Walks so proper, talks with such class
But behind closed do’s she a nasty girl (yup)
Behind closed do’s she a nasty girl
A lady in the street but a freak in the bed
A lady in the street but a freak in the bed {Ludacris}
Compared to the civility of Friday… Well… the “ladies” in da house and their conduct on Saturday night would have made their momma’s cry and Ludacris blush. Whew-eee!! The Bit Players could hardly get a word in edgewise with the three Bachelorettes and their boisterous entourages. At the Firehouse we try to make everyone a special part of the show, and tonight was no exception. We especially want to recognize our friends with the Jack Wills Group, who have supported The Bit Players all summer. We bid our Britt friends a fond farewell as they leave us to go on to bigger and better things across the pond.
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| Clayon, Dylan, Frank, and Jim perform "Irish Drinking Song" in honor of Bachelorette #1, Alison |
The first of the bachelorettes to be recognized was Alison, a Project Coordinator for a Graphics design company. Alison is set to be married on September 8th to her high school sweetheart, Nick, a printer of utility belts. The Bit Players performed an “Irish Drinking Song” in their honor, and possibly what to expect (??) on their special day. Jim Foley provided the prose that their wedding cake had melted (ala McCarthur Park style) and turned to water, Clayon McFarlane added that the skies had gone gray (No, NOT as in 50 Shades of – Don’t think Alison needs any encouragement along THOSE lines). Frank Fusaro finished the couplet with his verse “Look on the bright side… at least she wasn’t late [as in EPT]…
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| The Bit Players accompanied by Devon Mello & Chase Ceglie perform "Doo Wop" song about a sewing machine |
Another musical number was soon to follow with a 50’s style “Doo Wop” song about a sewing machine. Jim, Clayon, and Frank were joined by Dylan Eberle in this number. Jim not only provided an amazing quip about his … “sewing machine was a winner”, and even though he was performing this song, it was his sewing machine “that said Singer”. Jim also sang his lament about the sewing machine in high falsetto after Frank chided his girlfriend, wishing he was shot after she had allowed the thread in the sewing machine to be tangled up in knots. Dylan finished the piece about his sewing machine that had gone away, and that he would miss it every day. Although it was a real tear jerker, as least he still had “Rosalita, his migrant sweatshop worker!”
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| Jim, Dylan, and Frank in "Epic Poem" for Bachelorette #2, Jenny |
In the second set of the night, Jenny, bachelorette #2, was celebrated in the way of an “Epic Poem” Jenny we learned, was a teacher who is due to be wed to her beau Chris, an online marketing guru. Jenny disclosed that when Chris proposed, he had been hiding in a closet, and then jumped out and gave Jenny her ring in bed. Jenny admitted that her secret desire as a young girl was to actually be a journalist. And so, the Bit Players (namely – Jim, Dylan, and Frank) gave Jenny her dream in an epic story entitled “The Day that Jenny Broke the News!” In this epic tale, Jenny worked for the NY Times, and eventually becomes Editor-in-Chief of the paper after she had a brief “encounter” with a local politician who helped her achieve success.
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| Clayon, Frank, and Dylan as eligible bachelors with Jim as the bachelorette, in "The Dating Game" hosted by John |
“The Dating Game” was next in the lineup. Our three Bit Player bachelors, played by Dylan, Frank, and Clayon were the selections available for our lovely bachelorette played by Jim. Joining in this fray was John Mulligan as the host of this version of the hit TV game show. In this version however, the panel of bachelors have a peculiarity supplied by the audience. In Dylan’s case, he was reliving the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Frank was stuck in the movie, “The Mighty Ducks”, and Clayon thought he was Mike Tyson. As John introduced Jim to his eligible bachelors, he joked that on “this show you win nothing (0); what tennis players call Love”… After the initial banter, Jim asked a series of questions to deduce each of the panel’s idiosyncrasies. Jim eliminated Dylan and Frank guessing their oddities, and finally chose love with Mike Tyson! May their love last forever!
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| The Bit Players perform a "Serenade" for Bachelorette #3, Susan |
The third and final Bachelorette, Susan, hailing from Waltham, MA, was brought to the stage to be “Serenaded” by the Bit Players. Susan, an Order Fulfillment Supervisor (Yes, Frank… There IS such a thing) is set to wed (on September 29th) her fiancé, Coleman, a Product Manager/Tester for non-destructive testing material (A what??? …Oh, don’t ask! We still don’t know!) The Bits improvised a song in honor of their upcoming nuptials, sung to the tune of the hit song “My Girl”.
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| The Bit Players in "Blues Song" |
The night of iniquity and immorality concluded with a “Blues Song”. The Jack Wills group was recognized and the group provided the bittersweet inspiration for the final song of the night. The Bit Players sang; “The Bit Player Blues”. In the song, Jim acknowledged that unlike the bachelorettes in the audience, the Jack Wills group would not be going back to Frank’s place. John conceded that although the audience may be pissed, the Bit Players were not narcissists, however they WERE the best looking people in town. Vlad admitted that he couldn’t rhyme, BUTT he could wiggle. Clayon acknowledged the elephant in the room in the fact that he was the only black man in the group, and he could “Take it to the head”(Yeah, this unhip white girl didn’t understand it either). Dylan, revealed that the musicians of the group, Chase and Devon, were eligible and could be taken on a date, but to be warned, for some (since they were still minors in HS) it could be statutory rape. Frank brought it all home by professing his love for the Jack Wills folks and that they knew how to scream and shout; but they also knew when to keep their mouths shut! …*oh. Snap!*
Hey, …Don’t forget to catch the Bit Players in their last summer Wednesday night show (8/29/12). This is improv comedy in the raw, where the Bits will try new things that may never again see the light of day OR it could be a “bit” at the start of a beautiful relationship in their repertoire.
The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840. Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows 401-849-FIRE (3473) And it is always BYOB!
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