Friday, November 30th and Saturday, December 1st

“It came without ribbons, it came without tags, it came without packages, boxes or bags…  “

Oh yes, “THE SEASON HAS ARRIVED”!  This is the time of year where our “To-Do” lists are just as long as our shopping lists, the hustle-bustle of our daily routines gain momentum, and we are all frazzled and exhausted.  What better way to escape that reality and enter a world where you can create the twisted scenes of life that you would like see?  Maybe living out that occupation of which you always dreamed?  Or watching the demise of someone who, because they didn’t entertain your whims, is killed off by a mad Russian?  At the Firehouse Theater, the Bit Players aim to please and are here to relieve you of your stress-filled days, and offer the best gift of all; Laughter with your friends (and sometimes AT their expense).

The cast list set to amuse our Friday crowd was Dylan Eberle, Frank Fusaro, Jessica, Bradley, Patrick Dugan and Tim Bric.  The show was hosted by the mad Russian himself, Vlad Tenenbaum and was all set to the musical accompaniment of Devon Mello on keyboards.

The Bit Players perform "Story, Story, Die!"

Daily life in the Ocean State is always a bit different from the rest of the country, with our rocky coastlines and surly beach goers, RI’ers are a hearty bunch and none was more evident than in the telling of the first tale of the night “Story, Story, Die”.  Our entire cast told a collective story about Jason and his adventures at the beach.  We first met our main character consuming vast quantities of Pizza from a shack on the beach.  Jason learns that he can consume even more pizza by forcing himself to vomit.  He soon learns that this was no ordinary pizza.  This pizza contains a super serum turning him into a Super Hero who can kill all the local sharks plaguing the waters.  Mercifully for the sharks our Russian host, Vlad ended the scene after  Jason had almost exterminated all of the sharks.

Dylan and Frank  as cops, with Tim Bric as the "perp"
in "Good Cop / Bad Cop"

In “Good Cop / Bad Cop” the cops in this bit, (played by Frank and Dylan), presented the necessary clues to our perpetrator, played by Tim.  This crime supplied by the audience’s suggestions of killing Pac Man, with a Twinkie, at Augusta National Golf Course were the transgressions to which Tim confessed from the clues provided by the cops.  The audience was delighted with all of the nerdy 80’s video games references, followed by the topical remarks concerning the downfall of Hostess.  The crowd especially loved the torture of the interrogation and laughed wildly as Frank and Dylan offered numerous clues to lead Tim to say Augusta.

Pat, Jess, Frank, and Tim
in "Irish Drinking Song"

Kevin, a newly commissioned officer in the US Navy was singled out by the Bit Players.  Vlad’s declaration of Kevin being an Army Officer was good-naturedly forgiven as Kevin and his clan of family and friends laughed at Vlad’s faux pas.  Kevin was regaled in good old “Irish Drinking Song” style by Pat, Jess, Tim, and Frank about Kevin’s desire to become a baseball player.  Not only was this wish fulfilled by the Bit Players, but they also included Kevin’s other secret desire, to become a gigolo.

Dylan, Jess, and Vlad
in "Visual Interpreter"

“Visual Interpreter” is always a favorite of the audience.  With the physical comedy of Vlad’s extraordinary mime abilities, the upbeat interviewing skills of Jess, and the bizarre narrative talents  of Dylan, this bit about The Fiscal Cliff/Debt Crisis set the boring topic on its ear, and had the audience in stitches.  (Watch this entertaining video by clicking the link here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6PHB3aeb1o&feature=youtu.be

Audience member, Kathy, celebrating her 65^th Birthday with her family had a bit of limelight, as the Bit Players asked what present she would like to receive on her Birthday.  Sharp-witted Kathy pronounced that she wanted a million dollars, but she settled on a diamond. As always the Players give their audiences that for which they ask and sang a “Doo Wop” song all about a diamond, which to Kathy’s delight, in the song, it was sold for a million dollars.

Pat, Jess, Frank and Dylan in "Director"

In the second set of Friday’s show, Frank was the host for “Director”.  In this bit, Jess, Pat and Dylan were rehearsing for a play.  The play, “Something in the Dark” as suggested by the audience, found our actors, Pat and Jess in a cemetery, jumping over very small fences, and being accosted by a Canadian Caretaker, Dylan.  The strange scene went beyond absurd as the Frank, the director, changed the play into a “Soap Opera”, with Pat playing “O J Simpson”, Jess imitating “Kevin Bacon”, and Dylan impersonating “Bill Cosby”.  Those poor attempts at impersonation were made even worse when Frank changed the scene again, requiring all of the players to do “Christopher Walken” impersonations.

Susan is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

New Jersey actress, Susan, celebrating her 50^th Birthday with her husband Mark was called to the stage in honor of Susan’s special day.  As it turns out, Susan, is very familiar with improv, herself working in the area of Theater Sports.  Her accomplished husband Mark, first chair, playing clarinet with the NY Philharmonic Orchestra secretly helped to set up this special attention for Susan with the Bit Players to get Susan up on the stage.  After interviewing the couple, The Bit Players created an improvised song for Susan and Mark, in a “Serenade” just for them.

Two Aduience members assist Frank and Dylan
in "Tap the Audience"

Two more volunteers were called to the stage to assist Frank and Dylan in a bit called “Tap The Audience” .  In this bit the two volunteers when “tapped”,  provide dialog for Frank and Dylan in the scene.  Not only was the audience laughing along, but so were the volunteers in this final bit of Friday night.

On Saturday the raucous crowd was boisterous and raring to go and so were the Bit Players in their newly decorated Firehouse Theater with all of the holiday trimmings.  Joining Vlad, Frank, and Dylan on stage were Stephanie Conrad, Tim “Lobo” Linhares, and Neal Leaheey.  And joining Devon as part of the Bit Players house band, Chase Ceglie.

To start things off on Saturday Night, “Story Story, Die!” had the cast telling a  crazy tale about George who’s grandmother had died.  In order for him to get the deed in the trust fund, George had to travel through the Alaskan wilderness on his motorcycle.  When George’s mode of transportation failed he displayed his masculine prowess much like Ben Hur and attempted to guide his dog, Sparky and their sled through the tundra, but failed miserably when they slapped into a tree.

Neal, Dylan, and Lobo
in "Shaekespeare Alphabet"

One of the signature bits, “Shakespeare Alphabet” was in tonight’s lineup.  In this bit, the actors, Lobo and Neal, assimilating roles akin to the classic tragedy, found themselves ensconced in a “treasonous” tale provided by the audience.  But unlike the classic prose, our actors had to follow the rules of the alphabet with their dialog each beginning with the next letter of the alphabet.

Stephanie, Lobo, Frank, and Dylan
perform "Irish Drinking Song"

“Irish Drinking Song” was up next.  In this bit the players, Frank, Dylan, Lobo, and Stephanie compose an improvised song about a suggested person and occupation.  Tonight’s lyrical limerick was about Gary, The Professional Wrestler.

The always entertaining, Vlad charmed the audience with his amazing mime skills in the next bit, “Good Morning”.  In this sequence, Vlad asked the audience for suggestions of items that they might encounter during their normal morning routines.  Vlad then took the items (toothbrush, glasses, toilet paper, fingernail clippers, and lotion) and not only mimed using the items, Vlad brought the items themselves to life as if they were interacting with him.

The incomparable, Vlad performs a mime sketch, "Good Morning"

In the last bit of the 1^st set on Saturday, the Bit Players performed their signature bit, “Bartender”.  In this bit, Frank and Stephanie, as part of their jobs not only listen to the unique problems sung to them by their bar’s patrons, they must sing advice back to their patrons in improvised songs.  The audience suggested that Neal had “family problems”.  Neal then crooned about his wife having an affair with Santa Claus.  Stephanie responded with her advice to Neal, to sleep with Mrs. Claus.  Lobo’s problem of not being able to get Wifi, was turned on its side as Lobo intoned about his wife with “One Eye”.  Vlad’s had the problem of not being able to speak English. Vlad was making his efforts to learn the new language even more difficult with setting his sights low in learning only one new word a day.  Finally, Dylan had the problem of being addicted to drugs.  In Dylan’s song we heard that he was really the catastrophe-in-the-making , Lindsay Lohan.

Frank and Stephanie as "Bartenders" with Neal, Lobo, Vlad, and Dylan as patrons

Christina is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

Beautiful, Brazilian, Christina now living in Cranston, was called to the stage to commemorate her Birthday.  Her boyfriend Eric had prearranged this “Serenade” as a tribute to her.  While Christina wound her way to the stage a special movie was shown of her, which included special moments in her life.  Christina originally came to the United States to study.  She and Eric met through their work in sales.  All of this information was used by The Bit Players to create a unique and improvised song for Christina in honor of her special day.

Kyle and Best Man, "Art the Greek" help out
Dylan and Lobo in "Puppets"

Keeping the love flowing and new friends being asked to the stage, Bachelor Kyle and his Best Man, Art the Greek were called to the stage.  Kyle was also presented with a special movie up on the BIG screen for all to see.  On display were wonderful and special moments in Kyle’s life leading up to his upcoming nuptials to fiancée, Joy.  But the Bit Players made Kyle and Art work for their spotlight by having them assist in a bit called “Puppets” as puppeteers for Lobo and Dylan in a scene about “Cycling”.

Hosted by Neal, with Frank, Vlad, and Dylan as elgible bachelors
andStephanie as the bachelorette in "The Dating Game"

With all of this love in the air, it was fitting for the next bit in the lineup to be “The Dating Game”.  In this bit, the eligible bachelors Dylan, Vlad and Frank received odd quirks as suggested by the audience.  Tonight, Dylan was reliving Apollo 13, Vlad was a Lion on the Serengeti, and frank was stuck in “the Little Mermaid”.  While these suggestions were being provided to our bachelors, Stephanie the lucky bachelorette, was out of the room.  When she returned, Stephanie’s job was to ask questions of her bachelors to figure out their unique identities, and choose the bachelor with which she would go on a date.

The Bit Players finished off the night in true blues fashion, with a “Blues Song” all about Hostess products.  Joining in the song’s chorus, the audience added their dejection about this beloved American staple food (??)…  with…. “the low-down, dirty Hostess Blues…”

From Birthdays, Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties, Anniversaries and even marriage proposals, want to arrange a unique event for someone special?  Why not show your love or appreciation for that certain someone, LIVE onstage!  Bring your friend or loved one to the Bit Players show, and celebrate in a one-of-a-kind way.  Contact the theater for information on how we can help you plan and make your event special!

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!