to whet young Van der Castle’s appetite as we saw him engaging a Sherpa in yet another expedition.  When the Sherpa proved a nuisance,  the baby clubbed him and stole his goat and continued on to become the man at the top of the mountain!
Watch the video - > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNkwCunl8v0&feature=plcp

Neal, Steph, and Dylan in "Bartender"

Neal, Steph, and Clayon in "Bartender"

Neal, Steph, and Frank in "Bartender"

“Bartender” a signature bit performed exclusively by The Bit Players featured Stephanie and Neal as Bartenders whose advice (in song) was sought by the patrons with “unique problems” provided them by the audience.  Dylan, whose mom was the school lunch lady realized that having a lunch lady mom was beneficial in that mom could take care of the bullies that picked on him.  Clayon, who was missing his spoons, learned the art of good manners to ask politely for a new utensil from his mom.  Frank may have swallowed a penny, but this may become a money-making venture for him as he was able to increase his investment 100% by extricating a dime.

Dylan and Frank as "Sportcasters"
with Neal and Clayon as athletes

Dylan "Serenades" audience member, Sean

In the second set we watched “Sportcasters” where the audience provided the suggestion of “Changing Diapers” as the sport of choice.  In this bit, Frank and Dylan (aka Chet and Chip Ripplebaum [ but not related]) announce the sport as it is taking place.  The Diaper Bowl was performed by Neal (aka Dr McGillicutty) who attended the Ukrranian School of Diapering and Clayon (aka Derrick Freeeeedom) from Boston, who perfected his art of diapering, coming up through the daycare ranks where he saw may “wicked good pissas”.

Audience member Sean was elected by his group to come on stage to celebrate his UnBirthday with the Bit Players, in a “Serenade” song about him.  We learned that Sean, originally from Italy is a deckhand on a boat who also enjoys playing the drums.  The Bit Player males (especially Italian-American, Frank) thought Sean to be a particularly attractive man and sang several stanzas of this improvised song about the possibility for a bro-mance with Sean.

Drank and Dylan "Tap the Audience", Katie and TJ

“Tap the Audience” was another bit that the audience gets to share the stage with the players.  In this bit about Chefs, audience members Katie and TJ participated, filling in dialog when the asked by Dylan and Frank.  Making da pizza pies, Frank (butchered), I mean spoke with, an Italian accent assisted by his side kick, Dylan.  There may have been a little more going on than just pizza being made as Frank wanted a little more than his dough to be kneaded.

The Bit Players ended the night on a smelly note, with a “Blues Song” about poor hygiene, only accentuating the chorus, “I’ve got the low-down DIRTY, poor hygiene blues…”

So go primp and polish.  And with a sparkling pinky finger extended, …  “If you liked the show, tell your friends…  If you hated it, tell your enemies!”

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!

Wednesday, August 22nd 2012 (aka Baseball, Beverages, and Bit Players)

Yogi Berra was once quoted as saying, “If people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, how are we going to stop them?”  For Red Sox fans, this has meaning on multiple levels.  But why lament the Sox lackluster performance this season when you can get your baseball fix right here in Newport, at the Firehouse Theater with The Bit Players. 

Here’s Wednesday night’s starting lineup: Leading off and starting Pitcher, Frank Fusaro.  (Sorry, we’re going by National League rules; the pitcher bats. Deal with it!) At first base, Vlad Tenenbaum. Catching is Jim Foley (he’s the only one who can catch for Frank, - if you know what I mean).  Batting cleanup, and playing Second Base, Anna Smith. Rounding the horn, at Shortstop, John Mulligan.  And playing the hot corner, at Third Base, Clayon McFarlane.  Since several members of the audience hail from New York, the opponents for tonight’s matchup are the Yankees, and therefore we don’t need to field any outfielders!!!.

The Bit Players perform "Story, Story, Die"

Throwing out the first knuckeball of the night, the Bit Players told the tale of Tim Wakefield’s baseball in “Story, Story, Die!”  With the audience suggestions of a baseball and the location at  the mall, we meet Jeff (who happens to be the brother of Doug) Mirabelli. Jeff finds a deal on a ball that was thrown by Tim Wakefield.  Jeff knows that his brother is the only catcher who can catch for Wakefield and purchases the ball.  But not to give it to his brother.  Oh, NO!  Jeff plans to sell it on Ebay and makes lots of cash.  Until Doug find out and tries to trick Jeff into selling it to him.  Jeff eventually hides the ball in a tree in his backyard and sets traps for Doug.  Unlike in other shows, very few Bit Players were harmed in the telling of this tale.

Frank, John, and Clayon in "Good Cop / Bad Cop"

In the second inning, the Players went to South Boston in a bit called “Good Cop / Bad Cop”.  In this scene, with Frank and Clayon as the cops, and John as the perpetrator, John is coerced into confessing to the crime of killing Martha Stuart, with a flashlight, on a cloud.

Jim and Anna in "Shakespeare Alphabet"

Jim and Anna were up next in “Shakespeare Alphabet” in a scene where Jim and Anna must tell a story in the form of Shakespeare, but with a catch!  Their dialog must begin with the next consecutive letter in the alphabet.  In this scene, Jim is the King and is served by his loyal court jester, Anna.  Jim is bored by his royal life and offers Anna the crown to which she not only gladly accepts, Anna purports that she must have a royal bloodline of her own, as her genes were meant to rule!

After the 7^th inning stretch, (although Sweet Caroline wasn’t played), our musicians Devon Mello on keyboard and Dylan Eberle (Yes, I said fellow Bit, Dylan) on the Drum machine added their own mash-ups to other popular songs as the backdrop music of the night. 

The Ballson's are "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

Further down in the lineup, the Bit Players were searching for some new talent to join them on stage.  VERY newlywed couple, The Ballson’s, were selected to be the focus of a “Serenade” song performed by the players.  Monica, a bank teller, met her hubby Brian, a construction ironworker, both from New York.  The couple were married this past Sunday and are honeymooning throughout New England.  Watch the video to see The Bit Players compose a song in their honor -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAxYgSp-1Uw&feature=youtu.be

Clayon, Frank, and Jim in "Lines From A Hat"

When our crowds arrived at the Firehouse’s ballpark this evening they were asked to fill out bits of paper with their favorite line from a movie, song, or quote, which was to become inspiration and further dialog for our actors, Jim and Frank (with Clayon also joining them) in “Lines From A Hat”.  In this scene…. Wait for it….. wait for it…  Yes, about Ballplayers, we see Frank, Jim and Clayon in their own clubhouse section at the park reveling in the fact that they have the best of all worlds as pitchers as they are rarely called upon.  In their own exclusive club, they can drink and eat copious amounts of popcorn, where no girls, (not even Clayon’s mother) are allowed.

We hope you had your fill of baseball, beverages, and Bit Players on this fine Wednesday evening.  We always welcome our fans, with open arms, back to the glory of the game.

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night (and Wednesday’s thoughout the summer) at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!

Friday, August 17th and Saturday August 18th 2012

Have you ever experienced something so amazing that you can’t help but share it with your friends or family so they can somehow re-live the experience with you?  Recently, I was on a trip to Pennsylvania and I stayed in an economy hotel.  Nothing special, just a place to sleep and shower.  BUT….  Next door was a little coffee shop, and when I entered its sanctuary, it was as if choirs of angels were singing in my ears!  They had over 58 kinds of doughnuts!  And for those who came to the Firehouse Theater this weekend, by all accounts from the buzz about The Bit Players after the shows, they too were encountering these “holy grail” moments. ( Maybe not accompanied by the singing choirs of angels that I imagined, but perhaps a better alternative, complemented by our amazing musicians, Devon Mello and Chase Ceglie).  And because at the Firehouse, we understand the need to share this miraculous experience with others, we are offering, through the technology of Live Streaming, a way to share these incredible shows live on the internet, as they are happening.  How cool to actually watch a Bit Players show live, and also share it with your family and friends who are thousands of miles away??  Yes, we can and are doing just that! Just ask the audience members on Saturday who had relatives watching the same show from Florida and other far-away places.

Now, it you were stunned into an awe-filled stupor by what you saw and want to relive these mind-blowing experiences  yet again,  here is an attempt with meager vocabulary to describe the indescribable, and capture these remarkable shows in words:

Matt, Clayon, Frank, and Stephanie remain
in "Story, Story, Die" hosted by Vlad

To warm things up on Friday night, the Bit Players  began with “Story, Story, Die!”  In this bit the entire cast ( Matt Lindman, Frank Fusaro, Anna Smith, Clayon McFarlane, and Stephanie Conrad) is on the literal firing line, with Vlad Tenenbaum as the executioner.  The story “Bob and his Magical Balloon; in Never-Never Land” suggested by the audience, was the title that the players had to continue telling when Vlad pointed his finger at them. Any hesitation is reason for the executioner to kill them off.  In the story, Bob came to Never- Never Land and offered Tinkerbell his balloon as a peace offering.  Tinkerbell commented on just how big Bob’s balloon was.  Tinkerbell took the offering and unexpectedly began to rise higher and higher until the balloon popped.  Tinkerbell was frightened as she began to fall until she remembered she could fly and landed smack dab in a lagoon inhabited by fairy-eating mermaids.  Bob rescued Tinkerbell and took her to a cave where he lit candles, offering her wine, and whispered sweet nothings into Tinkerbell’s ear.  We can only guess that Tinkerbell was impressed with the size of Bob’s balloon after all!

Stephanie, Clayon, and Anna impressed the audience with their 60’s “Doo Run” song. Particularly impressed and delighted were two members of the audience, Marketing Supervisor (at Newport Grand) Joe , and his companion, Spanish Teacher, Jen.  The two were the inspiration of this song all about them.

Vlad performs his mime piece, "Good Morning"

Vlad enchanted the audience with his mime piece “Good Morning”. In this bit, Vlad asked the audience for objects that they would encounter in their everyday morning routines.  The crowd really wanted to get their money’s worth out of Vlad with their unusual suggestions of cat food, rocks, diapers, Hot Pockets, glasses, and peppers.  Vlad then took all of the suggestions and told a story with his body, interacting with these objects as well as bringing these objects to life. (Click on the link to view - >

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm5TtLnt11k

Frank and Anna in "Genres"

The scene game, “Genres” performed by Anna and Frank, and hosted by Matt, had the crowd chucking and chortling. The audience provided the genres of movies in which they would like to see a scene enacted.  As brother and sister, Frank and Anna had the dilemma of murdering their parents and wondering what to do with the bodies.  Matt then changed the scene to a Western genre to which Frank commented that he wanted to camp, not with Anna, but with other men (and maybe some sheep) and then not talk about what happened.  Moving into the genre, Religion, Anna added that she and Frank could come clean to God, but not the police about their murdered parents.  Matt changed things up again with the genre, Shark  Week, which sparked Frank to say that they could dispose of their parents bodies by kicking them overboard, as they reached the coast of South Africa and Seal Island.  With that problem solved, Matt altered the scene one last time to the genre of The Walking Dead, to which Frank demanded to know why Anna slept with his best friend, all the while the entire ensemble of players  took to the stage as zombies. Here's video that had the audience cheering. ->

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUpyFXs0qY0&feature=youtu.be

The Bir Players perform "Serenade" for Bachelorette, Hayley

In Friday’s second set, bachelorette Hayley, marrying fellow Nebraska Cornhusker and college love, Brian, were the subject s of a “Serenade” song performed by the entire cast of players.  Hayley a speech pathologist, and Brian a building engineer were the focus of the song made up entirely about them sung to the tune of the hit song “My Girl”.

Stephanie, Clayon, Frank and Matt in "Irish Drinking Song"

Another member of the audience, high school student, Andrew, celebrating his birthday with the Bit Players was recognized with an “Irish Drinking Song”. When asked what was his secret ambition, Andrew replied “I want to make doughnuts” (side note* Andrew, I recommend going to PA to visit my aforementioned doughnut haven!), the Bit Players composed a song all about Andrew’s future in doughnut making, to the delight of Andrew and the entire audience.

As if on a sugar rush, the energy of the weekend crowds did not diminish for Saturday’s capacity crowd.  Some new faces were added to the cast on hand this night.  With Vlad hosting, he was joined by Dylan Eberle and John Mulligan while Frank, Matt, Clayon, and Stephanie stayed to play another night.

Since “Story, Story, Die” has been received well, the Bit Players brought it back again.  In this improvised story about “Justin and his Top Hat in England” we are taken by the Bit Players to wander the foggy streets of London where Justin encountered Vampires in their lair.  Justin is frightened and begins staking the vampires when they steal his hat (because, it seems, that vampires have an affinity for hats, but a weakness when their hats are removed).  Justin begins to remove the vampire hats, killing off more vampires in the process, until the vampires confront Justin, telling his that they will not harm him because they are vegetarian vampires and only drink beer blood. Justin is aghast at his own actions and asked what he can do to make amends.  (This particular group of vampires is highly motivated to raise money for their own kind and their “Vampires R’ US fund”) The vampires beseech Justin to donate to their fund, but Justin must pay extra since he has already killed off so many vampires.

David, an audience member sitting in the shadows of the theater, who earlier had offered a rather dubious suggestion (of a particular adult toy) was good-naturedly called out by the players to be the subject of a “Doo Run” song.  In the song (performed by Matt, John, and Clayon), David, a systems analyst, was affably paid back for his earlier submission.

The Bit Players perform "Serenade" for Bachelorette, Page

Bachelorette, Page, celebrating her upcoming nuptials with her all-girl posse at the rear of the theater, was called to the stage to be “Serenaded” Bit Players style.  Page , a marketing major, due to be wed to her Stonehill college sweetheart ,accountant, Michael on September 15^th, was the focus of this improvised song all about them.

John sings Led Zeppelin
 in "Telethon"

Clayon sing R Kelly with his all-boy
backup dancers in "Telehton"

Ending the first set was a new bit that the players have recently added to their repertoire, “Telethon”.  The premise of this bit is that a telethon is taking place for an audience suggested “cause”.  This night the cause was “Turtles”.  Additionally, the players, acting as the “talent” to persuade the viewers of this fictitious telethon to donate their money for the cause, perform an improvised song in the genre of music provided by the audience.  John was up first and executed a nearly perfect rendition of a Led Zeppelin song about turtles.  Clayon seduced the audience with his R Kelly styled song and gyrations with his all-boy backup dancers.  Dylan offered his head-banging, body slamming, Grunge songg about our trusty terrapin friends.  Finally, it was the Hip Hop/Rap artistry of Matt and Frank bringing the telethon to its tortoise conclusion to the din of the audience applause and approval.

Dylan goes Grunge in "Telethon"

Matt adds his Hip Hop/Rap syltings
in "Telethon"

Frank sings Hip Hop/Rap
in "Telethon"

In the second set of Saturday night, Customer Service Rep, Peony, celebrating her (*wink* 17^th??) birthday along with her Dad, Hue, was granted a Birthday wish by the Bits in the form of an “Irish Drinking Song” improvised in honor of her special day.

An audience favorite bit, “Radio Show” related by Dylan, entitled “The Giant Lawn Mower” was brought back into the rotation.  As the theater was plunged into darkness, illuminated only by the “On Air” sign, Dylan began his narration with his fellow Bits silhouetted in the darkness, adding their voice-over characters in the mix.  In this episode 2 of season 3 on KCYYY radio, Larry meets the Grass Monster on a grassy knoll.  The Grass Monster grabs Larry’s ankles exclaiming that he wants Larry’s soul.  Confused, Larry contends that his soul is not in his ankles.  Initially thwarted the Monster asserted that he had Larry’s girlfriend, Debra held captive in his evil lair.  Larry and the Monster agree to reconvene on the grassy knoll to exchange Larry’s soul for Debra.  Larry admits he thought that exchanging his soul for Debra was a fair deal to be able to have sex again.  In the meantime, Larry secretly meets with a mechanic who he commissions to build a giant lawnmower to destroy the Monster.  Larry’s mother soon arrives with cookies to help keep up the strength and endurance of Larry and his mechanic in their quest to build this giant weapon.  A Mexican delivery boy also comes to call to offer sustenance, but also wanting to be tipped.  At sunrise on the 2^nd day Larry strolls out onto the knoll with his spurs jingling (also commissioned by his mechanic).  The Monster is met by the giant blades of a Helicopter which also transforms into a Transformer in an epic battle.  The audience is left with the questions; Will the epic battle be uploaded to YouTube?  Will the Mexican Delivery Boy ever receive a tip?  For answers, tune into the next episode of Radio Show.

Here's a special added treat!  Watch as John hosts The Bit Players version of the hit TV game show, The Dating Game from Saturday night's show.  Guess who Stephanie chooses from her selection of  eligible bachelors.  Whom would YOU choose?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bD6pXJnoyw0&feature=youtu.be

If you would like more information about The Bit Players shows being streamed live, contact the theatre.  We are excited to offer new services to our fans.  Stay tuned for more ways that the Bit Players will be employing technology for your enjoyment!

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!













Wednesday, August 15th 2012

There are some who scoff at the idea that improvisational comedy is a valid form of entertainment.  That it requires no skills and is just a bunch of loonies on stage making up stuff to satiate their own egos.  While there may be some truth that improvisers make up stuff to satiate their egos, improv however, does require skills that need to be continually practiced and honed for its performers to become better individually and as a group.  The Bit Players take great pride in their work ethic to improve what they already do, as well as working on adding new “bits” to their repertoire.  Their summer, Wednesday performances are a glimpse into that experimentation and fine-tuning from which their regular audiences are normally excluded.  In the few remaining Wednesdays of summer, The Bit Players will continue to offer their experimental performances, in the structure of a real show.  What you see may eventually become part of the ongoing repertoire of bits, or it may be something that’s been shelved that they are working to improve.  Either way, the Wednesday audiences are privy to the raw creation that is at the heart of improv comedy.



Clayon and Dylan remain in "Story, Story, Die"
Hosted by Neal



Taking the reigns as Host on Wednesday, was Neal Leaheey.  The show started with a warm-up piece, “Story, Story Die!”  In this scene game performed by the entire cast (Dylan Eberle, Matt Lindman, John Mulligan, Clayon McFarlane, and Lobo Linhares) the players are “killed off” if they falter in the telling of a collaboratively constructed tale about an audience suggested topic.  In the story “The Littlest Peanut”, as the story meandered on a train enroute to Plantersville, Neal eradicated player after player until only Dylan and Clayon remained.  In the end, it was Dylan to live to tell another tale.

Clayon and Matt perform "Puppets"
with the help of two audience members

Two lucky audience members were invited up onto the stage to help with the bit, “Puppets”.  In this bit, the two helpers can bend and manipulate the actors (Clayon & Matt) in any way they would like, while the actors justify their positions within the context of the scene.  The audience enjoyed watching the somewhat masochistic posing and postures to which our helpers subjected Matt and Clayon in this zany scene at a graveyard.

Dylan, Clayon, John, and Matt in
"Gibberish Interpretive Dance Poem"

“Gibberish Interpretive Dance Poem” was a bit that was dusted off and resurrected from the oldies pile.  In this bit, one player speaks in “gibberish”, two players interpret the gibberish in the form of movement and dance, while a fourth player translates the gibberish and the movement into a coherent story.  While Dylan was speaking a form of German gibberish, our dancers, Clayon and John used their bodies to enhance the narrative, while it was Matt’s job to tell the story, entitled “The Road that was Actually Taken”.

Clayon, Lobo, and Matt in "Doo Run"

Two (fortunate?) audience members Ann and Ralph were the subjects for a “Doo Run” song performed by Lobo, Matt and Clayon.  Although Ralph described Ann as being wonderful and Ann may have playfully described Ralph as an idiot, our players made up an amusing song all about them in the style of an old time 60’s song.



"Epic Poem" performed by Clayon, Lobo, and John



Thinking that she could remain in anonymity in the darkened confines of the theater, Joan became the topic of an “Epic Poem” performed by Clayon, Lobo, and John, in “The Day Joan Landscaped”.

“Radio Show” was up next with Dylan narrating.  As the lights went down, and the theater was On Air, our fictitious radio broadcast on station WWCDY (with the second “W” standing for weird) we meet evil  Dr Dangerous at a carnival who has an affiliation with the creepy Bearded Lady.  It was the Bearded Lady and another circus freak, Reptileman (aka Cobra Commander) that plot their revenge and devise a sinister plot to take down the circus.  As tension mounted and the Bearded Lady and Repitleman cut the ropes, the Big Top falls.  A pillar crashes down and pins young Timmy.  The Bearded Lady then has reservations about what she has done, but not so for Reptileman, who relishes in his malevolence.

The Bit Players perform "Mini-Musical"

The Wednesday night show ended with “Mini-Musical” performed by the entire cast.  In this improvised musical “Haley and Arthur at the beach” we learn that Haley desperately wants a commitment in the relationship with Arthur, but time and again Arthur makes more friends  like that with the Hotdog Man, and discards Haley.  The Hotdog Man conveys to Arthur that he is a “friendslut” and to make amends with Haley, he must ask him out on a man-date.  Alas, we see Haley and Arthur together at a Batman movie.   Haley begins to softens with Arthur’s attention, believing them alone together in the theater…  But has Arthur truly become friendship-monogamous?  Only time and our imaginations, will tell.

And as always, The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!

Friday, August 10th and Saturday August 11th 2012

I recently walked into a Super Target for the first time, and exclaimed, “Holy crap!  If there were a world cataclysm, you could wall yourself in this place and never have to leave!”  (much like in the movie, “Dawn of the Dead” (the original, not the crappy remake) but without the Zombies).  And for those “improv  aficionados” in the audience this weekend, they may have also felt that all of their improv needs were met and they would never need to leave.  But unfortunately, the milk that paired with your endless amounts of cereal at Super Target, would get chunky and eventually inedible.  And your beer and champagne would run out at the Firehouse Theater, and you would unhappily be forced to leave their borders.  But don’t fret… You can always return to the comforting confines of Super Target, (open 7 days a week).  And within these hallowed pages, you can relive your experience with the Bit Players, over and over again, (not to mention come back to the Firehouse next weekend…   Just sayin’)

On Friday night, The Bit Players were ready and eager to fulfill all of your needs. Hosted by Frank Fusaro and joined by fellow Bits, Vlad Tenenbaum, Clayon McFarlane, Anna Smith, Tim Bric, and Dylan Eberle, the seats in the house were full,  and the show was jam-packed with quality Bits.

Frankk and Dylan remaining in "Story, Story, Die!"

“Story, Story Die” was the opener.  In this bit, hosted by Vlad, the players must continuously tell the same story adding on their own unique twists, when the host points in their direction.  If the host feels the player faltered in any way, the host may “kill off” the player.  The remaining players then continue the tale until only one player survives to end the story.  Vlad was merciless with his trigger finger in the narrative entitled “The Adventures of Sasha, and How She Got To School.”  Sasha’s trained bob-sled dog, Akita (trained by British Special Ops) helped to navigate the icy slopes, until Akita encountered a Polar Bear.  Akita fought bravely, but was overcome by the bear.  Sasha was left to fight her own battle and stabbed the bear.  With the weight of the bear now atop Sasha, causing the ice below her to crack, and faced with plunging into the icy depths below, Sasha used Akita’s body as a floatation device and survived to live another day…

Vlad performs "Good Morning!"

The incomparable Vlad (trained by none other than Marcel Marceau) delighted the audience with his mime piece, “Good Morning”.  In the piece, Vlad not only mimed the actions of the audience suggested morning routines, he also gave life to the objects he encountered.

The Bit Players in "Jeopardy"

Vlad also was the crowd favorite in “Jeopardy”. Hosted by Frank, all of the players participate as on the hit game show.  In this Bit Player’s version of Jeopardy, the audience is the board and provides the topics. The players must buzz in and provide the (appropriate??) question. Vlad’s responses to “Toronto” / (Torah on Toe) – A Jewish book on Toes, and “Ebola” / (E-Bowl-a) – An online website for bowling, had the audience laughing and applauding, resulting in Vlad’s victory as Jeopardy Champion.

Emo songstress, Anna in "Telethon"

R&B stylists, Clayon in "Telethon"

Death Metal head, Dylan in "Telethon"

Rapper, Tim in "Telethon"

Rapper, Frank in Telethon

The first set of Friday night could not have ended on a higher note than with the Bit Player’s newest bit, “Telethon”.  In this Telethon with Santa as the worthy “cause”, entertainers perform to help raise money and awareness on the topic.  Anna, our “Emo Songtress” started off the parade of stars with her emotional song of being alone at Christmas.  R&B Artist, Clayon, had the ladies swooning over his sexy Christmas song and hypnotic body gyrations.  Dylan’s deep growling vocals in his “Death Metal” song about Santa’s reindeer and presents (I think?), had the crowd playing air guitars and their heads bobbing.  Finally ending the set were Rappers, Frank and Tim who made a strong appeal for Santa’s cause with their urban take on Santa's plight.  Accompanied by Chase Ceglie and Devon Mello who provided the characteristic funk drum beat for this Rap Song and all of the background music for all of the entertainer’s songs.  THIS IS A MUST SEE VIDEO!!! - > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qk_jeXrBf-Q&feature=plcp



Bachelorette, Bethany is "Serenaded" by Anna



The second set was equally amazing. The Bit Players surprised a bachelorette in the audience, Bethany, with a “Serenade” all about her and her fiancée, Nicolas’, not so successful first Mini-Golf date.  Bethany told the story of her online meeting with Nicolas and their subsequent flubbed first date which became fodder and inspiration for The Bit Player’s song about them.

Vlad, Frank and Dylan in "Epic Poem"

Sandra, a massage therapist, who dreamed of one day being a flight attendant was given a taste of her dream in an “Epic Poem” performed by Vlad, Frank and Dylan, entitled “The Day Sandra Flew”

Friday night ended in epic proportions in “Blues Song” all about space.  The entire cast added their vocals and bluesey stylings as they crooned… “I’ve got the low-down, dirty, outer space blues !”

And then… On came Saturday!  Just like having the entire Super Target at your disposal and overdosing on Lays Potato Chips in the snack isle, so too is having back to back nights of Bit Players (you can’t eat just one…)!!

Saturday’s host, Vlad joined again by Anna and Clayon, had some new faces with which to play, with Jim Foley and Brittany Hunt  added to the mix.



Brittany remains in "Story, Story, Die!"



“Story, Story Die!” was brought back again in the first set.  In “The Adventures of Megan and her Magic Balls” we followed Megan on her quest to become a professional bowler in Boston.  With her skills, Megan is crowned Queen of the bowling alleys. The people of Boston love Megan so much they make her a Pop-Star, and Megan changes her name to Katie Perry… The rest is history.

Anna, Brittany, and Clayon in "Ding"

Anna and Brittany (joined by Clayon – aka Marie) entertain us in “Ding” hosted by Vlad.  In this bit, the actors must succumb to the fickle host’s will. If Vlad doesn’t like something that an actor says he may ding them, in so doing, the actors must then come up with some other dialog or action, and that becomes the new reality within the scene.  In this story about sorority sisters, we see Anna commanding pledged member, Brittany to perform a hazing ritual and skin Marie, a fellow sister.  Brittany at first objects to performing this heinous act, but Anna reminds her of the disgusting acts that Marie has been doing, such as wiping her hands on the curtains after eating bags of Cheetos.  Brittany then agrees to Anna’s request to skin Marie like a peach.

Jim concludes the "Serenade" for Bachelorette, Megan (#1)

Jennifer, celebrating her birthday with the Bits was honored in a “Doo Run Song”.  Wanting to be a soccer champion, the Bits gave Jennifer her wish in a song all about her becoming a gold-medal winning soccer Olympian.

The first of the Megan Bachelorettes was called to the stage for a “Serenade”.  Megan (#1) due to wed college friend, Stephen on September 15^th was the topic of a song all about their love of each other.  Everyone let out a collective “Awwwww!” as Jim culminated the song, epitomizing their love for always….as Stephen ….”Counted the ways…”

Jim and Anna perform "Shakespeare Alphabet"

“Shakespeare Alphabet” performed by Jim and Anna had the crowd (especially the party in the back of the theater) in stitches.  This Old World story about “Love and Sword Fights” set in contemporary *FU-bleep-ing* Dorchester, had best friends turned enemies  about to come to blows.  Jim, defending his love's honor that was in dispute by Anna’s critique of her, is finally resolved as Jim sees that his love has been tainted, and agrees with Anna’s viewpoint to “end” the relationship.  (Check out the video here-> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Zt9Eh1fgAw&feature=plcp )

Brought back a second night was “Telethon” and fittingly enough about Zombies.  (Remember my Dawn of the Dead reference? See what I did there?) 

In this Zombie laden Telethon Anna sang “Country”.  Brittany took on “Metal” (who knew?  …Dylan, watch your back)  Jim (as-white-as-they-come) performed a Gansta Rap…  (Oh yeah, he DID!), and Clayon went Reggae.  The audience was equally impressed, as the bit ended Saturday’s first set.

Vlad interviews bachelorette, Megan (#2) for
"Sounds Like a Song"

The Bit Players were flying through the second set in rapid succession.  To honor our second bachelorette, Megan (#2) the Bit’s performed an old piece in a new way.  In “Sounds Like a Song” Megan #2 was brought up onto the stage and interviewed by Vlad.  Sr Analyst, Megan set to marry Bass Player, Mark on October 20^th,met while on a photo shoot of Mark’s band.  The love that Megan and Mark had for each other and also their love of tattoos was all fodder for a story of improvised songs about their life.

Juliene (a sexy bee-otch as described by her friends) celebrating her 35^th Birthday at the Firehouse Theater was singled out for an “Epic Poem” performed by Anna Brittany, and Jim was entitled “The Day Juliene Sold”.

Brittany, Jim and Anna perform "Moondoggie" with Vlad

Because the show was proceeding at such a fast pace, the bit “Moondoggie” was added to the set list.  This signature bit had Vlad interviewing an expert (performed by Anna, Brittany, and Jim) on a topic.  In this case, our expert not only knew the topic, but also WAS the topic; a dragon.  Our dragon,  named Seraline, was found in a basket (on Tuesday) by a nice family who adopted him.  The family told him that he was a Magic Dragon who could breathe fire.  The audience had some questions for the dragon.  When asked what the dragon ate, he replied matter-of-factly; Ham!  We also learned that the dragon worked for the Rhode Island Office of Magic where he helped with the “cat problem".

As always, The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!