Muhammad Ali once said “I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark”. The Host of the Bit Players performance on Friday, Vlad Tenenbaum, must have been channeling his inner Ali, as the show flew by at breakneck speed, with a phenomenal, twenty bits being played on the night. His fellow Bits, Lobo Linhares, Neal Leaheey, Stephanie Conrad, Jim Foley, John Mulligan, along with musicians, Devon Mello and Chase Ceglie, had all they could do to keep up with Vlad.
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| The Bit Players perform "Ghost Story, Die!" |
Starting off the top of the show with a re-tooled bit entitled, “Ghost Story Die!", we find George and his pencil in downtown Newport. George turned out to be possessed by the Fog Monster that had overtaken the town. George did the only noble and righteous act he could think of. He stabbed himself in the eye with his pencil. In so doing, he caused the fog to clear. George then wrote a note to his dead girlfriend, Mindy, whom he had also stabbed. In the note George apologized for his pitiable actions, telling her how much he loved her… and then he too, died!
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| Jim Foley, Stephanie Conrad, John Mulligan, and Neal Leaheey star in "Party Quirks" |
“Party Quirks” had John hosting a Halloween party. The rest of the players portrayed famous people coming to the party, dressed in costume. John must not only discern their identities, but also their costume choice. Jim was James Dean dressed as Count Chocula, Stephanie was Lady Gaga dressed as Obama, and Neal took on RuPaul dressed as Hillary Clinton.
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| Stephanie, Jim, and John in "Doo Run" |
Next up, audience member, Margaret, an independent web designer was surprised by a “Doo Run” song improvised for her on the spot by Stephanie, Jim and John.
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| Audience members, Andy and Nasia, join Neal and John on stage to perform "Puppets" |
With the bits and bodies flying across the stage, Vlad decided to throw in more unexpected games. The bit “Puppets” was supplemented into the set list. In this bit Vlad asked Neal and John to perform as the puppets in this scene, while two members of the audience, Andy and Nasia, were invited up on the stage to be their puppeteers. Andy and Nasia put Neal and John through their paces in this scene about two interior designers installing a ceiling fan.
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| Vlad, Jim, and John in "Epic Poem" |
Calling Jim and John to join him on the stage, Vlad added another bit to the list, “Epic Poem”. In this bit, since Andy did such a great job in the previous bit puppeteering and it was also Andy's birthday, this trio of players created an improvised poem all about “The Day Andy Fought Fires!”
Finishing out the first set was “That Sounds Like a Song”. In this scene inspired by diapers, Jim and Stephanie found themselves as the parents of an adopted adult son, John, who not only thinks it is perfectly fine to poop in his pants, John is proud of it! However the twist in this bit is that the host, Vlad, may at any time during the game shout, “That Sounds Like A Song” and the players must then improvise a song about what they’ve just said. Watch this video clip to see what happens in this wacky scene. (Click here to watch the video -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbdUonE8lLc&feature=youtu.be )
In the second half of the show Vlad and John played “Location, Career, Death!” (This is The Bit Player’s version of the old children’s game, broken telephone). In this version, (with John out of the room), Vlad gets suggestions from the audience of a location (a brewery), an occupation (Lunch Lady) and an object (an eye patch), which Vlad must convey to John only through the use of mime. When John believes he understands what each is, he claps and Vlad moves to the next suggestion. When John thinks he knows the final item, he must, through mime, kill Vlad with it.
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| Stephanie, Neal, John, and Jim perform "Irish Drinking Song" |
Another audience member was selected as the subject for “Irish Drinking Song”. Jake who has a fear of snakes was bowled over with this Irish-styled song created for him by Stephanie, Neal, John and Jim.
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| Neal, Lobo, and John perfform in "Moondoggie" hosted by Stephanie |
“Moondoggie” had the crowds laughing. In this bit, hosted by Stephanie, it was Neal, Lobo, and John acting as the expert being interviewed by Stephanie. The twist was that these three are actually ONE person and must speak in ONLY one voice. Our expert, Dr Hooligan was an authority on Mars exploration. We discovered that our expert was adopted by aliens which sparked his interest in this field of study. We also learned from Dr Hooligan, that aliens have a very hands-off approach to parenting since his alien parents have no hands. Dr Hooligan admitted to having explored the center of a black hole which he described as being very dark. The studio audience had a few questions for the doctor. In response to how he got back to earth, Dr Hooligan replied … “by walking”. When asked his favorite color, the doctor said, “Redship mist” (obviously, a color invented by NASA), and finally, when asked what time it was, the doctor responded, “It’s time for an invasion!”
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| Jim and John in "Word at a Time" |
More bits were thrown into the fray in the second half. John and Jim were asked to perform “Word At A Time”. This bit inspired by the audience suggestion of Gladiators, is a scene game where John and Jim work together to tell a story, each alternately contributing the next word. We see our triumphant gladiator take pity on his opponent and sheathes his broadsword. The gladiator offers the peasant a gift of lions instead.
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| Audience members Tim and Jake particpate with Jim and John in "Tap the Audience" |
Another added bit, “Helping Hands” was up next. Neal and John performed as actors, with Stephanie and Lobo providing their hands. This silly scene was about arm wrestling no less!
More audience participation was requested in the next bit as Tim and Jake were called up to the stage for “Tap The Audience”. In this bit, these two participants must help Jim and John with dialog for the scene when Jim and John, acting as newspaper reporters, run out of things to say.
The last bit of the night for Friday was “Blues Song” about fast food. All of the Bit Players crooned about their favorite indulgent and artery-clogging guilty pleasures.
On Saturday night the pace was equally as quick, ......but ladies… It was still oh, soooooooooooooooo S-A-T-I-S-F-Y-I-N-G!
With Chuck Malone tickling the ivories and providing the musical accompaniment, and Dylan Eberle taking on the hosting duties, the two were joined by Vlad, Jim, Clayon McFarlane and Tim Bric for the Saturday night show.
Starting the top of the show with “Story, Story, Die!” about Igor and his apple in the Yukon. The tale took a bizarre twist as Igor met Jeffery and their two knives became enchanted by ancient Indian spirits The knives “Rusty and Sharpie, fought valiantly. Remaining standing to finish the tale was Dylan as he concluded that Rusty and Sharpie’s clashes generated green and red sparks creating what we know today as the northern lights.
Next up was “Haunted House”. In this bit, Tim was inheriting a haunted house from his uncle with the stipulation that he must spend the night in this house and be visited by the three spirits who inhabit this house. The first spirit played by Jim was Lance Armstrong, followed by Clayon’s spirit of Puff Daddy. Rounding out the trio was Dylan playing the spirit of Big Bird. Watch the crazy spirits was they convey to Tim their identities. (Click here to watch the video -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzOywLam-Ks&feature=youtu.be)
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| Dylan, Clayon, Jim, and Tim in "Irish Drinking Song" |
Dylan, Clayon, Jim, and Tim took on “Irish Drinking Song” about Sadie the 7-11 Clerk. In this improvised song, Sadie meets her nemesis the robber who stole all her meat. Sadie gave chase to the robber asnd caught him. However Sadie’s dilemma was how to discipline this robber because she’d never disciplined a man. Sadie’s fate was a happy one as she hugged the robber and they ended up buying a house together, complete with a Persian rug.
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| Bosses Clayon and Jim interrogate Tim who is aided by Vlad in "Late to Work" |
The bit, “Late To Work” had our chronically tardy employee, Tim being confronted by his bosses Jim and Clayon as to why he was again late to work. Fortunately his co-worker, Vlad has his back and helps Tim (through the use of mime) to come up with this plausible (??) excuse. Tim told the tale to his bosses of how his bedroom was flooded when he awoke that morning. Tim was then resourceful and evaporated all the water by lighting a fire. Famished by his efforts Tim went downstairs to find he didn’t have anything to eat in his house. Luckily, two raccoons came in, which Tim snatched up and rotisserized for his breakfast. There was more bad news for Tim as he found that his steering wheel was missing in his car. Tim was aided by his neighbor’s horse. No, not to ride, but to become his steering wheel! Finally heading to work, Tim stopped to pick up a hitch-hiker clown. That was Tim’s story and he was sticking to it!
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| Vlad along with the Bit Players "Serenade" Kathy |
The Bit Players in cahoots with her family, surprised Kathy and brought her up on stage to be “Serenaded”. A good sport, Kathy was subjected to an interview through which we learned that she was from Westerly, and a watercolor artist. Kathy was celebrating wither special day with her husband John, her son David and his girlfriend Krissy. The Bit Players took all of this information and created a one-of-a-kind song all about Kathy.
“Radio Show” was up next with Dylan narrating. In this dramatic play, the audience is plunged into darkness as the players tell their spooky tale. In this tale, we listen in on fictitious radio station WYYY, to ”The Headless Horse” part 2 of the four-part series. We meet Jeffery the jockey, about to ride his prize winning horse Dare-devil in the third leg of the triple crown races. However upon entering the stables he sees that his horse is dead on the stable floor and is headless. Jeffery is almost inconsolable. The groundskeeper tells Jeffery that in upstate New York they could perform a dark art and resurrect the dead horse. The groundskeeper took Jeffery to the old burned out racetrack that was haunted by dead native American puppies. The groundskeeper’s eyes glowed red as lightning struck, and the head of the horse came alive. Jeffery wondered how he could ride a horse without a body, and then solved the problem by exclaiming, “I will sit on his head!” However Jeffery’s problems were not over. The groundkeeper declared that there was a price to be paid for this resurrection. Jeffery told the groundkeeper that he has $1.98. However, the price was much greater. It was Jeffery’s own soul. What will become of the jockey, Jeffery? What will become of the horse with no body? Tune into the next installment of… “the horse with no head or something”… muhwhahahahahahah!!
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| Tim (Country), Jim (Ace of Base), Clayon (Milli Vanilli), and Dylan (Death Metal) are the entertainment for a "Telethon" for bankers |
“Telethon” finished off the 1st set. In this telethon, the Bit Players attempt to raise money for an audience supplied cause. On this night, the telethon was for “Bankers”. But that’s not all… in this zany bit, the players also get a genre of music in which they will compose their song about bankers. Tim Bric was provided “Country”, Jim had to sing in the style of “Ace of Base”, Clayon took on Milli Vanilli, and Dylan rounded out the quartet with his Death Metal stylings.
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| Dylan, Jim, and Clayon in "Gibberish Interview" |
In the second half, Danielle and Ryan Perry were honored with panache in an “Epic Poem “poem all about growing skin and tattoo artistry performed by Vlad, Jim and Dylan.
In the bit “Gibberish Interview”, Dylan our expert on scuba diving cannot speak English. Dylan is provided with a translator, Jim who interprets Dylan’s answers . Hosted by Clayon in his show “Scuba Me, Scuba You”, Clayon interviews this expert on his scuba diving prowess.
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| Jim with the Bit Players sing "Blues Song" |
Rounding out the weekend of extraordinary oddities was “Blues Song” performed by all of the players in which they sing their ode to promotions with the chorus, “I’ve got the low-down dirty, Promotion Blues….”
One more note for our Bit Player fans - we want to once again remind you about the special Halloween Show on Wednesday, October, 31st from 8-9 pm. Fans coming to the show dressed in costume will only pay $5 at the door for admission. There will be lots of candy and a costume judging contest with prizes too. Make your reservations early. You don’t want to miss out!
The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840. Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows 401-849-FIRE (3473) And it is always BYOB!
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