Monday, October 29, 2012

Friday, October 26th and Saturday October 27th (New Beginnings and Firsts)

As the writer of this Blog, I am going to apologize in advance for my self-interested ramblings in this blog entry.  I hope you can understand as a proud Momma, the need for me to gush… just a bit.  After all, on Friday night my beautiful daughter, Stephanie received a proposal of marriage by her long-time boyfriend TJ, LIVE on stage in front of a full house at the Firehouse Theater during the Bit Players show.  The Bit Players have had their share of Bachelor/Bachelorette, Birthday, Anniversary and Girl’s Night Out parties, but this was a FIRST actual live proposal on stage.  The audience not only witnessed the proposal and the acceptance, but were an integral part of the experience.  Especially with our new friends, “The Hecklers” in the front row, who were jokingly egging TJ on to propose, and unbeknownst to them, that was exactly what they were about to witness!!!
But before we get too much more into TJ and Steph’s special moment right now, although it’s hard to remember, there were OTHER things that happened at the Bit Player’s shows this weekend!  On Friday night the cast included: Host, Dylan Eberle, with Frank Fusaro, Vlad Tenenbaum, Jim Foley, Stephanie Conrad, and Lobo Linhares.
Dylan and Frank in "Ghost Story, Die!"
Hosted by Vlad
Starting off the first set of the night was “Ghost Story Die!”, a bit where the players, directed by Vlad must spin a collective, cohesive, spooky story about a character and a few details supplied by the audience. However, if at any time the players stumble, pause too long or are boring, Vlad can, at his discretion, kill off the players one by one.  As Friday night’s story progressed we learned about Darius’ adventures in a graveyard, with his soap-on-a-rope.  Darius came upon his own headstone while cleaning the stones with his soap. 
Lobo as the "perpetrator" with
Dylan and Frank as "God Cop/ Bad Cop"
An audience favorite bit, “Good Cop / Bad Cop” was up next.  This bit saw Lobo confessing to the crime (provided by the audience) of killing Doug Funny with a Lobster Trap at Band Camp.  The cops, Dylan and Frank, provided the clues for Lobo, through their unique art of interrogation to guess his crime.  The audience squirmed with delight to see Lobo squirm in the hot-seat, struggling on Lobster Trap.  But the crowd rejoiced as Lobo completly understood Frank's reference from American Pie,  "That One time... That one time" at Band Camp!
Stephanie, Jim and Vlad perform "Late To Work"
“Late To Work” is another favorite of the crowds.  In this bit, a chronically late employee (played by Stephanie) must come up with a plausible excuse to tell her angry boss (Played by Jim) for her latest tardiness.  Stephanie’s co-worker Vlad helps her out by miming clues behind Jim’s back as a reason for her being late.  The clues as provided by the audience were that when Stephanie awoke and got out of bed, she stepped on a mousetrap.  Trying to free her foot from the trap she attempts to use WD-40 to release herself from the snare.  When that didn’t work, Stephanie used a plunger which did the trick.  However now feeling quite hungry after her ordeal, Stephanie goes to her kitchen to find there is nothing to eat, so she takes an empty cereal box, fries it, and eats it.  Satiated, Stephanie go outside to find her car had been eaten by zombies.  Stephanie them hitchhiked to obtain her ride to work and was picked up by a passerby, on a segueway, who dropped her off at work.
Stephanie, Frank, and Vlad in "Survivor"
There is no rest for the weary, as Vlad had his work cut out for him in the next bit, “Survivor”.  Initially played by the entire cast and directed by Dylan, a scene is concocted by an audience inspired suggestion of a Subway Station.  When all of the players have “played their part” Dylan stops the scene, and the audience votes one member out. The scene is then replayed, but all of the characters created in the initial scene must be played out. After each round, the audience votes out another player until only one remains who must act out the entire scene by himself acting out all of the roles.  On this night, Vlad was the sole SURVIVOR!

The Bit Players in "Doo Wop"

The musical bit, “Doo Wop” was up next.  Watch as the players sing their devotion for a “Solo Cup” suggestion supplied by the crowd with solos by Stephanie, Jim, Frank, and Dylan.  (Click here to view the video -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-ItkNqnsu4&feature=youtu.be )
Dylan, (Bluegrass), Lobo (Jock Jams), Frank (Rap), and Jim and Stephanie (Sonny & Cher) in "Telethon"

A “Telethon” for Facial Hair Awareness ended the first set.  In this musical bit Dylan was endowed with the musical genre of “Blue Grass”, Lobo was offered “Jock Jams”, Frank took on “Rap” and Stephanie and Jim were bestowed with “Sonny and Cher”.  Each player assigned their unique music style must then create in improvised song about the Telethon’s topic.  (The audience seemed to agree that Jim’s Cher impersonation could rival some of the best drag queen impostors out there).
Frank and Jim in "Actor's Nightmare"
In the second set, Jim and Frank took on “Actor’s Nightmare”.  In this bit Jim can only read his lines from a script selected by an audience member, and Frank must somehow justify Jim’s the lines of dialog.  The scene was inspired by the audience suggested occupation, Flight Attendants.
Vlad and Lobo in "Sportscasters"
“Sportscasters” was up next in the rotation.  In this bit, Frank and Dylan play the roles of sports announcers in a pseudo-sports-like action played by athletes, Lobo and Vlad.  In “Soot Bowl 2012” our athletes competed as chimney sweeps.  In the scene we saw Rodriguez (Lobo) from the South American Leagues get eviscerated by Bubbles the Monkey (Vlad).
TJ proposes to Stephanie LIVE on the Bit Players stage
Next up, all eyes were on Stephanie and TJ for the Bit Player’s “Serenade” of them preceded by “The BIG Proposal”.  Share Steph and TJ’s joy along with the Bit Players as you watch this clip of the momentous occasion!  Click the link here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxcd8BMGU6g&feature=plcp
The Bit Player’s ended Friday night’s performance with a Blues Song from an audience suggested topic, fittingly entitled “The Engagement Blues”.
Saturday night’s Bit Players performance saw an entirely different and boisterous crowd.  Included in the audience, the Bit Players welcomed Groton Dunstable High School all-girl improv troupe. These high schoolers had the opportunity of honing their skills by spending the afternoon training and learning the art of improv with the Bit Players.  By all accounts, these girls who are just starting out with improv have a bright future ahead of them.
Frank and Patrick, hosted by Vlad in "Ghost Story, Die!"
Another new beginning saw Patrick Dugan take the stage as a new improviser with the Bit Players in his first ever show!  Patrick surprised everyone in “Ghost Story Die!” In tonight’s story about Michel and her Bagel in Florida, Patrick hung in there, duking it out with  big dogs, and surviving until the end.  Left to finish the story Patrick attempted to pick up where the story left off as the bagel holes with teeth had enveloped Michel in darkness.  But Vlad had had enough and killed off Patrick as well, in this first ever elimination of the entire cast.
Frank, Clayon, Jim, and Patrick sing "Irish Drinking Song"
Patrick also saw some playing time (joined by fellow bits, Frank, Jim and also Clayon McFarlane) in “Irish Drinking Song”.  In this musical bit, audience member Lillia was the focus of attention.  Lillia, a self-purported domestic engineer, (or as Frank pointed out, a Mom, which is the hardest job of all), also admitted that she had one day dreamed of being an astronaut.   The Bit Player’s fulfilled Lillia’s dreams in their own unique way as a special present for her birthday.  Watch what could have been Lillia’s destiny. (Click the link here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0vnci5eMIo&feature=plcp )
Vlad and John perform in "Location, Career, Death!"
In the second set Vlad and John Mulligan performed in “Location, Career, Death”.  In this bit, with John out of the room, the audience provides suggestions of a location (a bubble bath), an occupation (sex therapist), and an object (banana) that Vlad must convey to John only through the use of mime.  When John thinks he knows what each is, he claps and Vlad will move to the next item.  When John thinks he understands the identity of the last item, he must then through mime, kill Vlad with it.  Of course, the visual of John getting into a bubble bath with Vlad had the audience in hysterics!
Jim, along with The Bit Players "Serenade" Henry
For the next bit, the proverbial joke was on The Bit Players as audience member, Environmental Consultant, Katherine nominated her boyfriend, Henry as having a birthday.  Accommodating as usual the Bit Players brought Henry up on the stage to be “Serenaded”, to which Henry conceded that it really wasn’t his birthday.  The Bit Players proceeded to serenade Henry anyway.  Learning that both Katherine and Henry enjoyed sailing it helped to set Katherine up as the butt of a few jokes.  Katherine was chided by Jim telling her “she wasn’t gonna get a ring”,  Patrick provided that she was “no longer gonna get to raise his mast” and Frank added that Katherine “should use her energy to find a real career”.
Patrick chooses Frank!!... in "The Dating Game
Patrick was highlighted in yet another bit entitled “The Dating Game”.  With Patrick out of the room, the audience provided the three eligible bachelors played by Jim, Vlad and Frank three unique quirks.  Jim was endowed with being a clown, Vlad was slowly turning into a vacuum cleaner and Frank was reliving his own private fantasy in The Lion King. The bit was hosted by John who led Patrick through a gauntlet of questions for the bachelors to deduce their peculiarities. In the end Patrick identify each player’s oddity and eliminate them one at a time until he chooses which bachelor with which he would most like to date.  In the end, Patrick also shared Frank’s fantasy, and chose to cuddle with Simba .
Frank and Jim, along with audience members
Lauren and Emily in "Tap The Audience"
Emily and Lauren were called to the stage to help Frank and Jim with the next bit .  Emily and Lauren were from the improv troupe previously mentioned who were training with the Bits that afternoon.  In this bit, “Tap The Audience” Emily and Lauren had to fill in the blanks when “tapped” by Frank and Jim.  In this scene about travelling salesmen selling dead baby products, Lauren and Emily were troupers.  Fitting in with the weekend’s theme, the scene ended with Jim down on one knee asking his prospective customer, “Will you marry me?”
One more note for our Bit Player fans -  we want to once again remind you about the special Halloween Show on Wednesday, October, 31st from 8-9 pm.  Fans coming to the show dressed in costume will only pay $5 at the door for admission.  There will be lots of candy and a costume judging contest with prizes too.  Make your reservations early. You don’t want to miss out!
 The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!


Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Friday, October 12th and Saturday October 13th (Fast and Furious)

Muhammad Ali once said “I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark”.  The Host of the Bit Players performance on Friday, Vlad Tenenbaum, must have been channeling his inner Ali, as the show flew by at breakneck speed, with a phenomenal, twenty  bits being played on the night.  His fellow Bits, Lobo Linhares, Neal Leaheey, Stephanie Conrad, Jim Foley, John Mulligan, along with musicians, Devon Mello and Chase Ceglie, had all they could do to keep up with Vlad.
The Bit Players perform "Ghost Story, Die!"
Starting off the top of the show with a re-tooled bit entitled, “Ghost Story Die!", we find George and his pencil in downtown Newport.  George turned out to be possessed by the Fog Monster that had overtaken the town.  George did the only noble and righteous act he could think of.  He stabbed himself in the eye with his pencil. In so doing, he caused the fog to clear.  George then wrote a note to his dead girlfriend, Mindy, whom he had also stabbed.  In the note George apologized for his pitiable actions, telling her how much he loved her… and then he too, died!
Jim Foley, Stephanie Conrad, John Mulligan,
and  Neal Leaheey star in "Party Quirks"
“Party Quirks” had John hosting a Halloween party.  The rest of the players portrayed famous people coming to the party, dressed in costume. John must not only discern their identities, but also their costume choice.  Jim was James Dean dressed as Count Chocula, Stephanie was Lady Gaga dressed as Obama, and Neal took on RuPaul dressed as Hillary Clinton. 
Stephanie, Jim, and John
in "Doo Run"
Next up, audience member, Margaret, an independent web designer was surprised by a  “Doo Run” song improvised for her on the spot by Stephanie, Jim and John.
Audience members, Andy and Nasia, join Neal and John
on stage to perform "Puppets"
With the bits and bodies flying across the stage, Vlad decided to throw in more unexpected games.  The bit “Puppets” was supplemented into the set list.  In this bit Vlad asked Neal and John to perform as the puppets in this scene, while two members of the audience, Andy and Nasia, were invited up on the stage to be their puppeteers.  Andy and Nasia put Neal and John through their paces in this scene about two interior designers installing a ceiling fan.
Vlad, Jim, and John in "Epic Poem"
Calling Jim and John to join him on the stage, Vlad added another bit to the list, “Epic Poem”.  In this bit, since Andy did such a great job in the previous bit puppeteering and it was also Andy's birthday, this trio of players created an improvised poem all about “The Day Andy Fought Fires!”
Finishing out the first set was “That Sounds Like a Song”.  In this scene inspired by diapers, Jim and Stephanie found themselves as the parents of an adopted adult son, John, who not only thinks it is perfectly fine to poop in his pants, John is proud of it! However the twist in this bit is that the host, Vlad, may at any time during the game shout,  “That Sounds Like A Song” and the players must then improvise a song about what they’ve just said. Watch this video clip to see what happens in this wacky scene.  (Click here to watch the video -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbdUonE8lLc&feature=youtu.be )
In the second half of the show Vlad and John played “Location, Career, Death!” (This is The Bit Player’s version of the old children’s game, broken telephone).  In this version, (with John out of the room), Vlad gets suggestions from the audience of a location (a brewery), an occupation (Lunch Lady) and an object (an eye patch), which Vlad must convey to John only through the use of mime.  When John believes he understands what each is, he claps and Vlad moves to the next suggestion.  When John thinks he knows the final item, he must, through mime, kill Vlad with it.
Stephanie, Neal, John, and Jim
perform "Irish Drinking Song"
Another audience member was selected as the subject for “Irish Drinking Song”.  Jake who has a fear of snakes was bowled over with this Irish-styled song created for him by Stephanie, Neal, John and Jim.
Neal, Lobo, and John perfform in "Moondoggie"
hosted by Stephanie
“Moondoggie” had the crowds laughing.  In this bit, hosted by Stephanie, it was Neal, Lobo, and John acting as the expert being interviewed by Stephanie.  The twist was that these three are actually ONE person and must speak in ONLY one voice.  Our expert, Dr Hooligan was an authority on Mars exploration.  We discovered that our expert was adopted by aliens which sparked his interest in this field of study.  We also learned from Dr Hooligan, that aliens have a very hands-off approach to parenting since his alien parents have no hands.  Dr Hooligan admitted to having explored the center of a black hole which he described as being very dark.  The studio audience had a few questions for the doctor.  In response to how he got back to earth, Dr Hooligan replied … “by walking”.  When asked his favorite color, the doctor said, “Redship mist” (obviously,  a color invented by NASA), and finally, when asked what time it was, the doctor responded, “It’s time for an invasion!”
Jim and John in "Word at a Time"
More bits were thrown into the fray in the second half.  John and Jim were asked to perform “Word At A Time”.  This bit inspired by the audience suggestion of Gladiators, is a scene game where John and Jim work together to tell a story, each alternately contributing the next word.  We see our triumphant gladiator take pity on his opponent and sheathes his broadsword.  The gladiator offers the peasant a gift of lions instead.
Audience members Tim and Jake particpate
with Jim and John in "Tap the Audience"
Another added bit, “Helping Hands” was up next.  Neal and John performed as actors, with Stephanie and Lobo providing their hands.  This silly scene was about arm wrestling no less!
More audience participation was requested in the next bit as Tim and Jake were called up to the stage for “Tap The Audience”.  In this bit, these two participants must help Jim and John with dialog for the scene when Jim and John, acting as newspaper reporters, run out of things to say.
The last bit of the night for Friday was “Blues Song” about fast food.   All of the Bit Players crooned about their favorite indulgent and artery-clogging guilty pleasures.
On Saturday night the pace was equally as quick, ......but ladies…  It was still oh, soooooooooooooooo S-A-T-I-S-F-Y-I-N-G!
With Chuck Malone tickling the ivories and providing the musical accompaniment, and Dylan Eberle taking on the hosting duties, the two were joined by Vlad, Jim, Clayon McFarlane and Tim Bric for the Saturday night show.
Starting the top of the show with “Story, Story, Die!” about Igor and his apple in the Yukon. The tale took a bizarre twist as Igor met Jeffery and their two knives became enchanted by ancient Indian spirits The knives “Rusty and Sharpie, fought valiantly. Remaining standing to finish the tale was Dylan as he concluded that Rusty and Sharpie’s clashes generated green and red sparks creating what we know today as the northern lights.
Next up was “Haunted House”.  In this bit, Tim was inheriting a haunted house from his uncle with the stipulation that he must spend the night in this house and be visited by the three spirits who inhabit this house.  The first spirit played by Jim was Lance Armstrong, followed by Clayon’s spirit of Puff Daddy.  Rounding out the trio was Dylan playing the spirit of Big Bird.  Watch the crazy spirits was they convey to Tim their identities. (Click here to watch the video -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzOywLam-Ks&feature=youtu.be)
Dylan, Clayon, Jim, and Tim in "Irish Drinking Song"
Dylan, Clayon, Jim, and Tim took on “Irish Drinking Song” about Sadie the 7-11 Clerk.  In this improvised song, Sadie meets her nemesis the robber who stole all her meat.  Sadie gave chase to the robber asnd caught him.  However Sadie’s dilemma was how to discipline this robber because she’d never disciplined a man.  Sadie’s fate was a happy one as she hugged the robber and they ended up buying a house together, complete with a Persian rug.
Bosses Clayon and Jim interrogate Tim
who is aided by Vlad in "Late to Work"
The bit, “Late To Work” had our chronically tardy employee, Tim being confronted by his bosses Jim and Clayon as to why he was again late to work.  Fortunately his co-worker, Vlad has his back and helps Tim (through the use of mime) to come up with this plausible (??) excuse.  Tim told the tale to his bosses of how his bedroom was flooded when he awoke that morning.  Tim was then resourceful and evaporated all the water by lighting a fire.  Famished by his efforts Tim went downstairs to find he didn’t have anything to eat in his house.  Luckily, two raccoons came in, which Tim snatched up and rotisserized for his breakfast.  There was more bad news for Tim as he found that his steering wheel was missing in his car.  Tim was aided by his neighbor’s horse.  No, not to ride, but to become his steering wheel!  Finally heading to work, Tim stopped to pick up a hitch-hiker clown.  That was Tim’s story and he was sticking to it!
Vlad along with the Bit Players "Serenade" Kathy
The Bit Players in cahoots with her family, surprised Kathy and brought her up on stage to be “Serenaded”.  A good sport, Kathy was subjected to an interview through which we learned that she was from Westerly, and a watercolor artist.  Kathy was celebrating wither special day with her husband John, her son David and his girlfriend Krissy.  The Bit Players took all of this information and created a one-of-a-kind song all about Kathy.
“Radio Show” was up next with Dylan narrating.  In this dramatic play, the audience is plunged into darkness as the players tell their spooky tale.  In this tale, we listen in on fictitious radio station  WYYY, to ”The Headless Horse” part 2 of the four-part series.  We meet Jeffery the jockey, about to ride his prize winning horse Dare-devil in the third leg of the triple crown races.  However upon entering the stables he sees that his horse is dead on the stable floor and is headless.  Jeffery is almost inconsolable.  The groundskeeper tells Jeffery that in upstate New York they could perform a dark art and resurrect the dead horse.  The groundskeeper took Jeffery to the old burned out racetrack that was haunted by dead native American puppies.  The groundskeeper’s eyes glowed red as lightning struck, and the head of the horse came alive.  Jeffery wondered how he could ride a horse without a body, and then solved the problem by exclaiming, “I will sit on his head!”  However Jeffery’s problems were not over.  The groundkeeper declared that there was a price to be paid for this resurrection.  Jeffery told the groundkeeper that he has $1.98.  However, the price was much greater.  It was Jeffery’s own soul.  What will become of the jockey, Jeffery?  What will become of the horse with no body?  Tune into the next installment of… “the horse with no head or something”… muhwhahahahahahah!!
Tim (Country), Jim (Ace of Base), Clayon (Milli Vanilli), and Dylan (Death Metal)
 are the entertainment for a "Telethon" for bankers
“Telethon” finished off the 1st set.  In this telethon, the Bit Players attempt to raise money for an audience supplied cause.  On this night, the telethon was for “Bankers”.  But that’s not all… in this zany bit, the players also get a genre of music in which they will compose their song about bankers.  Tim Bric was provided “Country”, Jim had to sing in the style of “Ace of Base”, Clayon took on Milli Vanilli, and Dylan rounded out the quartet with his Death Metal stylings. 

Dylan, Jim, and Clayon in
"Gibberish Interview"
In the second half, Danielle and Ryan Perry were honored with panache in an “Epic Poem “poem all about growing skin and tattoo artistry performed by Vlad, Jim and Dylan.
In the bit “Gibberish Interview”,  Dylan our expert on scuba diving cannot speak English.  Dylan is provided with a translator, Jim who interprets Dylan’s answers .  Hosted by Clayon in his show “Scuba Me, Scuba You”, Clayon interviews this expert on his scuba diving prowess.

Jim with the Bit Players
sing "Blues Song"

Rounding out the weekend of extraordinary oddities was “Blues Song” performed by all of the players in which they sing their ode to promotions with the chorus, “I’ve got the low-down dirty, Promotion Blues….”
One more note for our Bit Player fans -  we want to once again remind you about the special Halloween Show on Wednesday, October, 31st from 8-9 pm.  Fans coming to the show dressed in costume will only pay $5 at the door for admission.  There will be lots of candy and a costume judging contest with prizes too.  Make your reservations early. You don’t want to miss out!
 The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!

Monday, October 8, 2012

Friday, October 5th (Goodbye to Sunshine)

Our own "Little Miss Sunshine"
Brittany Hunt
With the advent of autumn,  as days shorten, sunrises get later and later, and only weeks away from moving our clocks back, signaling the end of daylight savings and losing our long days in the sun, so too are the Bit Players losing their own “Little Miss Sunshine”, Brittany Hunt.  Brittany will be leaving us for the bright lights, and culture of historic New Orleans.  We wish her well, and always an open door to come back and play with the Bits.
Musicians: Chase Ceglie and Jim Foley
On Brittany’s last night of zaniness, she was joined by fellow Bits, Frank Fusaro, Vlad Tenenbaum, Neal Leaheey, Tim Bric, and hosted by Dylan Eberle.  Adding the musical accompaniment was Chase Ceglie and, normally at the front of the stage, as a purveyor of mirth, Jim Foley was filling in on keyboards.
The Bit Players perform "Ghost Story, Die!"
Now that we have entered the month of October, the Bit Players have added a few new Halloween inspired bits to their repertoire.  Starting off the top of the show was “Ghost Story Die!”  In this bit, each player must tell the same continued ghostly tale.  When a player is being pointed to by the director Vlad, he/she must continue the story from the exact point the last player left off.  If Vlad finds them boring or missteps in any way, Vlad kills them off, leaving the remaining players to continue telling the story.  On this night it was a tale set in the murky confines of Transylvania, with Carlos and his magic burrito.  Carlos dies an unfortunate death while attempting to eat a burrito.  Wanting desperately to return to his loving wife, the ghost of Carlos finds himself before The Devil in hell.  The Devil makes a deal with Carlos, telling him that he could return to earth, if Carlos played the fiddle for him.  Although Carlos does not know how to play a fiddle, his love and a passionate soul inside him allow him to play the fiddle albeit badly. However badly was Carlos’ fiddle playing, the Devil loved it anyway, and wanted to keep him in hell.  Carlos argued with the Devil saying “That’s not the deal we made!” and hit the Devil upside the head with the burrito that he as still carrying.
Tim and Brittany took center stage for “Shakespeare Alphabet” joined by Vlad.  In this bit, the players tell a Shakespearian styled story about an audience supplied topic, but with a twist!  The players must tell it using dialog beginning with the next consecutive letter of the alphabet.  In this scene about “Betrayal in Customs”, Tim and Brittany attempt to adhere to the rules.  However, throw in our resident, Russian, Vlad and all alphabetical rules get thrown out the window!!  Watch the hilarity that ensues as Brittany and Tim try to stick with the convention of the game, while Vlad continuously derails them.   Click -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyLboBFFXMQ&feature=plcp
Frank, Dylan and Neal perform
"Doo Run" song for Celine
The Bit Players did not know whether to believe their luck or believe they were being duped by audience member Celine.  In the bit, “Doo Run” where the Bit Players make up a song about a person they interview from the audience, Celine told them that she was a professional curler from an area bordering the Canadian provinces, who was out celebrating the fact that it was the first Friday in October.
Dylan hosted a spooky version of “Radio Show” entitled “The Torture Garden".  In this bit the audience is engulfed in the darkness of the theater, and the players play the parts in an old time radio drama.  In this scene, we meet John Adams on his Ireland estate, inherited from his great uncle.  Drawn to the garden in the rear of the grounds, John finds the gate is locked.  John meets the creepy groundskeeper, David who has the only key.  The irate David is angry with John for having inherited the estate, and feels he is owed his due for having served Jonathan’s uncle.  David reveals his diabolical plot to gain control over John and his estate. David had John’s love, Samantha, held captive and locked in the bowels of the secret maze of this garden of terror.  David demands that John sign over the deed if he ever wanted to see Samantha again.  John enters the maze to rescue Samantha which was set ablaze by David. Undeterred by the flames, John vows “I’ll run through the flames and not care about any part of it, because I feel the flames of our love…”  Stay tuned for our next episode of... "The Torture Garden"... muhwhaahahahaha...
The Bit Players in "Jeopardy"
With “Jeopardy” up next on the set list, Vlad once again stole the show with his disregard of and deficiency with, the English language. (especially with a call-back to professional curlers with his Rollie Fingers reference).  Watch and be amused! Click Here ->  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij4IjtD8TrQ&feature=plcp
Frank, along with the Bit Players "Serenade" Cowboy Doug
In the second set, the honorary “Mayor of Newport” also known as Cowboy Doug was called to the stage to be “Serenaded by The Bit Players.  A longtime friend of the Bit Players, Doug has been a mainstay at karaoke bars often frequented by the players, where The Cowboy can often be heard belting out country hits like Lonestar’s ,Walking in Memphis, and Toby Keith’s, I Love This Bar.  The Bit Players created a song, on the spot, inspired by their infamous friend, Doug.
The Bit Players perform "The Blues"
Finishing off Friday’s second set, the Bit Players performed “The Blues”.  The audience, who was also in the mood for the upcoming candy-laden and spooky holiday of Halloween, provided the suggestion  of Trick or Treating, as the topic of this improvised blues song to end the night’s merriment.
One more note for our Bit Player fans we want to once again remind you about the special Halloween Show on Wednesday, October, 31st from 8-9 pm.  Fans coming to the show dressed in costume will only pay $5 at the door for admission.  There will be lots of candy and a costume judging contest with prizes too.  Make your reservations early. You don’t want to miss out!
 The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!

Monday, October 1, 2012

Friday, September 28th and Saturday, September 29th (It was a dark and stormy night…)

*Cue  the seductive sounds of a solitary saxophone echoing along a misty, dark alleyway*  The cool September rain, now abated, has puddled and pooled in the potholes,  dancing and sparkling murkily in the light of headlamps of cars passing down the cobbled Newport streets, just off Broadway.  A solitary figure is illuminated briefly as he enters the overlarge doors of the Firehouse.  His pale face is accentuated by his shaven head.  But it’s not his appearance that exposes him as a foreigner.  No.  Only when he speaks…  His name, you ask?  Vlad ….  Vlad Tenenbaum.  And on this dark, stormy, September night, he has a mission; a mission to make you laugh.
With Vlad as the Host on Friday, he was joined by fellow Bit Players, Frank Fusaro, Dylan Eberle, Neal Leaheey, Stephanie Conrad and his first time on the stage as a player, and not behind the keyboard, was Chuck Malone.
In “Slideshow” Frank took us all on a trip to Greenland.  As the rest of the players created poses captured on the slides, Frank not only had to offer an explanation of the poses, but weave them cohesively into his story.
Dylan, Stephanie, and Frank
in "Good Cop / Bad Cop"
In all the Firehouses, in all the world, the vixen, Stephanie, strode into this one.  And as the perpetrator of a crime (supplied by the audience), Stephanie was subjected to the questionable interrogation methods of the Firehouse’s version of law enforcement played by Dylan and Frank.  In “Good Cop /Bad Cop”  Stephanie had to confess to her crimes of killing Bob Barker, with a wishbone, in Never-Land.
Frank,Neal, and Stephanie
perform "Doo Run Song"
Frank, Neal,  and Stephanie surprised audience member, Lynn, celebrating her birthday with her family at the Firehouse Theater with a “Doo Run Song”.  Hubby, Joe, daughter Amanda, and son Jason, who described his mom as amazingly wonderful,  gave up Lynn, a retired teacher of 7th and 8th graders to be the spotlighted by the Bit Players, who created an improvised song all about her.
Bill Crossen is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players
Lynn wasn’t the only person to be singled out by her friends and family.  Up next,  Bill Crossen, was not only highlighted for his 55th birthday, he also called to the stage to be “Serenaded” by the Bits.  As an added bonus, his friends provided some pictures beforehand to the Firehouse’s graphics team who created a very special movie played on the BIG screen in honor of Bill.
Frank and Stephanie in
"Stunt Doubles"



In keeping with the mysteriousness of the murky night, a lost dog was the suggestion for “Stunt Doubles”.  In this bit Frank and Stephanie as pretentious actors call for their doubles, Dylan and Neal, to perform even the most miniscule of tasks.  Neal and Dylan were tasked with hanging posters to find the lost dog Fluffy, as well as thinking and searching as a dog.  With Neal (acting for Stephanie) doing his business on Dylan’s leg, and Dylan “picking up” after this wayward little doggie, Frank scolded Stephanie for  being “way too into this”.
Stephanie provides advice to
Frank in "Bartender"
Chuck,  Neal and Stephanie in
"Bartender"
Dylan laments to his "Bartenders"
Neal and Stephanie
The audience too was feeling a little hazy as the suggestions for the night became even more seedy.  In “Bartender” with Stephanie and Neal acting as the proprietors, their job, in addition to satiating their patrons thirst, is to provide advice in the way of song to their patron’s unique problems.  Dylan, endowed with diarrhea, and Frank provided  with herpes as their problems by the gentleman(?)Sean, in the front row, turned the tables with their songs.  Frank took the suggestion and sang an entire song about his girlfriend who couldn’t say her P’s.  Stephanie (who is actually trained in speech therapy) provided Frank with a clinical approach to his problem.  Stephanie offered the technical description of forming the “P” sound.  Evidently this was factually correct information to the speech pathologist sitting in the back of the theater, who hollered out “Bilabial”!  Before we get to Dylan’s dilemma, Chuck was up next with his issue of wanting to play baseball but having asthma.  Neal offered Chuck the response that he could still play, and puff-puff on his inhaler if he just ask his coach to be the designated hitter, as he wouldn’t have to do much else, except hit the ball, and puff-puff-puff away.  Finally Dylan got his retaliation on Sean by singing about somebody pooped their pants tonight with a refrain of “Sean’s got diarrhea  to-niiiiii-iiight!”  Diarrhea-cha-cha-cha!!!
In the second set, “Actor’s Nightmare” connected in the target’s bulls eye with the audience.  Dylan, who could only read lines out of a script selected by the audience, had to be justified by Frank’s  dialog and continuation of complete story.  As welders, Frank created a cage for Dylan to keep him safe from the world, until Frank realized that the cage would not help.  The two would have to confront and take down all of the characters that were out to get them (Susan, Anya, Hellen, Mrs Bahoynkin (who was doping) and Sir Lawrence).  Watch to see what happens in this hilarious scene .  Click the video here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lFT4fOQ6Ts&feature=youtu.be

Sitting in the darkness of the theater, Ben was found and singled out for also celebrating his birthday.  His secret desire to be a sailor Ben’s wish was brought to life before his very eyes,  and performed as an “Irish Drinking Song” by Stephanie, Frank, Dylan, and Neal.  In the Bit Player version of Ben’s sailing days, Ben fought a giant squid and ended up after taking a hit from his bong of having visions  of Captain Hook and Smee.
In “Half-Life”, a bit where the entire story of a fairytale is told in a scene performed by the players in increasingly smaller amounts of time, 1 minute, then 30 seconds, then 15 seconds and finally 5 seconds.  The audience took pleasure in the painfully frenetic pace of the fairy tale (Hansel and Gretel) as bodies flew and were thrown across the stage.
In Saturday night’s performance it was like the Tale of Two Cities – “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity…”  But mostly  it was - foolishness and incredulity. 
Originally scheduled to be at another Bit Player performance, Neal Leaheey, Stephanie Conrad, Lobo Linhares, and Jim Foley, through a fortuitous turn of events (for us), the affair was cancelled.  So they joined, the rest of the cast of players, Frank Fusaro, Dylan Eberle, Matt Lindman, and Clayon McFarlane  on this epic night.
Frank, Clayon, Dylan, and Matt
in "Irish Drinking Song"
Audience member, Jessica, working in facilities management sales, and celebrating her birthday was surprised to be the focus of an “Irish Drinking Song” performed by Frank, Clayon, Dylan, and Matt.  Although the players were not initially inspired by Jessica’s current job, Jessica offered her secret desire of owning a hot dog truck, which the players eagerly accepted as a suggestion and provided Jessica a taste of living out her dream in this Bit Player version of her life in hot dog sales.
Jim and Matt in Shakespeare Alphabet"
If that wasn’t zany enough, next up was “Shakespeare Alphabet”, a scene game where the actors tell a Shakespearian style story, but can only speak their dialog beginning with the next consecutive letter of the alphabet.  There is no way to capture in words, the shocking events that happened in this scene about “Love and Madness” performed by Jim and Matt…  Watch it for yourselves! Click the video here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDfN3PeuiSA&feature=youtu.be  
Frank and Matt in "Bartender"
Dylan, Frank and Clayon in "Bartender"
 If THAT didn’t make you go “Ewwwwww!”  I don’t know what will?  Perhaps you could get your alternative lifestyle whistle whetted in this next bit, “Barternder”?  This bit is normally performed at the end of a set, but on this night of nights, with the show completely off-kilter, why not mix things up completely.  Dylan and Frank were the bar’s owners and advice givers, and Clayon and Matt their patrons.  Matt was given “Sadie Hawkins” as a problem, and Clayon was provided bed-wetting by the audience.  So, yeah…., what else could Matt do to top his last act?  Well, why not bring Sadie Hawkins to a new level in an all-boys school? Problem is, just what are the rules?  Who asks who?  Sensible bartender, Frank, responded by calming Matt’s unease, telling him to ask Jim (based on the events of the last scene  - Go watch the video!  I’m telling you… It will explain A LOT!)  Clayon, dealing with his 9 year old boy problem of bed-wetting was told by Dylan to stop his penis from squirtin’ and catheterize his willie.  In Dylan’s words, there won’t be a puddle, just a plastic bag, nice and warm to cuddle.
All the bits were called to the stage to perform “Doo Wop Song .  An audience suggestion of an inanimate object becomes the inspiration for this improvised song.  The Bit Players will profess their love for it in the style of a 60’s doo-wop.  The inspiration for tonight’s song was the “blankie”.
Matt and Clayon perform in "Sportscasters"
“Sportscasters” was next on the docket.  In this bit, the suggestion from the audience was cleaning the bathroom.  The two players performing this bit, Clayon and Matt acted out the suggestion as if it were being broadcast by our sports reporters Dylan and Frank (aka Chet and Chip Ripplebeck).  The scene gets more bizarre as Matt (aka Mark Goldberg) takes a plunger to Clayon (aka Derek Johnson) and proceeds to plunger him in the face and then pees on Derek.  Derek however gets the last laugh as he kills Mark with a monkey wrench and win Toilet Bowl Bowl 2012.
Liz has some fun with Matt as she is
"Serenaded" by  The Bit Players
In the second set, long-time Bit Players fan, Liz, was honored for her birthday and called to the stage to be “Serenaded”.  Not happy with her daughter Bailey for setting this up behind her back, Liz was spotlighted on her special day in Bit Players fashion with not only a song improvised for her, but also with a movie clip shown on the Big screen.  The clip was created for Liz from pictures provided by her daughter, Bailey to the Firehouse’s crack graphics team.  We also learned that Liz a massage therapist by trade, had a little fun with helping Matt work out some tightness in his thigh??  Pictures don’t lie, Liz!
Megan and Mike are the puppet masters
for Matt and Clayon in "Puppets"
More audience members, Mike and Megan, were invited up to the stage to help with the bit “Puppets”  In this bit  about putting together IKEA furniture, Matt and Clayon are at the mercy of Mike and Megan who can bend and move them in any direction they want.  These two players must then make the scene make sense based on their physical position.  The audience loved the zaniness with  Mike and Megan as the puppetmasters.
The foolishness of the night ended with a Blues Song where the entire cast helped out to sing a song about “Zombies”
Before we lose the attention span of our A.D.D.  fans out there, the Bit Players want to once again remind you about the special Halloween Show on Wednesday, October, 31st from 8-9 pm.  Those fans coming to the show dressed in costume will pay only $5 at the door for their admission.  There will be lots of hilarious hijinx, candy, and a costume judging contest with prizes too.  Make your reservations early. You don’t want to miss out! 
 The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!