Friday, June 8th and Saturday, June 9th 2012

It was a week full of disappointments as “I’ll Have Another” was scratched from his entry in his bid for the third leg of the triple crown, my Keurig died a terrible death, and the Celtics… (need I say more??).  Like so many of the disillusioned wandering the streets of Newport,  I too was looking for an escape from reality during the weekend.  What better place to enter the world of the bizarre than the Firehouse Theatre and home to the Bit Players.  Little did I know that plan to escape reality would be knocked on its ear. (Geez, that sounds like Film Noir!)

Frank Fusaro, Neal Leaheey, and Dylan Eberle
in "Good Cop / Bad Cop"

The Friday night, capacity crowd was rowdy and offering some great suggestions as the Bit Players rolled through their sets.  In “Good Cop/Bad Cop”, Frank Fusaro and Dylan Eberle playing the role of the law enforcers,  interrogated Neal Leaheey, prodding this perpetrator to confess to the crime’s details submitted by the audience.  The crowd erupted with laughter and applause as Neal finally admitted to killing Ivan Drago (The villain of Rocky IV), with a Pregancy Test, in the Ninja Turtle Lair.

Michael "Biggie" Morgan of MTV's, The Pauly D Project
is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

 In a huge surprise of the night, (and I do mean HUGE), the Bit Players called to the stage Michael “Biggie” Morgan of the “Pauly D Project”… Yeah, talk about escaping reality here!  Biggie was a great sport as the Bit Players “Serenaded” him with lots of good natured ribbing about his Reality TV show and his recent engagement.  (Click on the link to watch the video and see what happened… -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ3JL34obGE&feature=plcp) 

The night was jam-packed with so many zany moments like in “Radio Show” where we listened to Dylan narrate Episode 14, part 2 of “Boris and His Pogo stick”.  In this episode our hero, Boris traversed a great canyon accompanied by his love interest Victoria and challenged by his rival, Duke Derrick. Other characters made cameo appearances like the priest who attempted Last Rites, and the Indian Shaman who saved Boris. 

Dylan and Frank commentate
In "Sportcasters" as
Vlad and Matt perform their sport.

The Bit Players in "Mini-Musical"

In “Sports Casters” we watched as Frank and Dylan provided commentary on the “Ironing Bowl 2012” where Michael O’Malley, from Northern Ireland (played by Matt Lindman), and Lucy Leslie (Played by Vlad Tenenbaum) compete to the death in this ironing Olympic sport.   

There was also “Mini-Musical” about “Crazy Steve and the Hat Factory” and the creation of Meat Hats? (ewwww!!)  I’m not sure if the audience was squirming in their seats from repulsion or absurdity of the idea of Meat Hats, but it’s not a scene they will soon forget! 

And finally finishing off Friday night with a “Blues Song”, the audience delighted in the  singing of the “Curt Schilling Blues”.

Matt and John perform in "Sportcasters"

On Saturday, the theatre was again at capacity, and the energy was running high.  Due to its popularity, The Bit Players reprised the game “Sportscasters”.  With Chet and Chip our commentators (played by Frank and Dylan) we witnessed the “Cat Ball Bowl” where we saw Sophia (played by Matt) a spinster woman with 47 cats, living in her parents basement, and Raven (played by John Mulligan) a rookie to the Cat Ball Bowl,  go head-to-head in this sport of cat feeding.  Not only did we witness carnage on the stage, the audience was given an up-close, 3-D version, as Matt and John came out into the crowd and performed their antics.  The crowd loved John’s energy and were heard commenting about John’s likeness to the creepy brother from Wedding Crashers! (Click the link to view the video ->  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAwXTY66Zf0&feature=plcp )

Brittany Hunt, Matt Lindman, Frank Fusaro are the Bachellors
in the "Dating Game" with Stephanie Conrad and Host John Mulligan

John kept it going in his hosting of “The Dating Game” as Stephanie Conrad, our dater, was looking for love with one of the three illegible bachelors, played by Frank (who was reliving Fight Club), Matt (The Super Hero with extra-large earlobes) and Brittany Hunt(Octo-mom).  John in his role as host, could not be contained, as his self-deprecating character not only kept the quirky bachelors at bay, John helped Stephanie find a date with Robert Paulson of Fight Club.

Bachellorette, Elizabeth is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

Bachelorette, Elizabeth got a call to the stage for a “Serenade” where the Bit Players had a little fun with this “slightly intoxicated” participant.  Along with Lizzy, the audience was the recipient of a call-back of a previously suggested item, the “hand-beater”, the weapon du jour in this evening’s performance of “Good Cop / Bad Cop”, and a second reference to “Crack-juana” that John exploited in “Jeopardy”.  Good sport, Lizzy played along with the Bit Players' abuse during her Serenade, but did she remember it in the morning? Hmmmmmm???

Dylan and Frank with Girl Scouts, Emily & Rachel
in "Tap The Audience"

The third time is always a charm (or was it??) as both the crack-juana reference and the hand-beater were brought back during “Tap The Audience” with our Girl Scouts,  Emily and Rachel providing the additional dialog (or in this case laughter).  Frank was on his own “high” in this scene with Dylan, as the two attempted to grow body parts, but ended up  having a really bad case of the munchies.  However, the scene ended up on moral high ground with a caution to all parents for their children not to do crack-juana.

The sold out Saturday 8:00pm show prompted the theatre to offer a late night 10pm show.



Matt, John, Dylan, and Vlad
in "Story, Story, Die!"



At the top of the late night show, in “Story, Story, Die!”, Bit Player bodies littered the stage as host, Vlad Tenenbaum killed off the players who bored him or hesitated in the story of “Ben’s Handbasket”

Vlad, Matt, and Dylan
in "Epic Poem"



Vlad and John perform "Location, Career, Death"

Lucky audience member, Jenna was the recipient of an “Epic Poem” about being a maternity nurse, which was performed by Vlad, Matt, and Dylan.

The late night crowd loved (loved, loved!)  John and Vlad in “Location, Career, Death” (also known as Broken Telephone) as Vlad mimed the audience suggestions of a Gay Bar as the location, the career of a Retired Wrestler, and a stinky shoe as the object in which John was to kill Vlad.

Another lucky couple (Nick and Bri, serving in the Army and Navy respectively) received a gift from the Bits by being the subjects for a “Doo Run Song”, performed by John, Dylan, and Stephanie.

Bringing Saturday night to a close, The Bit Players finished with a “Hoe Down”.  The audience suggestion of boating was a fitting end to a weekend in Newport and back to reality. 

Special Note and Correction:  The Bit Players will be performing at the Providence Improv Fest (PIF) 2012 on Wednesday, June 13^th at 9:00pm at 95 Empire Street, Providence, RI (formerly the Perishable Theatre) for more information go to the website: http://providenceimprovfest.com/showgroup.php?groupid=3

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations   

     401-849-FIRE (3473) 

And as always, it is BYOB!

The Bit Players WIN!

Thanks to all of the support from our faithful fans, The Bit Players continue to be the Premier Improv Troupe in Rhode Island, winning Motif Magazine's "Comedy Troupe of the Year" Award for 2012!

Come check up on us and see what the buzz is all about. 

Please call to make reservations, we do sell out!

The Firehouse Theatre (HOME OF THE BIT PLAYERS)

4 Equality Park Place

Newport, RI  02840

401-849-FIRE (3473)

http://www.firehousetheater.org/

Friday, June 1st and Saturday, June 2nd 2012



Stephanie Conrad on guitar and Jim Foley on keyboard

provide the musical improv accompaniment for Friday's show



Frank Fusaro, Neal Leaheey
and Dylan Eberle in "Good Cop / Bad Cop"

With summer quickly approaching, the Bit Players switched things up a bit during the Friday night performance.  Jim Foley and Stephanie Conrad manned the musical instruments, with Jim at the keyboard and Stephanie on guitar.  Everyone delighted in the two’s playing of the “Law & Order” theme song when Neal Leaheey (the perpetrator) entered the room to start off “Good Cop / Bad Cop” where Frank Fusaro and Dylan Eberle (the cops), eagerly  grilled Neal toward a confession. As Neal stumbled on the last clue, the game was peppered with  hints  like Dylan’s “The touch, the feel of cotton[…] of our lives”  and Frank’s “Swing Low Sweet Chariot” until Neal finally confessed to the crime of killing Edgar Allen Poe, with a hearing aid, in the Underground Railroad.

In “Genres”, Dylan and John Mulligan took us all on a strange adventure into the world of “sexting”.  Who knew that a Wookie would be jealous when left out of the sexting loop?  Watch what happened in this video clip -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpEgJdGU868

Anna Smith, Frank Fusaro
and Dylan Eberle sing a
"Doo Run" song

Vlad Tenenbaum and
Neal Leaheey in "Sportscasters"

Our first bachelorette of the night, Daniella from Quincy, marrying Joe the History Teacher, was the recipient of  a “Doo Run” song, performed by Frank, Dylan and Anna Smith.  There were plenty of wicked bad Baw’ston accents and dropped “R’s” to be had.

In “Sportscasters” the announcers, Frank and Dylan kept the New England accent alive in Mow Bowl 2012, as they introduced Marty O’Malley and Sully both hailing from “Southie”.  Marty played by Neal and Sully played by Vlad Tenenbaum were the contestants in the Mow Bowl where Marty and Sully  performed various mowing activities… Well that was until the competition got fierce and Marty mowed off a drunken Sully’s arms.

Ending the first set, with their signature bit, “Bartender”, The Bit Players proceeded on their journey toward crazy town. With Anna and Vlad behind the bar, Neal sang about the black and white evidence of the Xerox copy of his interoffice affair.  John crooned about “too much spice” and cooking, analogous with the country’s current political state. Dylan went to the dark side with his problem of “no new kids on the block” looking for children to satisfy his creepy obsession of stalking them.  Then, Frank sang of his wife “PAM” and her problem of “a yeast infection” and how his life as a gingerbread man was affected.  Bartender Vlad, saw no real problem with Frank’s dilemma because PAM’s yeast could endow the gingerbread man, giving “rise” to many good things.

Courtney is "Serenaded" by
The Bit Players

In the second set, after intermission, Courtney, our second bachelorette was invited up to the stage for a Bit Players “Serenade”.  Courtney, from Long Island, marrying John, both in marketing, met through a mutual friend named Pam.  This got a chuckle as the audience recalled the earlier PAM reference. 

Bringing Friday night to a close, The Bit Players finished with “Blues Song”.  The audience suggestion of the Queen’s Jubilee Blues paved the way for an amazing finish.  Watch the video to see what the audience was cheering about. 
Click here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoiImiiXFE4

Matt Lindman, Stephanie Conrad, Jim Foley
directed by Vlad Tenenbaum in "Story, Story, DIE!"



On Saturday, performing to another packed house, the Bit Players added a second show to accommodate their fans.  To start off the 8:00pm show, The Players began with “Story, Story Die”.  The story “The Ant Who Climbed Mt Everest” saw many Bits bodies littering the stage as Vlad picked them off one at a time, until the last Bit standing was Jim who finished the story of Roger the ant and his sidekick Kensington with their wolf carcasses, planted the ant flag, and declared victory for all ant kind.

“Doo Run Song” performed by Stephanie, Brittany Hunt, and Tim Bric brought back in the Saturday lineup for “The 2 Sues” in the audience.  Sue I and Sue II were aunt and niece.  The two Sue's enjoyed taking care of babies and reading stories.

"Art Class" performed by
Vlad Tenenbaum

Vlad once again showed why he is the consummate story-teller in “Art Class” as he took the audience suggestions of Wind, Blinds, Heartbreak, a Butt, and a Tattoo and wove a mimed tale of characters in a tattoo parlor.  Astounded by the performance, you could hear the audience interjecting comments and “ahh-ing” as Vlad moved from suggestion to suggestion.

The Bit Players "Serenade"
Anthony & Michelle Piccorello

Anthony and Michelle Piccorello, hailing from Framingham, MA and celebrating their 36^th wedding anniversary were called to the stage to be “Serenaded” Bit Players’ style. The Bits sang of  their 2 children graduating from BU, Anthony’s job with Chrysler,  and how the two did not hit it off when they met in that bar those many years ago.

Bachellorettes, Colleen and Jamie help
Matt Lindman and Jim Foley in "Tap The Audience"

With June being the month also known for weddings, it was no surprise that there were 2 more bachelorettes, (Colleen and Jamie) once again in the audience for Saurday's show.  Colleen and Jamie were called to the stage to help in a bit called “Tap The Audience” performed by Matt and Jim about an astronaut.



Saturday’s 10pm show brought back a Bit Player oldie.  As Matt and Jim told a story, Vlad sporadically interjected during their dialog, “That Sounds Like A Song”, and Matt and Jim had to finish their dialog,   about Food Shopping, in song.  The audience enjoyed Vlad’s torture of the players, but not as much as the signature line in the game, “Put it in your mouth and suck on it!”

Vlad Tenenbaum, Jim Foley, Matt Lindman,
Stephanie Conrad, and Birttany Hunt in "Bachelorette"

“Dating Game” renamed, “Bachelorette”  in honor of the girls who stayed to watch the 2^nd show, (or who may have been too inebriated to leave the theatre) involved all of the Bit Players.  Brittany our bachelorette was looking for a relationship with one in the lineup of eligible bachelors, Vlad, Jim, and Matt.  Of course there is always a twist.  Interviewed by Stephanie, our eligible bachelors reveal their oddity by answering questions posed to them.  Matt believed himself to be Woody Woodpecker, Vlad had a 3^rd nipple, and Jim thought he was Will Smith.  Brittany elected to give her rose to the one… the only… Will Smith.

Special Note***  Come check out your Award Winning Bit Players performing at the Providence Improv Fest (PIF) on Thursday June 14th at 95 Empire St, Providence. 

 Go to the website for more information: http://providenceimprovfest.com/showgroup.php?groupid=3

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations .  401-849-FIRE (3473)  And as always, it is BYOB!

Friday, May 25th and Saturday, May 26th 2012

Jim Foley, John Mulligan, Matt Lindman
and Vlad Tenenbaum perform "Story Syles"

Ahhhh…   Memorial Day Weekend…  The unofficial kickoff to summer!  But more importantly, a time to remember family, friends, and loved ones who are no longer with us.  What better way to honor their memory and their lives than by living one’s life to the fullest and creating memories with new friends?  Those in the Firehouse Theatre’s audience were primed and ready to do just that!

Starting things off on Friday with a game called “Story Styles” the Bit Players  tell the same story from the audience suggestion “Nicole and her stick in Oklahoma”  but in their own style as directed by Vlad Tenenbaum.  Matt Lindman added his variations with 1980’s RENT flair, while John Mulligan brought it back a century into Charlotte Bronte’s world of Jane Eyre.  Jim Foley brought some fire and brimstone to the story with his Bible musings.  Neal Leaheey may have summarized the characters in their Obituaries, but as Frank Fusaro noted by a Text Message, there is no BRB when you are dead. OMG!

The entire cast performed a “Doo Wop” about a lint brush…  Sounds a little mundane?  Well, check out the video and see just how entertaining a lint brush can be.  (Click here to view the video --> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CogIRkGV_qM  ) The Master at selling worthless items, Billy Mays, had nothing on these guys… (RIP Billy)

Neal and Jim manned the bar in “Bartender” as our patrons John, Vlad, Matt, and Frank got a chance to unload their troubles to them.  

John Mulligan laments
about Road Rage

Mat Lindman sings about his bad
experience with remodelling

John, having Road Rage, turned from the mild mannered Bruce Banner into the hulk on the roadways, as he sang his woes.  Vlad, who was conned by a leprechaun who took all of his money, was again conned by Bartender Jim who offered to help Vlad only if Vlad gave up his children to him.  

Matt, trying his best to have his house remodeled, probably should have consulted “Angie’s List” first before hiring his contractor, Erik who had tile dysfunction.  (Ahhh, yes… give the audience what they themselves don’t know they want to see.  Erik's Tile Dysfuntion, indeed!) 

Frank Fusaro slept with The Boss?

Vlad Tenenbaum and
John Mulligan in "LCD"

And lastly, Frank turned the tables on the audience too, after given “sleeping with the boss” as a suggestion, Frank crooned about a life of decadence and despair after having slept with The BOSS, Bruce Springstein.  (Did you see that one coming?) 

In the second set, “LCD” (Location, Career, Death or Blind Telephone) amused the audience especially when John and Vlad began miming a duel with their prosthetic limbs (ohhh yes, admit it, you laughed!)

Frank Fusaro and Jim Foley in "Tap The Audience"

The Bit Players said farewell to their Britt friend, Josh Picton who will be returning to London in the coming week.  Josh has been a huge supporter of the Bit Players over the past few months.  And as a token of friendship, The Bits just had to torture him (or was it Josh torturing then?) by inviting him and his friend Will up onto the stage in a rousing game of “Tap The Audience”. Josh and Will had a chance to add their own words to the improv scene performed by Frank and Jim.  We certainly wish Josh well on his journey home.

Dylan Eberle, Tim Bric and
Matt Lindman in "Doo Run" Song

On Saturday, several more audience members got a little treat.  Tony, a Computer Science wiz was privy to a “Doo Run” song sung to him by Matt, Dylan Eberle, and Tim Bric.

Vlad, Matt, and Dyan
perform "Epic Poem"

Another audience member Emily, got to live out a childhood dream as she got a taste of what it would have been like to be a pediatrician, (well, at least as the Bit Players saw it) in an “Epic Poem” composed just for her.

“Radio Show” as performed by the entire cast and narrated by Dlyan was an audience favorite of the night.  In this episode of “Cave Explorer” we witnessed Duke Dangerous and his sweetheart, Lucy, battle their arch nemesis Richard Ruthless.  Just when we thought Dangerous and Lucy were safe from their ordeal, Vladestovsky, The Mole King, enters.  Dangerous ties the hapless Lucy to a boot and hurls her down the mineshaft to thwart the Mole King.  But just then, Ruthless who had only appeared dead reawakened and removes his mask to reveal that he too was a Mole Person and had been using Dangerous and Lucy to defeat the Mole King, so that he could take the thrown.  Stay tuned to our next episode to see if Ruthless prevails and becomes the new Mole King, or if good will triumph once again.

The Bit Players "Serenade" two audience members
celebrating their Anniversary

In the second set of Saturday night’s performance, Rudolph and Quan Escarne, from Maryland, celebrating their 4^th anniversary, received a surprise “Serenade” from the Bit Players.  The Bits had fun with the Escarne’s, as Quan even got a tip of the hat from Dylan who said that Michelle Obama had nothing on Quan’s guns!

Dylan Eberle, Matt Lindman, and Tim Bric in "Puppets"
puppeteered by two audience members

Not to leave anyone out,  Lindsey celebrating her 30^th birthday and her friend, Josh got a chance to come up on stage with the Bits in a game called “Puppets”.  Josh and Lindsey really pushed the Bits to their limits, ending the scene in some sort of medical operation gone wrong. (It looked a bit more like a pig pile, than an operation).

Don’t forget!   Upcoming Auditions and Classes!

Auditions will be held: Saturday, June 16 from 10AM - 1PM. Please be on time. Firehouse Theater, 4 Equality Park Place, Newport, RI 02840

Who are we looking for?
- Strong performers who know how to have fun onstage and support fellow performers.
- Experience is NOT a requirement, we have gotten some of our best improvisers from open auditions.
- People who can think quick on their feet and be in the moment.
- We are NOT looking for comedians, people who try to be funny in improv often aren't.
- Singers, musicians, dancers, mimes, jugglers, gymnasts and any other talents are all welcome but not required.

Our performers get paid per show and the schedule is flexible. No need to prepare anything, this is an improv audition after all, just come ready to play some games and have some fun.

The Bit Players will be offering Classes:  Classes will run every Tuesday at 7PM - 9PM for 6 weeks starting on June 26, 2012.They will be held at the home of The Bit Players, Firehouse Theater, 4 Equality Park Place, Newport, RI 02840.  The cost of these classes is $150 per person.
For more info about either the Auditions or Classes call the theater at (401) 849-3473

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations.   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And as always, it is BYOB!

NEW ANNOUNCEMENT! Bit Players AUDITIONS and CLASSES!!!

Improv Auditions (Newport, RI)

"RI's Best Comedy Troupe", The Bit Players are having auditions!

The NEW Bit Players are a fast paced and energized group of improvisation master-minds. Their high energy LIVE shows, full of hysterical characters, hilarious games, and side-splitting musical numbers will leave you wanting more every time. Every show is full of audience interaction.

Our already hilarious family is looking to grow even bigger. With more in-house performances being booked in the summer and more external gigs we need to bring in some talented improvisers. We sell out just about every weekend and our audience demands a hilarious show every time which we are happy to give to them.

Who are we looking for?
- Strong performers who know how to have fun onstage and support fellow performers.
- Experience is NOT a requirement,we have gotten some of our best improvisers from open auditions.
- People who can think quick on their feet and be in the moment.
- We are NOT looking for comedians, people who try to be funny in improv often aren't.
- Singers, musicians, dancers, mimes, jugglers, gymnists and any other talents are all welcome but not required.

Our performers get paid per show and the schedule is flexible. No need to prepare anything, this is an improv audition after all, just come ready to play some games and have some fun.

Auditions will be held: Saturday, June 16 from 10AM - 1PM. Please be on time. Firehouse Theater, 4 Equality Park Place, Newport, RI 02840

OR you think you might have what it takes after a few lessons?

                                            (KEEP READING ...)

Improvisation Classes for ALL Levels (Newport, RI)

Want to have some fun? Want to learn how to improvise? Want to be a better public speaker? Want to experience the rush of being on stage with no idea what's about to happen and being completely confortable with that? Then these calsses are for you!!

"RI's Best Comedy Troupe", The Bit Players are holding open classes for all skill levels to come learn the basics of improvisation. Learn the fundamentals of improvisation for the non-professional actor. This class is also good for the actor with little to no experience in improv. Great for professionals who are looking to enhance their presentation and/or public speaking skills as well. Build self-confidence, develop your creativity, experiment, meet new people and have fun. No audition required.

The classes will be taught by Frank Fusaro, an improv performer, student and teacher for over nine years. Frank has trained at the Upright's Citizens Brigade, Second City, and Improv Boston just to name a few. He is also a co-founder of the RI long-form group Unexpected Company. Frank has been the Artistic Director of The Bit Players for the past three years.

Classes will run every Tuesday at 7PM - 9PM for 6 weeks starting on June 26, 2012.
They will be held at the home of The Bit Players, Firehouse Theater, 4 Equality Park Place, Newport, RI 02840.

The cost of these classes is $150 per person.  For more info call the theater at (401) 849-3473.

If you or someone you know wishes to participate in these classes just make sure you/they are present on Tuesday, June 26 at 7PM.

Keep Laughing.

Friday, May 18th and Saturday, May 19th 2012

Musician, Chuck Malone

accompanies the Bit Players

The Bit Players began the weekend of musical accompaniment by master musician and keyboardist, Chuck Malone, with a bit called “Remote Control”.  In this bit, the players become the channels of Frank Fusaro’s television.  At any time, when bored, Frank can change the channel, but on Frank’s TV, the channels (Kevin Killavey, John Mulligan, Neal Leaheey, Stephanie Conrad, and Vlad Tenenbaum continue to tell the same story of Nantucket, voted best island by the National Geographic Channel.

Sue, an audience member,  hailing from Shrewsbury, MA, celebrating her 60^th birthday along with her gaggle of girls from Syracuse, NY, was regaled by the Bits in “Hoe Down” style.

Vlad Tenenbaum in "Olympics"

Vlad captivated the audience with a new bit called “Olympics”.  In Vlad’s version of the Olympics, he took the suggestion of washing dishes and made it an Olympic event. Vlad also requested a pose from an audience member which he incorporated into his mime piece.  To make it even more mind-blowing Vlad introduced four distinct personalities in the piece to the delight of the audience.  Watch the video here: - >
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rken7qrIIuU

John Mulligan, Kevin Killavey,
and Stephanie Conrad in "Ding" 

In “Ding”  our players provide a scene where our host, Frank can stop the scene at any time by buzzing them. The players must then provide new dialog/actions until Frank is satisfied with the new offer and “dings” them to continue the scene.  In the scene, we see our players, John and Kevin in a lighthouse where John is attempting to teach Kevin the ropes of being a lighthouse worker. Kevin, failing a urine test, can not quite grasp the concept of John’s directions of how to pee in the wind.  John instructions finally take hold in Kevin’s drug doped mind as John teaches Kevin the difference between windward and “peeward”.  As they look out into the waters, Kevin and John spy a small boy (played by Stephanie) floating helplessly off the coast on a graham cracker.  Kevin begins throwing small marshmallows and chocolate at the boy, guiding the boy to shore under the hot, bright light of the lighthouse beam.  The boy screams in frustration that the two lighthouse workers are not helping him, and Kevin asks the boy to throw back the chocolate and marshmallows because he and John have the munchies.

The Bit Players "Serenade"
26 year old Jenna

Twenty-six year old, Birthday Girl, Jenna is called up to the stage for a “Serenade”…  The Bit Players learn that Jenna works at the Uniform Shop on base and studied Humanities at UMASS, Dartmouth, and to the dismay of some of the players as well as some of the male members of the audience, is dating a sailor (Brian). Jenna’s life is celebrated in true Bit Players style.

Bit Players sing a "Blues Song"

Ending the Friday night cooky-ness, two additional Bit Players, Jim Foley and Matt Lindman, spending their Friday night in the audience of the Firehouse Theatre, were called to the stage to perform “Blues Song” with the ensemble cast.

Frank Fusaro, Anna Smith, and
Dylan Eberle in "Good Cop/Bad Cop"

On Saturday, performing to another packed house, the Bit Players’ wacky antics were a fitting way to continue the celebration of Preakness Day… Aptly enough, the horse “I’ll Have Another” made it a double, winning the 1^st and 2^nd legs of the Triple Crown…  and Firehouse Theatre’s BYOB crowd may have had another, (and another) during the course of the entertaining evening.  Also fitting, and about the size of the world’s best jockies, Anna Smith rounded out the Bit Players cast for Saturday night’s show.  In “Good Cop/Bad Cop”  Anna had to confess to detectives, Frank and Dylan Eberle, to her crime of killing Zoro, with nail polish, in a Wal-Mart.

In “Irish Drinking Song” Dylan, Frank, Jim, and Tim Bric had fun with audience members Justin (Lawyer) and Sonya Cinnamon (Marketing).  A good sport, Sonya endured an entire evening of the reference to her name as being similar to that of a Porn Star.

Dylan Eberle, Anna Smith and Vlad Tenenbaum
in "Visual Interpreter"

In the second set, Vlad was the “Visual Interpreter” as Anna interviewed Dylan (aka Jean Claud Van Der Castle) as the expert in Quantum Physics.  Mr. Van Der Castle described the inner workings of the Hadron Collider at CERN.  To everyone’s amazement, this seemingly high tech device is powered by small babies running on a treadmill, urged on by India Jones whipping them and throwing steaks at the babies.  But the babies eat the steaks and grow too big, resulting in the atoms colliding and life beginning again.  The outer reaches of space was also described by Mr. Van Der Castle as  being similar to eggs in a space god’s womb, where after birth the tiny galaxies could catch cold and have a fever.  Our interviewer, Anna, wanted to know about Mr. Van Der Castle’s other interests of his clothing line, “The String Theory Collection” because as Mr. Van Der Castle put it, scientists can still be sexy wearing their lab coats made of cheetah skins.

The Bit Players "Serenade"
Bachellorette, Lisa

Bachelorette,  (and Physical Therapist) Lisa celebrating her upcoming marriage on June 16^th  to Ben (The Computer Guy) with her all-girl entourage, was “Serenaded”  in true Bit Players fashion.  Watch the video (with another Sonya reference) here ->:
 http://youtu.be/f-C5vHEMPvM

Rounding out the night with “Blues Song” as an ode to the gentleman in the audience who questionably provided the suggestion that he was blue about “still being married”, the audience was not only delighted by the marriage quips and jibes sung by the players, they joined in the chorus of “ I’ve got the low down dirty, still married Blues…”

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations   

     401-849-FIRE (3473) 

And as always, it is BYOB!

Friday, May 11th and Saturday, May 12th 2012

With Frank Fusaro back at the helm as artistic director of the Bit Players, and Anna Smith’s feet firmly planted back in the United States (at least for a while), the weekend crowd once again had their minds blown by two hilarious shows.

Twenty-four  year old Birthday Girl,  Sarah and her boyfriend, Brandon, were on the receiving end of a “Doo Run Song”. To Sarah and Brandon’s delight, The Bit Players sang of Sarah’s exploits as an NBC sports promoter, whose Navy boyfriend reaped the rewards of their shared country line dancing activities.

“Art Class” performed by Vlad Tenenbaum had everyone watching in wonderment as Vlad told his story in “Vlad Style” miming his way through a cross country train ride with his pet turtle, paying his fare with coins stashed in his piggy bank.  To amuse themselves on the long trek, Vlad and his pet turtle played basketball, which Vlad has naturally packed in his luggage.  While enroute to his destination, Vlad spied Bambi lurking in the shadows.  Deftly unpacking his rifle (also in his suitcase), Vlad took aim at the hapless Bambi.  But to everyone’s chagrin, Vlad missed.  Thankfully Vlad is not as good a hunter as he is a mime.  But this makes one wonder …  Does Vlad suffer from watching reruns of “Let’s Make A Deal” on GSN?  Really?  What else does he pack in his suitcase?

A second Sarah in the audience, celebrating her upcoming nuptials with her friends, was “Serenaded” by the Bit Player.  Bride-to-be, Sarah, a self-proclaimed “Cat-Whisperer” reveled under the spotlights as the Bits crooned of the pro’s and con’s of Match.Com relationships, and Sarah’s fiancé, Chris’ prowess as a network engineer.

In the second set, Anna and Matt Lindman took on “Alphabetical Shakespeare” as the audience was taken on a journey into Shakespeare’s world of love and death as we saw Anna’s penchant for the macabre, enticing her brother, Matt to commit the murder of Neal Leaheey with poisonous herbs.

After whetting her whistle, Anna was on a role with the next bit, a “Mini- Musical” entitled “Gang-Green”.  Watch as Anna schools everyone, including Neal and rival gang members, Tim Bric and Matt with her Gang Green Rap.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hi5Jl1uaE20

On Saturday, May 12^th, Frank and company started off the night with “Slideshow” and with them we travelled to the far off reaches of a country foreign to us all, South Dakota.  We saw statues of the South Dakota gods who celebrated the acceptance of gay marriage.  Frank soon learned that upon landing at the airport, you are provided with your own little guy who clings to your ankles and a personal  gay guide follow you around.  The gay guide showed Frank the unique topological features of this country and the ability look out onto the southern border of South Dakota (which blew Frank’s mind… and may have cause  and embolism and permanent damage).  Frank soon became enamored with the culture after seeing so many of the statues of the gay figures dotting the landscape.  Frank not only became accepting of the culture of  this foreign land, he soon took part in activities like the Love Tango, and ended up bringing his gay guide, and the little clinging man home to Newport with him to live.

Audience member Grafton, celebrating his birthday, was honored with a “Doo Ron Song” by Matt, Kevin Killavey, and Dylan Eberle.  Kevin found it particularly amusing and ironic with the name Grafton, that he was a math teacher.  Grafton was a good sport with the Bit Players rendition of his life in this song, where we were taken on a sordid journey of inappropriate behavior with a female student that landed Grafton in jail.  In this offensive tale, Grafton did not sit idly behind the bars of his jail cell.  On, no! The industrious Grafton was found to be making “hootch” to provide to his fellow inmates, before escaping from his confines, running amuck out in society.

In “Radio Show” our narrator Dylan chronicled episode 18 of  “Jane, The Spicy Nurse”, and our audience was taken to the mean streets of Miami, where we meet our nurse, Jane who provided care for the stricken and downtrodden. Jane came upon Roger who was attempting to jump from a bridge.  Jane used her “spicy talents” to persuade Roger down from the bridge, but to no avail.  Officer Curmudgeon  arrives  on the scene to offer assistance.  Soon there was an altercation between Officer Curmudgeon and Nurse Jane, and in a twist of fate, Roger comes to Jane’s aid and kills our hapless officer.  We learn that Roger has been set up by the dastardly Jane.  Roger is framed for the murder that Jane has pre-scripted to kill Officer Curmudgeon. What will happen next to our victim, Roger?  Find out in our next installment, episode 18, “Tacos at Midnight”

T-Mobile salesman, Joe was treated to an  ”Irish Drinking Song” watch the video to witness the song about the life of Joe and his cell phone sales.  Click the link here à:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnGz_f6EYug

In the second set Amanda and her Bachelorette party were “Serenaded” by the Bit Players.  After having met in a Jeep Club (who knew such things existed?) our bride-to-be, Amanda was finally tying the knot with boyfriend, Donnie (the firefighter) after dating for seven years.  This looked to be no ordinary wedding as we learned that Amanda worked in an ammunitions shop.  With all of this fodder, the Bit Players had fun with this serenade paying homage to “shot gun weddings”, sliding down fire poles,  and the polishing of Donnie’s gun.

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations   

     401-849-FIRE (3473) 

And as always, it is BYOB!