Thursday, January 31, 2013

Friday, January 25th and Saturday, January 26th

 Dearest Bit Players Fans,
 You have all reaped the benefits of seeing some hilarious improv comedy performed for you each and every weekend to sold out crowds.  Now we are asking you, our fans to return the favor.  Yes, you can help us by telling RI and the world that Newport, RI is the epicenter of funny and deserving of the nod for “Best Comedy Night” by casting YOUR VOTE!    Please go to http://www.votebitplayers.com and write “The Bit Players” in for Best COMEDY NIGHT.  The Providence Phoenix will then tally the write-ins for the “Best of” nominations and will enter the top vote getters onto a formal ballot.  So help us get on the ballot!  Once we’re on the ballot, you’ll be able to vote for us against all of the other Comedy Night groups.  Show us how much you LOVE US.  VOTE NOW.  VOTE OFTEN!!!
While priding themselves on being a family friendly improv troupe, this weekend the Bit Players deviated from their respectability pledge, scoring high on the wicked meter.  Although the show is driven by the audience suggestions, the Bit Players went willingly aboard the naughty train and never looked back.
And so my dear reader, if you are easily offended, stop reading, or if you are of a tender age you might need your parents’ permission to read further…  Oh, fuck it!  Yeah, right!  Like me giving you any disclaimer is going to prevent you from reading what you already can see on primetime TV.. 
So on with the shows:
Performing for your improv pleasure on Friday night were Vlad Tenenbaum, Frank Fusaro, Jim Foley, Neal Leaheey, Tim Bric, and Jessica Bradley, and joining them with their musical stylings were Chase Ceglie and Devon Mello.
Frank, Tim, and Jim in "Good Cop / Bad Cop"
In the bit “Good Cop/ Bad Cop” Tim found himself in the hot seat as the perpetrator of the crime, supplied by the audience, of killing Edgar Allen Poe, with a Magic Eight-ball in Margheritaville.  It was our cops’, Frank and Jim, whose job it was to get Tim to confess to this most dastardly of deeds by providing little hints along the way.  With this trio of pop-culture aficionados on the stage, it was hard to keep up with the rapid fire stream of references.
Neal, Jessica, Frak, and Jim in "Irish Drinking Song"
“Irish Drinking Song” was up next on the set list.  Played by Jim, Neal, Frank and Jessica, this musical limerick about Sarah the Elementary school teacher found Sarah writing a Blog about her teaching abilities.  But somehow the lure of more money on the internet brought Sarah to the tawdry exploits of sitting in front of a camera wearing only fishnet stockings.  (Hey, it’s someone’s fantasy… )
Jim, Tim, Frank and Jessica perform "Director"
“Director” was up next with Frank as the director, and Jim, Jessica, and Tim supplying the acting talent.  In this scene, when the director didn’t like what he is seeing, he tried to guide his little group of thespians toward a scene worthy of opening on stage. In the play entitled “Rocking Dinosaurs”, Frank subjected Jessica to being more like Kim Kardashian, and even David Hasslehoff, while Tim was forced into Ray Lewis and Samuel L Jackson personas.  Jim was lucky(?) enough to draw Mani T’eo and John Stamos, and then was given the trifecta of finishing the entire scene by himself as Cookie Monster, Keanu Reeves, and Nicholas Cage.
Jim and Jessica in "Shakespeare Alphabet"
Neal, Jessica, and Jim took on “Shakespeare Alphabet”.  In this old world tale, the audience provided the suggestion of shoemaker.  Neal, wanting only to please his Lady Jessica, provided her with the most beautiful of footwear.  But Lady Jessica harbored a bit of diva, and wanted not only to attract to her love, Sir Galahad, with her dainty slippers, she wanted her knight in shining armor to literally and proverbially to kiss her feet.
Jim and Tim in "That Sounds Lie A Song"
In the second set, Jim, Tim, and Neal were cast for “That Sounds Like A Song”. In this musically inspired scene about Camp Counselors Neal and Jim are wary to allow Tim to be on their kickball team.  The twist in this game was that the host, Vlad, at any time, could freeze the scene, and direct the actors to continue their dialog in song.  In Neal’s ballad of “He Can’t Be Too Bad” Neal admits his reservations to letting a loser like Tim be on the team.  Tim’s rap, “Give Me A Strike” countered Neal, showing that Tim might just be that diamond in the rough.  Counselor Jim confirmed Tim’s spot on the kickball team in his pop song “I Know That You Can Do This”…  (and people wonder why camp counselors are creepy?)
Jessica and The Bit Players "Serenade" Lauren
Scouring the audience for celebrants, the Bit Players found financial analyst/program manager, Lauren, celebrating her ½ birthday with her boyfriend, Sean and her Big Ole Badass Cat Wrestler, brother Brian.  Lauren was called to the stage and was “Serenaded” by the Bit Players for her very un-birthday.
Saturday’s shows, by contrast, were fast and furious, with a whole boatload of inappropriateness.  Frank took over the hosting duties, and he and Vlad were joined by Dylan Eberle, Matt Lindman, Stephanie Conrad, and Lobo Linhares.
The Bit Players perform "Story, Story, Die!"
Starting the 8:00pm show off with a bang (screw, pork, thrust or any other euphemism for sex), the Bit Players performed “Story, Story Die!”  In this bit, the players told a continued story, each adding on where the other left off.  Vlad who directed the bit could “kill off” any player who he didn’t like.  Amazingly, in the telling of this story about “Beverly and her adventures in Las Vegas”, no Bits were harmed.  And Beverly, the heroine of the story, triumphantly exclaims to the villainess, Stephanie, “I got you now, bitch!”
In Saturday’s rendition of “Irish Drinking Song” about Lizzy the Vampire Slayer, Frank Dylan, Matt, and Lobo concocted a wild story.  In the musical story, Lizzy eventually concedes and asks the Wolf for help to defeat the vampires.  The wolf makes the pact, but only if Lizzy agrees to do it with him, doggy style. (Yes, they went there!)
Vlad performs in "Good Morning"
Vlad attempted to bring calm to the stage with his mime piece, “Good Morning”.  In this bit Vlad takes suggestions of items commonly used during one’s morning routine. Vlad (accompanied by Frank’s sound effects) then takes the items and creates a world in which he not only interacts with the items, the items also interact with Vlad.
“Doo Wop” was added to the Saturday’s set list.  In this bit, the players sing about their love for an audience suggested item.   The first of the night’s birthday celebrants, John was asked what object that he wanted most for his birthday.  John, pretending to be a modest man, said that he wanted only peace and tranquility.  Well, News Flash, John!  Wake up and smell reality.  The Bit Players asked YOU for an OBJECT!  Finally, prying “New Car” from John’s limited knowledge of nouns in the English language, The Bit Players, with solos from Matt, Stephanie, Frank, and Dylan sang about a new car, that was eventually replaced with the Space Shuttle Endeavor.
Frank and Dylan in "Revolver"
“Revolver” was up next.  Directed by Vlad, the players, Frank, Dylan, Lobo, and Matt performed four separate scenes with each other, partnering in a square.  When Vlad got tired of the scene, he directed the players, rotating to the right or left.  Frank admittedly went to the land of inappropriateness with his play on the words; assiduous, deciduous, and conspicuous (Con-SPIC-U-ASS).  Yup, THAT really happened!
Stephanie, Frank, and Dylan in "Bartender"
In the second set of Saturday’s 8:00pm show, “Bartender” was on the docket.  Frank and Stephanie took the reins behind the bar, doling out musical advice to their patrons.  The patrons, Matt and Dylan were given problems, supplied by the audience, to which they shared with their bartenders in their own musical styling.  Matt given Nuclear Waste, intoned about having gone to Taco Bell and now has toxic waste coming out of his butt.  Stephanie provided some practical advice to just take some Immodium AD and his problem of pooping would be solved.  Dylan, well liked by the ladies in the back of the theater (more on them later), was given the problem of suffering from menopause.  From Dylan’s husky cougar voice ranting about opening a window because of his latest bout with hot flashes, to caressing his tender nipples and hitting on Frank, the audience could not stop laughing at Dylan’s antics.
Audience members, Stephanie and Jamie help
Frank and Dylan in "Tap the Audeince"
Another Birthday Girl, Stephanie, celebrating with her boyfriend Jamie, were called up to the stage to help out Dylan and Frank in “Tap the Audience”.  In this bit, when Dylan and Frank ran out of words to say, they tapped their audience member to fill in the blanks for them.  You might not want to travel by rail after witnessing this scene about train conductors.  Click here to watch the video -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKF9h0q9F9Q&feature=youtu.be
The Bit Players "Serenade" Ann for her 50th Birthday
This brings us to Ann, our 50 year old CAT scan technologist, proudly donning her bright pink “Birthday Bitch” sash, celebrating her day with The Bit Players.  Yes the cougar party in the rear of the theater were on the prowl, and their leader Ann was called to the stage to not only be “Serenaded” by the players, she was also given a very special birthday movie shown on the Firehouse Theater’s BIG screen, arranged in advance by Ann’s fellow cougarettes.  (The Energizer Bunny must have been busy for these ladies on Saturday night!)
The Bit Players perform "Jeopardy"
Since the evening antics were flying by at breakneck speed, The Bit Players added in an old favorite bit, “Jeopardy”.  In this bit, unlike in the hit game show of the same name,  the players are the contestants and the audience is the board.  On this night we got to delve into the dark seedy underbelly of our players psyches.  From Dylan’s response to Woman’s Suffrage as something he petitioned to end, to Stephanie’s admission of being arrested for potato battery.  But the proverbial cherry on the whipped topping of off-color jokes was Lobo’s response, in the form of a question, to Aspergers; “What goes great with Cock Fries”.  ( Come on, use that little brain of yours.  You’ll get it… (ASS-BURGERS)… Ahhhh, now the light bulb came on didn’t it?)
The Bit Players ended Saturday’s 8:00pm show with a “Blues Song” entitled The Kardashian Blues.  Vlad surprised everyone with his very appropriate rhyme with his being a comedian to their being Armenian.  And he says English is his second language…  (Not too shabby, Vladdy!)
So we move on to late night with The Bit Players.  The 10:00pm show.  Yes, The Players give their fans what they want.  The Bit Players stayed to perform to those who did not have the foresight to call early enough to get on the 8:00pm reservation list before it was sold out…  (Dumb Asses)
The third time is always a charm (maybe even as in lucky charms – for one audience member anyway) as the Bit Players once more performed “Irish Drinking Song”  In this version, Andrew, a novel writer for young adults was given a  special gift of seeing his life played out as a musical ditty by Stephanie, Frank, Dylan, and Matt.  It might not have been what Andrew expected with book burnings and other unsavory escapades, but Andrew may have been given the title of the sequel for his next book, or at least the image on the jacket cover; “A Dick Taking A Piss”…  (Really… I’m not making this shit up.  But The Bit Players did though.)


The Bit Players in "Musical Fairytale"

“Musical Fairytale” was on tap in the late night show.  In this fairytale about Little red Riding Hood, the Bits tell their version of what happened.  And yeah, this is not your grandmother’s fairytale… Oh NO!  In this version the wolf is actually Taylor Lautner who has resurrected his career, and Red Riding Hood is actually a middle-aged cougar who is chasing after the wolf.
Matt, Frank, and Stephanie in "That Sounds Like A Song"
“That Sounds Like A Song” was brought back in this encore show.  In this we see our actors, Matt, and Frank trying to raise a kid.  Matt musically laments that “Sometimes It Gets A Little Irritating” complaining about Frank’s lack of attention for the baby.  As Stephanie entered the scene as Clarissa the Nanny, Frank responded with his song,  “I’m Thinking About Banging Her”…  (Classy guy, ain’t he?)
The 10pm show ended with a “Hoe Down” about legalizing marijuana.  (What other trailer park notion would be more fitting, right?)


Special Announcment!!!

Valentine’s Day Special Package: Food & Funnies

The Bit Players, RI’s most award-winning comedy troupe, are partnering with local restaurants to create a “dinner & show” package for couples on Valentine’s Day that will fill bellies with delicious food and hearts with plenty of hilarious improv comedy.


 The Bit Players, named “Comedy Troupe of the Year” by Motif Magazine and “Best Comedy Night” by The Providence Phoenix, perform to sellout crowds all year long. This Valentine’s Day, Thursday, February 14 they will be hosting a special, one-night-only performance at 8:00PM. This performance will be held at the Firehouse Theater, home of The Bit Players. Tickets are $20 each but guests who wish to combine this show with dinner at one of the participating restaurants will get a special package rate on their tickets of $25 for two. The participating restaurants include Salvation Café and Yesterday’s, both located in close walking distance from the Firehouse Theater. At these well-known and highly regarded eating establishments guests will pay a flat rate and will order off of a special menu predetermined by the individual restaurants. The Firehouse also offers soft drinks, water, tea, and hot chocolate included with the price of admission and guests are always welcome to bring their own beverages as well.
The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Friday, January 18th and Saturday, January 19th

There is something magical that happens when a small theater, just “off Broadway” is filled to capacity, the lights go out and collective voices are heard just beyond the large red door, booming out the words… “Please, put your hands together, and welcome to the stage, YOUR. BIT. PLAYERS!!” 
As the bright lights pierce the darkness, and a group of colorfully clad improvisers bound onto the stage, accompanied by a musical mélange, the small black box, that is the Firehouse Theater, comes alive and buzzes almost palpably.  Viewers cannot help but be enthralled by the electricity pulsating through the musicians’ instruments and the mêlée that that is brought about by the audience suggestions. And on this weekend, framing the celebration of one this nation’s most notable visionaries, Dr Martin Luther King, the electricity in the house may have been even more energizing.
Friday night’s show was hosted by Vlad Tenenbaum.  Vlad was joined by fellow Bits, Frank Fusaro, Jim Foley, Neal Leaheey, Patrick Dugan, and Stephanie Conrad, accompanied by musicians, Chase Ceglie and Devon Mello.
Jim, Pat, and Frank in "Love Song"
In the lineup was “Love Song”, a bit where the players profess their love for a celebrity that is suggested by the audience.  Tonight’s love-fest was all about Mark Wahlberg.  From references to his former rap image as Marky Mark, and being Boston’s favorite son, to his success as an underwear model, and his roles in The Departed and more recently, in Ted, Jim, Frank, and Pat hit on just about all the noteworthy accomplishments of Mark Wahlberg, in this love song, sang in his honor.
Pat, Neal, Frank, and Jim in "Irish Drinking Song"
In the little ditty, “Irish Drinking Song”, Jim, Frank, Neal, and Pat performed this sonnet about Brad, the Banker.  Although it did not look good for Brad, being framed and arrested by the cops for embezzlement, which resulted in Brad to begging on the streets.  However, Brad gained his redemption and revenge as he ran for political office.
The first set on Friday ended in “Telethon”.  The Jazz Duo of Jim and Neal delighted the audience as they crooned about the Ice cream Man.  Stephanie and Patrick (aka RK Freezer Burn) went alternative in their ode to the frozen treat supplier.  And then it was frank who rounded out the set with his Gangstah Rap version for this frosty pleasure purveyor.
Jim & Neal (Jazz), Pat & Stephanie (Alternative), and Frank (Rap) perform in "Telethon"
Jim, Frank and Pat in "That Sounds Like A Song"
In Friday’s second set, Frank, Jim and Pat were firing on all cylinders in the bit, “That Sounds Like A Song”.  The audience provided exercise as the inspiration for this musically improvised scene.  Pat found himself on the outside looking into his own home, composing a dis-harmonious complaint against his former partner Jim.  Pat informed Jim that it was his house.  Jim countered with his tune about being kicked out, regaling Pat with the fact that he was taking all of this own stuff, including all of the Nicolas Sparks movies.  Frank added salt to Pat’s wound in a melody about never wanting to come to Pat’s stupid party anyway.
The Bit Players "Serenade" Katie for her Birthday
Briefly a Bit Player, Landscape Architect, Katie was called to the stage in honor of her Birthday.  Katie was not only subjected to a movie clip all about her and her boyfriend, and Boatwright, Chris  (which was shown on the BIG screen), Katie had to endure a “Serenade”  by the Bit Players as a tribute to the anniversary of her birth.
On Saturday, the 8:00pm show was completely SOLD out.  Therefore, as an added service to, and in appreciation for their fans, the Bit Players provided an additional 10:00pm offering.
The 8:00pm show had the familiar Friday night faces of Frank and Jim (with Frank taking over the hosting duties).  The two were joined by John Mulligan, Jessica Bradley, Dylan Eberle, and Clayon McFarlane, and a host of musicians from Chuck Malone’s Navy Band Northeast, joining Chase and adding to the musical underscore for the show.
Jim, John, and Jess in "Shakespeare Alphabet"
Jim, Jessica, and John (a triple “D” threat – not to be confused with  Food network's “Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives”) took on “Shakespeare Alphabet”.  In this classical adaptation, the players are subject to performing their dialog alphabetically, with each actor’s line beginning with the next consecutive letter.  The audience provided muse for the scene was “Royalty and Revenge”.  Watch to see what these three seasoned actors do with this alliterationally charged inspiration.  Click here to watch this bizarre scene ->

All of the Bit Players added their musical intonations, for “Doo Wop” with solos from Jim, Jess, Frank and Dylan in their ode to the American standard for slow cookers, the Crock Pot. 
Jim & Jess (Nala/Kim Kardashian) Dylan & John (Talking Heads), and Clayon & Frank w/ Club Anthem in "Telethon"
Like Friday, Saturday’s 8:00pm show’s first set ended with a “Telethon” . In this fictional fundraiser for the cause of left-handedness,  watch Jessica (as Nala) and Jim (as Kim Kardashian) sing a Disney-esque duet… with “everyone looking left”.  Dylan and John joined forces as “the Talking Heads”, and Frank and Clayon joined the fray with their Club Anthem duo.  Click here to see the Bit Players bring awareness to the cause with their celebrity characters ->
Mark is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players for his Birthday
In the second set, Birthday boy Mark was called to the stage to be “Serenaded” by the Bit Players.  Mark, who admitted that he worked in Information Storage Sales, was joined in his celebrations by his wife, and homemaker Kerry.  The 12-year, married couple were enjoying a night out without their two  (6 and 8 yo) children.  All of this fodder from this “foodie-duo” was used for an improvised song composed by the Bit Players , for Mark’s special day.
Frank and Jim as "News Anchors"
Debuting a brand new bit in their repertoire, “News Anchor”, Frank and Jim were joined by weatherman, Dylan, and sports anchor Clayon providing the play-by-play.  However, as in all of the bits, these players cannot do anything without a twist.  Anchorman, Jim was provided the suggestion of “going commando”, Dylan performed the weather forecast as 1990’s American Rap duo, Kriss Kross, and Clayon exposed his love for Frank during his sports coverage.
Saturday’s 8:00pm performance concluded with the Bit Players, being once again inspired by their audience, in true-to-life form, by singing  a “Blues Song” about alcohol.
All of the players from the 8:00pm show were back for an encore performance at 10:00pm and were once again joined by fellow Bit, and mime-extraordinaire, Vlad as well as Devon Mello on keyboards.
Vlad directs the Bit Players in "Story, Story, Die!"
Vlad jumped right in and directed the Bits in “Story, Story, Die!” at the top of the 10:00pm show.  In this bit, the players told a collective story, but were subjected to the fickle finger of Vlad.  Should Vlad not like where the story is going, or for any reason only known to him, Vlad may choose to shout, “DIE!” thus killing off the players, one by one.  And as Vlad admits, “This is honey to his Russian soul”.  In this night’s telling about Oliver and his adventures with cheese, we were taken to Oliver’s basement where we met Oliver’s cow Sandy, who had the odd ability to provide cheese, straight from her udders.  Not appreciated by her American compatriots, Oliver takes Sandy to France on a plane.  Unfortunately for Oliver and Sandy they are met by Samuel L Jackson, who in addition to not wanting snakes on his aircraft, Mr. Jackson provided (PG rated) expletives about removing cows from his plane.
The Bit Players perform "Superheroes"
 “Superheroes” a seldom played bit was resurrected from the Bit Player’s toy box.  In this bit each of the players are given a superpower by the superhero the preceded them on stage.  The audience provided the global catastrophe of “Body Odor” for which the superheroes powers were required.  First on the scene was Jim (Triangleman), who was met by Jessica (Amazing Hair Lady).  Vlad (Glitterman) soon followed, who introduced John (Fast-Talking Man).  Clayon (Upside-down belly-button boy) came to help out, followed by Frank (Decrepit man).  Last on the scene was Dylan (Christopher Walken-Bill Cosby Man) who led the superheroes in a plan to sold this foul odor plaguing the world.
Army soldier, Lydia is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players
Medivac Specialist, Army soldier, Lydia was called up on stage to be recognized for her service.  Daphne, was the little birdie who had tweeted in the Bit Players’ ear about her friend Lydia having just completed a tour in Afghanistan.  Lydia who lives and works in MD was here visiting with the (ex) friend and former co-worker, Daphne.  The Bit Players sang a “Serenade” in tribute to Lydia in recognition of her service and sacrifice for our country’s freedoms.
Dylan, Jess, and Vlad in "Visual Interpreter"
Vlad’s expertise was called upon in the bit “Visual Interpreter”.  Joined by resident expert, (on the audience supplied topic of Chupacabra), Dylan was interviewed by Jessica on the topic.  During the interview, Vlad provided the “interpretation” of the story.  If you were hearing impaired, Vlad’s  translation did not help you.  However, if you were amusement-impaired, you were in for treat as we learned about the Chupacabra and his penchant for terrorizing Mexican taco stands.
John, Jess, and Dylan perform "Ding"
Dylan,  John, and Jessica took on “Ding”.  In this bit, when buzzed the players must change their dialog continuously, until he/she is “dinged” , then that dialog becomes the reality.  In this scene we saw Dylan and Jessica travelling the streets of Italy when they are met by a shady Vespa dealer, John, who offers to take them anywhere they want to go.  This Vespa has unique qualities as it is able to travel under water, bringing the couple to an unexpected crossroads.  John propositioned Dylan (in more than one sense), and the two begin their new business venture as underwater waffle makers.
Vlad in "Good Morning!"
Vlad, once again offered his proficiency in mime on the stage in the bit “Good Morning”.  In this bit, Vlad not only interacted with audience supplied items, he BECAME them (with Frank providing the sound effects).  The audience delighted in watching Vlad as he brought to life such common items as an electric toothbrush, and alarm clock, a pillow, underwear, a curling iron, a toilet, a microwave, and a coffee pot.
The Bit Players finished their encore 10:00pm performance with the “Former Pop-Star Blues Song”.
From Birthdays, Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties, Anniversaries and even marriage proposals, want to arrange a unique event for someone special?  Why not show your love or appreciation for that certain someone, LIVE onstage!  Bring your friend or loved one to the Bit Players show, and celebrate in a one-of-a-kind way.  Contact the theater for information on how we can help you plan and make your event special!
The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Friday, January 11th and Saturday, January 12th

 The French novelist, Alphonse Karr was quoted, “The more things change, the more they remain the same”.  I think Alphonse may have been to a few, recent Bit Player’s shows.  No other quote more eloquently sums up this weekend‘s performances.  With the return of our Jack Wills crew, especially our friends Will and Olivia, who are now a COUPLE,  the Bit Players donning Jack Wills’ FEMALE underwear OVER their clothes,  lots of familiar returning audience members, and oodles of awesome improv  comedy provided by the players…  Yes, the more things change, the more they stay the same, but in a GOOD way!
On Friday, the show was hosted by Frank Fusaro.  Joining Frank on stage were Vlad Tenenbaum, Jim Foley, Neal Leaheey, and Patrick Dugan with musical accompaniment provided by Chase Ceglie and Devon Mello.
First up was the bit, “Story, Story, Die!” The Bit Players must tell a collective story from the items provided  by the audience.  Tonight the audience inspired items (Geraldo, a pineapple, and Naval Station Newport), were so très Newport.  In the story we learned about Geraldo’s adventures of being deployed, and it was his trusty can of pineapple that saved his life, protecting him from enemy bullets.
Vlad in "Art Class"
Vlad’s amazing mime skills wowed the crowds in his piece “Art Class”.  In this bit, Vlad drew random shapes on a piece of paper and had the audience interpret what they saw in the shapes.  Vlad then had to recreate through the use of his body and mime the list of items provided by the audience from the random set of doodles.  Tonight, Vlad created a mime piece which incorporated a dinosaur, an eagle, leg warmers, a magic staff, yarn, and toothpaste.
Jim, Pat, and Frank in "Love Song"


With Valentine’s Day soon approaching, Frank, Jim and Pat performed “Love Song”.  In this bit the players are provided a famous person to which they had to compose an improvised song professing their love.  Tonight’s song all about Taylor Swift, was a hit with the crowd.  Watch this video to see how the boys really feel about her… Click here ->  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2OElwLXHO4&feature=youtu.be

Vlad and Frank as "Bartenders" with Neal, Pat, and Jim as patrons
The Bit Players finished off Friday night’s first set with their signature bit, “Bartender”.  Tonight manning the bar with their musical versions of advice and psychotherapy were Frank and Vlad.  Bringing to the bar their audience selected crisis du jour were Neal, who hated/loved/lusted after his boss.  Frank’s misogynistic response was for Neal to climb the ladder of success, while his current boss is at her glass ceiling.  When Neal is then her boss he could do whatever he wanted to her.  Pat who lost his passport and couldn’t go back to his country of origin, was reunited in song, with his proud papa, Vlad.  Finally, Jim admitted that he lost his “party pants” only to be regaled by Frank who not only gave him some very personal grooming tips, but declared that they were once again bringing up the topic of the Jack Wills underwear in yet another show.
The Bit Players in their party pants,  perform "Blind Freeze"
Not to let a good gag go unexploited, the Bit Players entered the theater after the intermission break, all wearing Jack Wills women’s underwear (Thankfully OVER their clothes).  The audience exploded in laughter, especially as they continued the top of the show still donning their female undergarments.

Vlad and Neal as "Stunt Doubles"
In “Stunt Doubles” Patrick and Jim portrayed Lunch Ladies.  In this bit whenever Patrick or Jim do not want to perform a particular movement or task, in true actor’s prima-donna fashion they call on their doubles (played by Vlad and Neal).  Vlad an Neal must perform in the most trivial of tasks, but with their own interpretation.  Vlad and Neal not only had to make and plate the meatloaf, they had to hand-feed the children.  And when things went awry, as Patrick lie on the floor, helpless from an attack by the children, Vlad was forced to blow-up his fellow Lunch Lady, literally… as she floated off into the sunset.
Will & Olivia are "Serenaded" by The Bit Players
Since the Jack Wills crew was in the house, it was only fitting to bring two of their clan up onto the stage for a “Serenade”.  When we all last saw our clandestine duo Will and Olivia, they were leaving their jobs for the summer.  Now, not only have they returned to the area, they are now a couple! (after many unsuccessful tries by Will). We learned of Will’ interest in wind-suiting (base-jumping) and Olivia’s desire to become a party planner, and the Bit Players honored them in a Welcome Back song, improvised just for them (or their new identity as – Will-livia).
On Saturday Vlad took up the hosting duties, and returning with him were Jim, Neal, and Patrick.  Also joining this motley Bits crew tonight were Clayon McFarlane and Tim Bric to round out the cast.
In “Ding” Pat and Neal took to the skies as pilots, and Vlad (much like a traffic controller) was directing them.  In this bit, the players are subject to Vlad buzzing out their dialog.  At the sound of the buzzer, the bits must come up with new dialog or actions that become the new reality within the scene. A nervous Neal was being coached by the experienced piloting skills of Pat in the scene.  Neal may have found it difficult to gain confidence under Pat’s tutelage, however. Pat provided unclear guidance to Neal’s blunder of hitting the switch that released the oxygen masks declaring to Neal that that happens on Delta at least five times a week.  Pat’s leadership was soon coming to an end, as Pat declared that this was his final flight because he was quitting to join the Communist Party.  (side note* After the scene ended Vlad was heard telling Pat that he was not only proud of him, but that it was fitting since Pat was wearing Red).
Jim, Clayon, and Tim
 in "Good Cop / Bad Cop"
“Good Cop / Bad Cop” found Clayon as the perpetrator to the dastardly crime (provided by the audience) of killing Mike Tyson with a yard flamingo, at Burger King.  Our cops, Jim and Tim provided clues which led our lawbreaker to confess to the crime.  While Clayon was somewhat versed in his bad-boy boxers, and got the Tyson reference relatively quickly, he stumbled a bit on the flamingo.  (I guess they didn’t have many uses for such faux tropical birds in his native Jamaica).
Neal and Jim as "Bartenders" with Pat, Tim, and Clayon as patrons
Much like Friday, the Bit Players decided to finish off the first set with Bartender.  Tonight it was Jim and Neal behind the bar with Pat, Tim, and Clayon as the patrons.  A wayward traveler Pat, admitted to Neal that he didn’t like the food (in England) while on his travels. Neal aptly responded that yes, Scotch Eggs and Toad in the Hole are pretty gross but no matter where in the world you go, you can find McDonald’s anywhere.  The audience went wild with Tim’s musical rendition of his torn Pokémon cards, ruined by his brother.  Jim’s equally clever composition posited that Tim being 30 years old should give up on the cards and do what other man-children do, just sit around and  watch football.  Clayon concluded the trio of quandaries with his sweet falsetto song about his Mommy leaving him.  Countering Clayon, in falsetto tones, was Neal telling the young Clayon to “get a wife”.


The highlight of Saturday’s performance was undoubtedly “That Sounds Like A Song”.  In this musical bit, Jim, Tim, and Clayon perform a scene inspired by an audience suggestion.  Tonight the crowd offered “A Sinking Ship”.  The players performed the scene but were subjected to Vlad stopping them, and interjecting “That sounds like a song” to which the players must them perform their next dialog in song.  Watch to see what happened in this bit. Click here to watch this hilarious scene ->  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q16vUIGYuj4&feature=youtu.be
 
Michelle is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players for her birthday
Michelle, celebrating her birthday, was called up to the stage for tonight’s “Serenade”. We learned that Michelle a career counselor, was engaged to John (who works with e-learning – if you can call that a job).  Vlad suggested that Michelle think about having her Bachelorette Party here at the Firehouse.  To which Michelle responded that she would love that!  (Get on it Bachelorettes!!)  Michelle enjoys singing, while John enjoys snowboarding. With all of that for fun fodder, the Bit Players improvised a song for Michelle in tribute to her Birthday.
Pamela and James help out Pat and Tim in "Puppets"
Pamela and James were called to the stage to help out in a bit called “Puppets”.  In this bit Pamela and James were the puppeteers and had a little fun posing Tim and Patrick in odd ways.  In their positions, Patrick and Tim had to make sense of their pose within the context of the scene about nurses.
The audience was indeed saddened to see the performances come to an end.  The Bit Players too are always disheartened to see their night of zaniness and entertainment for their fans conclude, and so, fittingly, Saturday night ended with a “Blues Song” about Bad Hair.
Special Note*  All of he pictures used in this week’s blog were taken by Lisa Pasonelli.
Stay tuned for some exciting news about a special Bit Player’s Valentine’s Day performance.  The announcement is coming soon.  Make plans for a special night out with your sweetheart, and have some laughs with the Bit Players!  (After all – laughter is the BEST aphrodisiac!)
From Birthdays, Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties, Anniversaries and even marriage proposals, want to arrange a unique event for someone special?  Why not show your love or appreciation for that certain someone, LIVE onstage!  Bring your friend or loved one to the Bit Players show, and celebrate in a one-of-a-kind way.  Contact the theater for information on how we can help you plan and make your event special!
The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!

Monday, January 7, 2013

Friday, January 4th and Saturday, January 5th

Happy New Year!!!

Yes, it’s been a while since this blog has been updated, but that doesn’t mean that the Bit Players were not producing some seriously amazing shows over the holiday season.  Audiences were treated with new bits like Santa’s Lap and Blank the Blankety Blank, as well as the seasonal favorite bit, Scrooge.  The crowds also flocked to the Firehouse Theater for “Family Friendly” shows throughout Christmas week as well as a phenomenal THREE New Years Eve Shows, complete with all of the New Year’s Eve fanfare and party accoutrements.
So… with a week into the New Year, the question begs to be asked… How many of YOUR resolutions have already been broken?  If one of your resolutions was to see more Bit Players shows, here is some Good News!  Even if you cannot make it to the Firehouse Theater, you can watch all our shows ONLINE!  Go to  http://www.ustream.tv/channel/bitplayers each and every Friday and Saturday night.  When the shows go live, so does our stream!  After all, the Bit Players not only want to make their fans happy, they want to make them psychologically healthy too by offering new ways to keep them laughing in the New Year!
And speaking of New Year’s resolutions, if you, like me, are embarking on yet another diet/healthy eating regimen, and if you attended Friday night’s Bit Players performance, you may have been seriously “tested” with the shows ever-present reminders of food.  With Vlad Tenenbaum as the host, and an extended cast of Frank Fusaro, Matt Lindman, Stephanie Conrad, Jim Foley, Patrick Dugan, and Lobo Linhares, accompanied by musicians, Chase Ceglie and Devon Mello, the audience was in for quite a “Treat”.
Frank, Stephanie and Jim remain in "Story, Story, Die!"

Beginning with Jose’ s Adventures in Taco Bell from the bit, “Story, Story, Die”,  we learned from the entire Bit Players  cast about the new Coconut taco craze.  However when the supply of these delectable treats could not meet the demand, a rebellion ensued with rioting in the streets.  However the quick witted action of Jose’ of using shredded paper in the place of the scarce coconut ingredient quelled the unrest, and all was right with the world.
Pat, Stephanie and Matt perform "Doo Run"
Next up was “Doo Run” performed by Stephanie, Matt, and Pat which entertained food service in a high flying manner.  This improvised musical bit was inspired by Eddie the food caterer for planes.  (Do they even serve food on airplanes anymore?  I was even hard pressed to score some peanuts on my flight!)
From food to drink, “Irish Drinking Song” is always a favorite at the Firehouse.   Stephanie, Matt, Frank, and Lobo were up for this musical ditty where we learned of the antics of Jason the traveler (Not to be confused with Gozer from Ghostbusters).   Enroute to Toronto, Jason is in search of Canadian beaver, and is thrown in jail for drinking in the street.  All ends well though, for Jason as he finds a friend in jail and they travel around in a Mercedes Benz.
The Bit Players perform "Doo Wop"
With the audience suggested item of sexy underwear, “Doo Wop” had everyone in stitches.  With solos from Jim, Stephanie, and Frank, it was Matt who wrapped up the improvised 50’s styled song exclaiming that people would “holler and hoot” replacing the sexy underwear with his “Birthday suit”.  (If that visual in your brain doesn’t inspire you to go to the gym, I don’t know what will).

Pat and Lobo (Grunge Duo), Matt and Stephanie( Opera/Country) and Frank and Jim perform as 'NSYNC in "Telethon"
The first set ended with a “Telethon” for the fictional cause of Lactose Intolerance.  Vlad introduced the talent who offered to raise the awareness for this plight.  First up we had Lobo and Pat performing as the duo Grunge group “Milk Fart”, followed by an interesting Country/Opera pairing of Stephanie and Matt.  Finally it was Jim and Frank performing as two of the members of the boy band, ‘NSYNC.  (Joey Fatone and Justin Timberlake eat your heart out).
The second set for Friday was equally phenomenal.  With audience energy at full throttle, the Bit Players continued to push pedal to the medal.
Frank, Matt, and Pat in "That Sounds Like A Song"
In a stellar performance of “That Sounds Like A Song” Frank, Pat, and Matt, playing good friends who come to an impasse, when one of them (Frank) is tricked into getting married by his Slovakinian internet bride-to-be.  Frank bemoans his luck and his apprehension at being the “anchor” for this green-card seeking girl. Able to speak Slovakinian, Pat provides a solution to the problem.  Pat admits his loneliness to his friends and offers to trade places with Frank and marry the girl.  As a crazy scientist, Matt reveals a plan to his friends that he has the technology to physically remove their faces and switch them on the other’s skulls (akin to the Travolta/Cage movie, Faceoff of the 90’s).  You have to see this video to appreciate the evolution of this story.  Click here to watch -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrEKReKm6lQ  Also check out the related image on our Facebook page:  http://www.facebook.com/BitPlayers#!/photo.php?fbid=437621709626637&set=a.211075865614557.65110.210962915625852&type=1&theater
Birthday Girl, Dana is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players
The Bit Players had some fun with Birthday Girl, Dana who was called to the stagefor a “Serenade”  in tribute to her special day.  Fittingly for this show, Dana is a Dietician hailing from Narragansett.  Her boyfriend, Josh also in the attendance was good naturedly jibed for his job of being a Tug Boat Captain.  The Bit Players created an improvised song in celebration of Dana’s day, completing the roast of the couple by suggesting that people from Narragansett were just as classy as the beer.
The Bit Players sing "The Blues"
The show ended in Bit Players fashion with a “Blues Song” from an audience suggested topic  about  Childhood toys.  Although Jim may have finally found Waldo, and Stephanie may have been disgruntled with her parents for her Speak & Spell, telling them to “Go to Hell”, Pat, working for an insurance company had an ingenious proposition for his firm to bring back the pogo stick.  Matt sang a tale of woe over his magic eight ball yoyo and it’s snapped string, but now has the time to spend with his new friends, the boozy hoes from Narragansett.  Frank on the other hand has given up on video games and now occupies his time, alone… with his new favorite toy… But we’ll leave that up to your imagination if you weren’t  in attendance for Friday’s show to hear what it is.  If you were, then….. you KNOW (and I’m sorry!)
Saturday’s show offered just as much fun and wackiness as Friday.  Taking over the hosting duties for the night was Frank, joined by Vlad and other members of the troupe, Anna Smith, Neal Leaheey, Clayon McFarlane, and Jessica Bradley.

Neal and Jessica in "Shakespeare Alphabet"
Where one man’s meat is another man’s poison, we saw this all too clearly in the bit, “Shakespeare Alphabet” starring Neal Leaheey and Jessica Bradley.  In this alphabetically controlled scene about murder and royalty, Jessica tried to outsmart her murderous brother, Neal’s treachery and poison him instead of the intended target.  In the end Jessica manages her own duplicity and applies the toxin to her brother, taking the reign of their kingdom for herself.
Frank, Clayon, and Anna perform in "Good Cop / Bad Cop"
In the next bit “Good Cop / Bad Cop”, Anna and Frank took on the roles as the law enforcement, with Clayon as the perpetrator.  Anna and Frank had the audience snorting in laugher as they supplied clues of the audience crime to which Clayon had to confess.  Although Clayon nailed his immediate confession to killing Al Pacino with only frank having to mention his Italian roots, Clayon scurried a little off target with Lobstah (pronounced as it is written if you are a native New Englander), and then completely stumbled on the location of the crime being Frank’s bed.  (But who wouldn’t be confused if Frank provided YOU with a clue of it being a place that has a lot of action? Not to mention that Anna had been there.  We all know Anna has standards after all. )
Audience member, PJ is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players
The Bit Players completely caught audience member PJ off guard by inviting her to the stage for a “Serenade”.  Jr College Math teacher PJ, from St Louis, vacationing and visiting with her grade school gal-pal, Amy was the topic of tonight’s improvised song.  We learned that although PJ was married to Mechanical Engineer, Randy, this was strictly a girl’s only weekend, leaving Randy back at home.
Vlad and Jessica in Half-Life
The seldom played bit, “Half-Life” was un-shelved for tonight’s show.  In this bit the players recreate a fairytale chosen by the audience.   For tonight it was Sleeping Beauty.  The catch however, is that they must recreate the scene over and over in increasingly smaller amounts of time, from one minute, all the way down to one second.  The audience loved the frenetic pace and the torture put on them by the bit’s host, Frank.
Vlad and Frank as "Bartenders" and Jessica and Clayon as patrons, with Anna also joining in the fray
“Bartender” a bit that normally caps off the first set was changed around and inserted into the second set of the night.  In this scene, Frank and Vlad, the bar’s defacto counselors, not only sit in session to hear the musical declarations of their bar’s patrons, they also provide them with musical guidance to their patron’s problems.  Tonight saw Jessica forgetting her pants to which Vlad advised to her become a stripper.  Clayon’s problem was a little more sensitive in that he was stalking his neighbor due to his inability to profess his love to her directly.  Frank, the eternal match-maker, not only provided compassion to his wayward friend, he took control and introduced Clayon to a very violated Anna, the subject of Clayon’s pursuits.
Anna and Frank star in "Ding"
“Ding” was probably the audience’s favorite bit of the night.  In this bit the actors, Anna and Frank are subject to the fickle bell of host Vlad.  If Vlad doesn’t like where the scene is going he can “buzz” and the actors must come up with completely new dialog.  If Vlad “dings” then that becomes the new reality within the scene.  In this scene Frank and Anna are Athletic Directors.  Watch the video to see the events that unfold in this zany situation.  Click here to view this hilarious video ->  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UYrmpKv4fk&feature=youtu.be
Anna joined by her fellow bits sings "Blues Song"
The night ended with the musically improvised “Blues Song” appropriately for the New Year, about new born babies… with the catchy  chorus of…  “I’ve got the low-down dirty,  new born baby blues…”
From Birthdays, Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties, Anniversaries and even marriage proposals, want to arrange a unique event for someone special?  Why not show your love or appreciation for that certain someone, LIVE onstage!  Bring your friend or loved one to the Bit Players show, and celebrate in a one-of-a-kind way.  Contact the theater for information on how we can help you plan and make your event special!
The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!