Friday, December 14th and Saturday, December 15th

"Christmas time is here
Happiness and cheer
Fun for all that children call
Their favorite time of the year..."

What a weekend!  It was full of Christmas spirit, swapping cookies, drinking cider and cocoa, Christmas caroling, and simply the joy of sharing in the presence of one another.  I know, for me, I got a taste of the true meaning of the season, and am forever grateful to the Bit Players for this wonderful and memorable weekend.

On Friday, The Bit Players got the Christmas balls rolling with their show hosted by Vlad Tenenbaum.  Joining Vlad were, Frank Fusaro, Tim Bric, Lobo Linhares, and Anna Smith (back from her sojourn in France – Yay!).  Tickling the ivories and providing the sounds of the season were Devon Mello and Chase Ceglie.

Frank, Lobo, Anna, and Tim
directed by Vlad in "Story, Story, Die!"

Starting things off was the bit, “Story, Story, Die”.  All the players told a collective story and were subject to the fickle finger, that is the fate, when Vlad, our mad Russian decided to eliminate players from the line when he was no longer amused by them.  In this story we learned about Billy and his adventures with duct tape in England.

Anna, Tim, and Frank perform
"Good Cop / Bad Cop"

In “Good Cop / Bad Cap” Frank was joined by Anna as the detectives performing the investigation on our crooked, criminal Tim.  Tim’s crime, provided by the audience, was that Tim killed all of the Ninja Turtles, with a Red Solo Cup, at an Ice Skating Rink.  It was Anna and Frank’s job to get Tim to confess to his crime by providing the clues, which Tim used to work out and admit to his wrong-doing.

Lobo and Frank as actors, with Tim and Vlad as "Stunt Doubles" (joined by Anna as "the body")

In “Stunt Doubles” Lobo and Frank were the pretentious actors who called on their doubles, Vlad and Tim, to perform their actions.  In this scene, Lobo and Frank had to deal with hiding a body (with Anna jumping into the fray as the body).  First, Vlad and Tim were tasked with wrapping the body in a shower curtain.  When that didn’t work, Lobo and Frank came up with the idea of using the body as a prop for a dance party (ala Weekend at Bernie’s ).  Finally Vlad and Tim were given the duty of putting the body in a shallow grave.

Tim and Anna in
"That Sounds Like A Song"

In the Musical bit, “That Sounds Like A Song” it was Anna partnered with Tim.  Vlad hosted this bit where Tim and Anna were window washers.  When Vlad was inspired, he froze the scene and directed the actors to continue the scene ‘s dialog in song.  Watch this heart-warming bit as Anna and Tim show us how wonderful a working relationship can really be. Click here to view the video -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAeRVic1Vn8&list=UUCKEgOdfeBioc_vDbVYZv_A&index=2

Frank as Santa and Vlad as the elf, with Tim, Anna, and Lobo as the children in "Santa's Lap"

The next bit was a new holiday favorite “Santa’s Lap”.  In this bit, Frank played Santa helped by his trusty elf, Vlad.  Santa was visited by three children, all eager to receive presents from the Mall Santa.  However, it was just before closing time, and Santa had only three gifts left in his sack (all items provided by the audience – a potato, a machete, and a shake weight).  Santa must convince these innocent youngsters that these are the best gifts in the world, and the children, from the clues provided by Santa and his elf, guess what was to be their present.

Anna, Tim, Frank, and Lobo in
"Blank the Blankety Blank"

In the second set of Friday night, The Bit Players performed another seasonal bit, “Blank, the Blankety, Blank” a musical game sung to the tune of “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer”.  However in this ditty we heard about “Barry the Worried Plummer”.  Who wouldn’t be worried after Frank had come to make a deposit in Barry’s toilet?

Audience member, Tim is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

31 year old Pharmaceutical sales rep, Tim was called to the stage by The Bit Players to be “Serenaded” in honor of his birthday.  Celebrating with his wife, Katherine, a first grade teacher,  we learned that Tim enjoyed watching sports and was a self-professed Giant’s fan.  All of the information gathered in the interview was used in the improvised song, sung in tribute to Tim, by The Bit Players.

Finishing up the night was a “Blues Song” about the audience supplied topic of Disney World.  Amusingly, a gentleman in the back of the theater provided the suggestion of a “date with Anna”… Guess he really wanted to experience, “A Small World, after all”…

On Saturday, Frank took over the hosting duties as he and Vlad were joined on stage by Clayon McFarlane, Jessica Bradley, Stephanie Conrad, and Dylan Eberle. Holding down the musical fort, on keyboards was Chuck Malone.

Clayon as Santa and Stephanie as his elf, with Jessica, Frank, and Dylan as the children in "Santa's Lap"

Since it was such a hit the previous night, the Bit Players brought back the holiday bit “Santa’s Lap”.  It was Clayon taking over the Santa role with Stephanie as the elf, helping to dole out the questionable offerings.  On Saturday night audience suggested the gifts of: a Bag of Glass, a Barbie Doll, and a Chiai Pet for which our children, Jessica, Frank, and Dylan must speculate.

Stephanie, Clayon, Frank and Dylan
in "Irish Drinking Song"

Audience member, Patty accompanied by her friend Paul were out celebrating her birthday at the Firehouse theater and were recognized in true “Irish Drinking Song” fashion by Stephanie, Clayon, Frank and Dylan who performed this bit inspired by them.

The many faces of Vlad as he performs "Good Morning"

Vlad never ceases to amaze with his mime piece, “Good Morning”.  The audience provided items that they would encounter in their daily routine, and Vlad not only interacted with the suggested items, he brought them to life as well.  As Vlad acted out the visual cues, supplemented by Frank’s sound effects, the audience “ooohed and ahhhhed” , identifying each item one at a time; toothbrush, coffee, toilet, soap, razor, lotion.

Jessica and Stephanie as "Bartenders" with Frank, Clayon, and Dylan as patrons to the bar

The bit, “Bartender” finished out the first set on Saturday with the dynamic, all-female duo of Jessica and Stephanie providing the musical advice from behind the bar.  The bar’s patrons, Frank, Dylan, and Clayon came to the bar with unique, audience suggested problems of: Frank’s mustache caused his divorce, Dylan slept with a co-worker, and Clayon had Erectile Dysfunction. 

Kerri Lynn and Victoria are "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

In Saturday’s second set,  the Bit Players called to the stage two young women, Kerri Lynn and Victoria who were celebrating their joint bachelorette party and upcoming marriage to each other to be “Serenaded”.  (Without sounding too much like an activist, watching the love that this beautiful couple radiated with one another makes you wonder why anyone would want to deny that love from being recognized.)  As Kerri Lynn and Victoria shared the details of their meeting through the online dating site “OK Cupid” and subsequent first date at Bertucci’s at the Emerald Square Mall, the Bit Players listened intently, and comprised an improvised song as a tribute to their love, and in honor of their upcoming nuptials.  Watch this special video and share in Kerri Lynn and Victoria’s joy!  Click here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=up95JiHz-qE

Frank as "Scrooge" with Dylan, Stephanie and Clayon as the ghosts of Christmases Past, Present & Future

Another Holiday bit “Scrooge” was added to the set list for Saturday.  In this bit Scrooge, played by Frank was visited by three ghosts who come to teach him about the true meaning of Christmas.  The ghosts were famous people as suggested by the audience.  The ghost of Christmas Past, Stonewall Jackson, was played by Dylan.  The ghost of Christmas Present was the Little Mermaid’s Ariel, played by Stephanie, and the ghost of Christmas Future was Morgan Freeman played by Clayon.

DON'T FORGET THESE SPECIAL SHOWS COMING UP:
• "Family Friendly Funnies" - Wed 12/26 & Sun 12/30 @ 7pm Bring the whole family. These high energy LIVE shows, full of hysterical characters, hilarious games, & side-splitting musical numbers will leave you wanting more every time. These special shows will have plenty of holiday inspired comedy so don't miss out on this opportunity to bring some "ha ha ha" to your "ho ho ho". Appropriate for children of all ages. Tickets: $10. Call for reservations. (401) 849-3473.
• "Laugh in the New Year" - NYE Mon 12/31 @ 8, 9:30 & 11pm
Want something different to do this New Years? Come enjoy this fast paced and energized group of improvisation master-minds. Welcome 2013 with a laugh! 3 shows, 1 night. Each show will be an hour. BYOB! The Mayans were wrong, the world didn't end, let's all laugh about it! Tickets: $20, ask for special group rates and ticket packages. Call for reservations (401) 849-3473.

From Birthdays, Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties, Anniversaries and even marriage proposals, want to arrange a unique event for someone special?  Why not show your love or appreciation for that certain someone, LIVE onstage!  Bring your friend or loved one to the Bit Players show, and celebrate in a one-of-a-kind way.  Contact the theater for information on how we can help you plan and make your event special!

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!

 

Friday, December 7th and Saturday, December 8th

Hope for the Procrastinator

So… Are you finished with your Christmas shopping?  Do you want to jump right through your computer screen and rip my eyes out right now for asking?  Awww… It’s OK.  You need some ideas for Uncle Jack and Auntie Donna, your neighbors across the street, and the slew of cousins you see once a year, don’t you?  Well, you’ve come to the right place.  The Bit Players not only have a plethora of ideas for you, (from Julius Caesar action figures, to Billy Mays famous product line; Sham-Wows, Shake-Weights, and Slap-Chops), they can even suggest ideas on where to go to get great items like Hot Topic and The Island of Misfit Toys.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, The Bit Players are not only funny, they are resourceful too!

Playing for your entertainment pleasure on Friday were Vlad Tenenbaum, Neal Leaheey, Jim Foley, Tim “Lobo” Linhares, and Tim Bric.  The show was hosted by Frank Fusaro and providing the musical complement were Chuck Malone and Mike Sapien.

The Bit Players perform "Story, Story, Die!

To start off the shopping wars, The Bit Players began with a collectively told story, in the bit, “Story, Story Die” about George’s adventures in the toy store.  In this tale, George HAD to HAVE the aforementioned Julius Caesar action figure and battled a fellow woman shopper to get it.  While the woman George had bludgeoned was lying on the floor dying, George attempted to call 911.  But, to the dismay of the injured woman, George had only minutes left on his cell phone because he had a Verizon plan.

Lobo, Frank and Jim in
"Good Cop / Bad Cop"

In the next bit, “Good Cop / Bad Cop” the audience reveled in the frustration of our cops, Frank and Jim as they attempted to provide the clues for our criminal, Lobo, to guess his crime.  The audience provided the suggestions for the crime of killing “The Tin Man” with a “Sham-wow” on “The Island of Misfit Toys”.  However, to the incredulity of our cops and the audience alike, Lobo had never seen the Christmas Classic “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer” and mightily struggled to get the last clue to his confession.

Lobo and Tim in "Stunt Doubles"

Now if you are in the wrapping stages of your Holiday Shopping, you might NOT want to take any pointers from the bit “Stunt Doubles” in which our actors Tim and Lobo are Santa’s elves attempting to wrap the presents.  Our stunt doubles, Vlad and Neal, provided the physical actions in which our elves get all tangled up in the ribbons and even tie themselves together.  But Santa comes to the rescue, and unties our two unconventional elves.

The Bit Players perform "Jeopardy"

In The Bit Player’s version of the hit game show, “Jeopardy”, the audience, playing “the Board” was up for the challenge of supplying the categories in which the players must create a question.  In the category “X-box” we learned that this was what Vlad missed most about his Ex. (You figure it out).  From the category “Wildebeast” Jim quipped that this was what The Beast’s father did before he died.  (Get it?  Willed the Beast???)…  To keep the bad puns flowing, Jim again brought it back around with the category “Will I AM”, when Jim joked that this was what I AM’s father did before he died… (Yes, it’s OK, you can groan now!)

Jim sings his problem to "Bartenders", Vlad and Frank

The Bit, “Bartender” finished the first set with Frank and Vlad manning the bar.  The patrons coming to the bar with their problems tonight were Tim, who was dealing with the Mayan Apocalypse, Neal who couldn’t wrap gifts, Lobo who was suspended, and Jim who married Adele. In this bit, our patrons sing about their problems to their bartenders, and our “Drink Therapists” sing advice back to them.  Jim stole the show with his swooning saga about Adele’s predilection for writing songs about her ex-boyfriends.

Neal as "Scrooge" meets Oprah, the Ghost of Christmas
Future, played by Frank

In the spirit of the season, The Bit Players have brought back some holiday favorites which they added in Friday night’s second set in a bit called “Scrooge”. In this bit, Scrooge, played by Neal was visited by three ghosts.  These three ghosts are famous people suggested by the audience.  Our Ghost of Christmas past, was Richard Nixon, played by Jim.  Hulk Hogan, played by Tim, was the Ghost of Christmas present, and in all her regalia, Oprah, played by Frank, was the Ghost of Christmas future.  Watch the hilarious holiday exploits of our players in this weird and wonderful scene.  Click the link  - >

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIHqL9vKqyI

 

Birthday Girl, Darlene is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

Birthday Girl, Darlene was sacrificed to the Bit Player Gods by her party in the theater's back rows to be “Serenaded” in honor of her special day.  Darlene, a self-puported stay-at-home lay-about, was the focus of an interview in which the Bit Players gather information and derive an improvised song about the highlighted person.  Darlene and her husband (who did not accompany the celebrating posse) met while Darlene was working as an admin at a college in NY.  The couple have been married for 12 years and enjoy gardening together.

To end Friday night’s escapades, The Bit Players finished with a “Blues Song” fittingly entitled, “The Home Shopping Club Blues.

On Saturday night, joining Frank, Vlad and Jim were Stephanie Conrad, Dylan Eberle, and Clayon McFarlane, with Chase Ceglie holding up the musical duties.

The Bit Players in "Story, Story, Die!"

“Story Story, Die!” on Saturday went to the bizarre in a tale about Luther and his apple.  Travelling by taxi, Luther travels to his orchard in the country.  Luther is so enthralled with his apples that he begins making out with one.  In the course of this mad organic lovemaking with an apple, Luther finds a worm.  In shock, Luther falls out of the tree, and the worm devoured Luther’s body.  Growing to epic proportions the worm travels the world, going on morning talk shows and discussing his speech impediment.  What???  Yeah, that really happened!

Frank, Clayon and Dylan in
"Good Cop / Bad Cop"

In “Good Cop / Bad Cop” Clayon took on the perpetrator role, and Dylan joined Frank as the law enforcers.  On this night Clayon had to confess to the crime of killing Mitt Romney, with tweezers, at Hot Topic.  Only one racially-charged comment was issued before Clayon uttered the first part of the confession, followed rapidly in succession by the remaining declarations.  It was indeed a world record for the game on this Bit Player stage.

Dylan,  Clayon, Frank and Jim
perform "Blankety-the Blank Blank"

The first of the new bits, “Blankety-the-Blank, Blank” was a roaring success with the crowd.  Sung to the tune of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer,  Dylan,  Clayon, Frank and Jim sang about Walter the embarrassed bus driver.

Dylan, Jim and Vlad as
the "Visual Interpretor"

In the second set the audience was captivated, beginning with all of the innuendo in “Blind Freeze”.  The next bit “Visual Interpreter” went to new and unexpected heights of weirdness, with Jim as the interviewer and Dylan as the expert on pole dancing.  Vlad offered his miming interpretations in this bit where we learned the rich history of pole dancing from its humble beginnings to the craze that has taken over  as white women have turned into “women with questionable behavior”  (*whispering *  OK, they’re sluts).  Click the link to view this zany scene -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y6hg4k-vLw&feature=youtu.be
  The Jack Wills crew was in the house with Jack Wills Mama, Shawna some getting some acknowledgment with a Birthday Shout-Out.  But shy, Shawna did not want anything more than a “Woot-Woot”.  Happy Birthday !!!

The Tull's are "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

 
Also celebrating in the audience were Beverly and Carl Tull (The CUTEST couple EVAH!).  The Tulls were celebrating their 40^th wedding anniversary.  Surprised and a little tipsy from their revelry, the Tulls wound their way to the stage to be “Serenaded”.  Beverly who works in real estate with her hubby and financial advisor, Carl met here in Newport at a bar.  Although the bar (The Tavern) has not survived, as Jim noted in his verse of the improvised song, that the Tull's love outlasted the bar in which they met .  Watch to see the video of the couple’s special night out.  Click the link to view - >

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cF3l8DSUV5E&feature=youtu.be

Stephanie, Clayon and Frank in "Santa's Lap"

The second of the new holiday bits was up next, “Santa’s Lap”.  In this bit Santa, played by Clayon and his elf assistant, Stephanie, have run out of the “good gifts” to give the children waiting to see him.  So Santa and his elf convince the children that the items, a Slap-Chop, a ham bone, and an Easy-Bake Oven, are really great gifts.  Our children played by Jim, Frank, and Dylan must guess their presents from the clues provided by the gift-givers.  Watch this heartwarming scene of blatant commercialism and jocularity.  Click the link to view ->

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVjkeZNxsJs&feature=youtu.be\

 

The Bit Players perform a Blues Song about
Frosty the Snowman

The Bit Players closed the show in a way not usually ended.  The Bit Players had earlier filmed a spoof to the movie “Jack Frost’s” and its opening blues number, Frosty the Snowman.  Having been successful in rehearsal, the Bit Players wanted to share it with their audience.  With Dylan on the drum machine, Jim at the keyboard, and featuring amazing saxophone solos of Chase, The Bit Players ended the show with their own rendition of this bluesy carol to the delight of their audience.

Now… Procrastinating Reader… Get shopping!  You have only 14 days LEFT!!!!

From Birthdays, Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties, Anniversaries and even marriage proposals, want to arrange a unique event for someone special?  Why not show your love or appreciation for that certain someone, LIVE onstage!  Bring your friend or loved one to the Bit Players show, and celebrate in a one-of-a-kind way.  Contact the theater for information on how we can help you plan and make your event special!

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!

Friday, November 30th and Saturday, December 1st

“It came without ribbons, it came without tags, it came without packages, boxes or bags…  “

Oh yes, “THE SEASON HAS ARRIVED”!  This is the time of year where our “To-Do” lists are just as long as our shopping lists, the hustle-bustle of our daily routines gain momentum, and we are all frazzled and exhausted.  What better way to escape that reality and enter a world where you can create the twisted scenes of life that you would like see?  Maybe living out that occupation of which you always dreamed?  Or watching the demise of someone who, because they didn’t entertain your whims, is killed off by a mad Russian?  At the Firehouse Theater, the Bit Players aim to please and are here to relieve you of your stress-filled days, and offer the best gift of all; Laughter with your friends (and sometimes AT their expense).

The cast list set to amuse our Friday crowd was Dylan Eberle, Frank Fusaro, Jessica, Bradley, Patrick Dugan and Tim Bric.  The show was hosted by the mad Russian himself, Vlad Tenenbaum and was all set to the musical accompaniment of Devon Mello on keyboards.

The Bit Players perform "Story, Story, Die!"

Daily life in the Ocean State is always a bit different from the rest of the country, with our rocky coastlines and surly beach goers, RI’ers are a hearty bunch and none was more evident than in the telling of the first tale of the night “Story, Story, Die”.  Our entire cast told a collective story about Jason and his adventures at the beach.  We first met our main character consuming vast quantities of Pizza from a shack on the beach.  Jason learns that he can consume even more pizza by forcing himself to vomit.  He soon learns that this was no ordinary pizza.  This pizza contains a super serum turning him into a Super Hero who can kill all the local sharks plaguing the waters.  Mercifully for the sharks our Russian host, Vlad ended the scene after  Jason had almost exterminated all of the sharks.

Dylan and Frank  as cops, with Tim Bric as the "perp"
in "Good Cop / Bad Cop"

In “Good Cop / Bad Cop” the cops in this bit, (played by Frank and Dylan), presented the necessary clues to our perpetrator, played by Tim.  This crime supplied by the audience’s suggestions of killing Pac Man, with a Twinkie, at Augusta National Golf Course were the transgressions to which Tim confessed from the clues provided by the cops.  The audience was delighted with all of the nerdy 80’s video games references, followed by the topical remarks concerning the downfall of Hostess.  The crowd especially loved the torture of the interrogation and laughed wildly as Frank and Dylan offered numerous clues to lead Tim to say Augusta.

Pat, Jess, Frank, and Tim
in "Irish Drinking Song"

Kevin, a newly commissioned officer in the US Navy was singled out by the Bit Players.  Vlad’s declaration of Kevin being an Army Officer was good-naturedly forgiven as Kevin and his clan of family and friends laughed at Vlad’s faux pas.  Kevin was regaled in good old “Irish Drinking Song” style by Pat, Jess, Tim, and Frank about Kevin’s desire to become a baseball player.  Not only was this wish fulfilled by the Bit Players, but they also included Kevin’s other secret desire, to become a gigolo.

Dylan, Jess, and Vlad
in "Visual Interpreter"

“Visual Interpreter” is always a favorite of the audience.  With the physical comedy of Vlad’s extraordinary mime abilities, the upbeat interviewing skills of Jess, and the bizarre narrative talents  of Dylan, this bit about The Fiscal Cliff/Debt Crisis set the boring topic on its ear, and had the audience in stitches.  (Watch this entertaining video by clicking the link here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6PHB3aeb1o&feature=youtu.be

Audience member, Kathy, celebrating her 65^th Birthday with her family had a bit of limelight, as the Bit Players asked what present she would like to receive on her Birthday.  Sharp-witted Kathy pronounced that she wanted a million dollars, but she settled on a diamond. As always the Players give their audiences that for which they ask and sang a “Doo Wop” song all about a diamond, which to Kathy’s delight, in the song, it was sold for a million dollars.

Pat, Jess, Frank and Dylan in "Director"

In the second set of Friday’s show, Frank was the host for “Director”.  In this bit, Jess, Pat and Dylan were rehearsing for a play.  The play, “Something in the Dark” as suggested by the audience, found our actors, Pat and Jess in a cemetery, jumping over very small fences, and being accosted by a Canadian Caretaker, Dylan.  The strange scene went beyond absurd as the Frank, the director, changed the play into a “Soap Opera”, with Pat playing “O J Simpson”, Jess imitating “Kevin Bacon”, and Dylan impersonating “Bill Cosby”.  Those poor attempts at impersonation were made even worse when Frank changed the scene again, requiring all of the players to do “Christopher Walken” impersonations.

Susan is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

New Jersey actress, Susan, celebrating her 50^th Birthday with her husband Mark was called to the stage in honor of Susan’s special day.  As it turns out, Susan, is very familiar with improv, herself working in the area of Theater Sports.  Her accomplished husband Mark, first chair, playing clarinet with the NY Philharmonic Orchestra secretly helped to set up this special attention for Susan with the Bit Players to get Susan up on the stage.  After interviewing the couple, The Bit Players created an improvised song for Susan and Mark, in a “Serenade” just for them.

Two Aduience members assist Frank and Dylan
in "Tap the Audience"

Two more volunteers were called to the stage to assist Frank and Dylan in a bit called “Tap The Audience” .  In this bit the two volunteers when “tapped”,  provide dialog for Frank and Dylan in the scene.  Not only was the audience laughing along, but so were the volunteers in this final bit of Friday night.

On Saturday the raucous crowd was boisterous and raring to go and so were the Bit Players in their newly decorated Firehouse Theater with all of the holiday trimmings.  Joining Vlad, Frank, and Dylan on stage were Stephanie Conrad, Tim “Lobo” Linhares, and Neal Leaheey.  And joining Devon as part of the Bit Players house band, Chase Ceglie.

To start things off on Saturday Night, “Story Story, Die!” had the cast telling a  crazy tale about George who’s grandmother had died.  In order for him to get the deed in the trust fund, George had to travel through the Alaskan wilderness on his motorcycle.  When George’s mode of transportation failed he displayed his masculine prowess much like Ben Hur and attempted to guide his dog, Sparky and their sled through the tundra, but failed miserably when they slapped into a tree.

Neal, Dylan, and Lobo
in "Shaekespeare Alphabet"

One of the signature bits, “Shakespeare Alphabet” was in tonight’s lineup.  In this bit, the actors, Lobo and Neal, assimilating roles akin to the classic tragedy, found themselves ensconced in a “treasonous” tale provided by the audience.  But unlike the classic prose, our actors had to follow the rules of the alphabet with their dialog each beginning with the next letter of the alphabet.

Stephanie, Lobo, Frank, and Dylan
perform "Irish Drinking Song"

“Irish Drinking Song” was up next.  In this bit the players, Frank, Dylan, Lobo, and Stephanie compose an improvised song about a suggested person and occupation.  Tonight’s lyrical limerick was about Gary, The Professional Wrestler.

The always entertaining, Vlad charmed the audience with his amazing mime skills in the next bit, “Good Morning”.  In this sequence, Vlad asked the audience for suggestions of items that they might encounter during their normal morning routines.  Vlad then took the items (toothbrush, glasses, toilet paper, fingernail clippers, and lotion) and not only mimed using the items, Vlad brought the items themselves to life as if they were interacting with him.

The incomparable, Vlad performs a mime sketch, "Good Morning"

In the last bit of the 1^st set on Saturday, the Bit Players performed their signature bit, “Bartender”.  In this bit, Frank and Stephanie, as part of their jobs not only listen to the unique problems sung to them by their bar’s patrons, they must sing advice back to their patrons in improvised songs.  The audience suggested that Neal had “family problems”.  Neal then crooned about his wife having an affair with Santa Claus.  Stephanie responded with her advice to Neal, to sleep with Mrs. Claus.  Lobo’s problem of not being able to get Wifi, was turned on its side as Lobo intoned about his wife with “One Eye”.  Vlad’s had the problem of not being able to speak English. Vlad was making his efforts to learn the new language even more difficult with setting his sights low in learning only one new word a day.  Finally, Dylan had the problem of being addicted to drugs.  In Dylan’s song we heard that he was really the catastrophe-in-the-making , Lindsay Lohan.

Frank and Stephanie as "Bartenders" with Neal, Lobo, Vlad, and Dylan as patrons

Christina is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

Beautiful, Brazilian, Christina now living in Cranston, was called to the stage to commemorate her Birthday.  Her boyfriend Eric had prearranged this “Serenade” as a tribute to her.  While Christina wound her way to the stage a special movie was shown of her, which included special moments in her life.  Christina originally came to the United States to study.  She and Eric met through their work in sales.  All of this information was used by The Bit Players to create a unique and improvised song for Christina in honor of her special day.

Kyle and Best Man, "Art the Greek" help out
Dylan and Lobo in "Puppets"

Keeping the love flowing and new friends being asked to the stage, Bachelor Kyle and his Best Man, Art the Greek were called to the stage.  Kyle was also presented with a special movie up on the BIG screen for all to see.  On display were wonderful and special moments in Kyle’s life leading up to his upcoming nuptials to fiancée, Joy.  But the Bit Players made Kyle and Art work for their spotlight by having them assist in a bit called “Puppets” as puppeteers for Lobo and Dylan in a scene about “Cycling”.

Hosted by Neal, with Frank, Vlad, and Dylan as elgible bachelors
andStephanie as the bachelorette in "The Dating Game"

With all of this love in the air, it was fitting for the next bit in the lineup to be “The Dating Game”.  In this bit, the eligible bachelors Dylan, Vlad and Frank received odd quirks as suggested by the audience.  Tonight, Dylan was reliving Apollo 13, Vlad was a Lion on the Serengeti, and frank was stuck in “the Little Mermaid”.  While these suggestions were being provided to our bachelors, Stephanie the lucky bachelorette, was out of the room.  When she returned, Stephanie’s job was to ask questions of her bachelors to figure out their unique identities, and choose the bachelor with which she would go on a date.

The Bit Players finished off the night in true blues fashion, with a “Blues Song” all about Hostess products.  Joining in the song’s chorus, the audience added their dejection about this beloved American staple food (??)…  with…. “the low-down, dirty Hostess Blues…”

From Birthdays, Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties, Anniversaries and even marriage proposals, want to arrange a unique event for someone special?  Why not show your love or appreciation for that certain someone, LIVE onstage!  Bring your friend or loved one to the Bit Players show, and celebrate in a one-of-a-kind way.  Contact the theater for information on how we can help you plan and make your event special!

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!