Friday, July 27th and Saturday July 28th 2012

With midsummer upon us and with most of us fully ensconced into the spirit of the Olympics, what better comparison to the Bit Players than to these Olympic athletes and the games?   Oh, you scoff?  Well make no mistake, our Bit Players of the Firehouse Theater stage just like those you are watching on the world stage, are highly trained individuals in the sport of improv.  Although the Bit Players do NOT perform games, they are called BITS, per Jack Maytum (The Firehouse’s version of the IOC).  Did you also know that the five interlocked rings that symbolize the Olympic games represents the five parts of the world that compete in the Olympic games;  Blue for Europe, Black for Africa, Red for the Americas, Yellow for Asia, and green for Oceana? The Bit Players also sport different colors.  But the question remains, what do their colors (Black, Red, and Purple) represent?  Perhaps their fans would have a suggestion or shed some light on the issue? 

Dylan and Neal in "Stunt Doubles"

During Friday night’s Herculean efforts, the Bit Players physically challenged each other in a bit that found Brittany Hunt and Frank Fusaro on a trip to Disney World, riding the rides and each other, as their “Stunt Doubles” Dylan Eberle and Neal Leaheey acted out their actions of being carried piggy-back and making cotton candy.  Frank aptly expressed the exhaustive nature of the scene by exclaiming, “I should have taken the thin sister!”

Exercise and athleticism continued in “Irish Drinking Song” about Steve the retiree, performed by John Mulligan, Frank, Dylan, and Brittany.  Through song, we see Steve on the couch, watching TV and drinking lemonade. His wife declares that he is getting fat and needs exercise.  Steve tells his wife to go to hell and buys a Prius.  Steve proceeds to a stripper bar where the strippers there think his car is lame. Steve then goes to a second strip club where the strippers are the “B” squad and don’t shave their pits, but Steve is victorious in the end.

In  The Day The Eberle’s Steamboated/Riverboated  an “Epic Poem” performed by Neal, Sarah, and Frank about Dylan’s parents (who are NOT named Eberle) , we meet our couple on a riverboat casino.  On the riverboat, Mrs. Eberle was enjoying the speed of the vessel, as it was going so fast that her loins quivered.  Mr. Eberle must be a bit of a thespian as his character went on the riverboat casino’s stage and hit a high “C” and then hit the Jackpot.  As girls swarmed around Mr. Eberle and his winnings, Mrs. Eberle warned him, “You better not!”  All was well later that night as the couple retired to the Captain’s Suite, and Mr. Eberle gave Mrs. Eberle a little treat!

In “Doo Run Song” Carmella and Chad celebrating their 10^th year wedding anniversary were the focus.  In some good natured ribbing we saw Carmella doing nothing, except making muffins ,yet loving Chad with all his stuffing.  Chad was the one who was makin’ the bacon in the family.  But Brittany, Frank , and Dylan wished them well with a cheer for 10 more years, and possibly tickets to see Tears for Fears?  Watch the video - >  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0eP8Al1NqI&feature=plcp

Neal sings his problem in"Bartender"

Brittany as Daryl Hannah(?)
in "Bartender"

Ending the 1^st set with their signature bit, “Bartender” with Dylan and Frank behind the bar., we meet our bar patrons, Neal, Brittany, and John who have unique problems that they sing to their bartenders looking for advice.  Neal who intoned about his problem of being harassed for being a male nurse was given some advice by Dylan to swim to Cuba in a move of reverse immigration, and set up a private practice there.  Brittany who did not have enough water, and as we learned was really Daryl Hannah from the movie Splash, was provided advice by Frank to find a Mer-Man, steal his eggs (I didn’t know mer-men had eggs???) and make mer-babies.  Lastly John who had problems with

John is directionally challenged
in "Bartender" 

directions had a GPS that was possessed by the ghost of Magellan. Dylan proffered some guidance that perhaps John was too reliant on technology and should go back to school and learn to use a sextant any maybe the use of sine, cosine, and tangent.

Bachelorette Megan is "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

In the second set,  civil engineer, Megan, celebrating with her bachelorette party was called to the stage to be “Serenaded” by the Bit Players.  Marrying City Planner, Stephen, the two met as judges at a Science Fair.

The highlight bit of the night, “Radio Show” plunged our audience into complete darkness.  With the narrative provided by Dylan in the story, “The Phone Comes to Arkansas” we meet our main character Daryl missing the last train out of town,  who was trying to get a message to  Anna, the woman he loves.  As Daryl is walking down the highway he sees headlights as James Jefferson offers to take Daryl to his love, Anna, in his buggy hooked to an electric horse.  As the two are rumbling down the road, Daryl  causes the electric horse to have a flat foot and they break down and crash into a nearby field.  This field was owned by none other than the notorious Mr. Briarpatty.  Mr. Briarpatty demands that they better have a good reason for crashing into his patch. Daryl reveals his tale of having to get a message to his love.  Mr. Briarpatty softens and offers to let Daryl use his electric horse with an attached telephone. Daryl however does not know how to use this newfangled device. The audience is left with the questions; Will Daryl learn how to dial a phone? Is Mr. Briarpatty hopped up on moonshine?  Find out in the next edition of Radio Show.

On Saturday, the Bit Players marathon efforts continued.   Not dissuaded by the torrential rains, the audience was at full capacity.  To their delight, Clayon McFarlane debuted in his first ever performance as the perpetrator in “Good Cop / Bad Cop”.  Interrogated by cops, Frank and Matt Lindman, Clayon had to confess to the crime of killing Inspector Gadget, with a Can Opener, in a Bottling Factory.

Anna, Kevin and Matt
in "Shakespeare Alphabet"

Clayon sings R&B in "Telethon"

In the spirit of the Olympic 2012 host country, London, England, the Bits offered the crowd a bit of old world theatre with “Shakespeare Alphabet”.  In this scene we see Kevin Killavey and Anna  Smith, joined by Matt, performing their thespian stylings .  In the end Anna displays her fencing prowess as she stabbed Matt with her épée protecting  the braless, Kevin.

Kevin croons jazz
in "Telethon"

Franks Raps for the cause
in "Telethon

Ending the first set on Saturday with “Telethon”, the Bit Players were high on their game. Hosted by Anna, the telethon about Fire Safety, like the Olympic torch, set the audience ablaze.  In this bit, the celebrity entertainers must sing in the song genres provided by the audience about the telethon's “cause”.  Kevin’s smooth jazz was noted as sparkly by host, Anna.  Clayon’s R&B stylings were introduced by Anna, who plugged Clayon's latest #1 hit tune, “Moving In Your Pants”.  Frank (aka Boss Son) was rolling with his rap with choruses of “Stop, Drop, and Roll”.  Rounding out the telethon was a duet by the 80’s group, “Princess” performed by Matt and Stephanie Conrad.

Matt and Stephanie
sing an 80's duet
in "Telethon

In the second set, for the pleasure of a large contingent in the back of the theater supporting two bachelorettes, Rebecca and Alicia to be wedded on August 2^nd, The Bit Players sang a “Serenade” .  Alicia a nurse, and Rebecca a surgical tech with Marion hospital were parodied in song.  Matt typified the well wishes to this couple (The Benedetti’s) on behalf of the Bits by saying “I hope that your wedding goes off without a snatch”…  Watch the video here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ_00yclC5A

Suri (Stephanie) is kidnapped
 by The Mormons (Anna, Clayon, and Frank)
as Katie watches in horror in Mini-Musical

Frank as L. Ron Hubbard's ghost
speaks to Tom (Matt) and Kevin (Katie)
in Mini-Musical

The Bit Players were on target as they hit the audience between the eyes with a “Mini-Musical” about the Book of Scientology.  Tom [Cruise]  (played by Matt) ,was depicted in this epic story.  Divorcing from Margaret(??) Tom finds himself alone.  Margaret (the re-baptized name of Katie Holmes played by Kevin) takes Suri (played by Stephanie) and heads off into the unknown.  Margaret exclaims, “Oh, No! It’s the Mormons!” as the Mormons (played by Anna, Frank, and Clayon)abduct Suri and take her away singing “Going to Utah”.  Margaret returns to Tom and tells him in song and dance about Suri’s abduction. Lamenting his losses, Tom exclaims that his life is in a shambles.  The couple is then visited by the ghost of L. Ron Hubbard who tells Tom he needs  to sign a new contract, to reunite with Margaret, AND come out [of the closet].  Tom confronts Margaret telling her that she fulfilled only a couple of his needs. Margaret croons that she would always love him and the two go off into the sunset. Watch the video here - > http://youtu.be/ZAaSv0Jklhs

Transcending reality and attaining Greek God-like status the Bit Players entertained their crowds with all the pageantry and regalia equal to that which the world is viewing across the pond, and hope that you too will be part of their next weekend of festivities.

 The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB