Saturday, August 4th 2012

Samuel Ullman once wrote. “ Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years.  We grow old by deserting our ideals.  Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. 

Lobo and Matt left standing in "Story, Story Die!"
directed by Vlad

For one very special guest in our audience tonight, having a soul as firm and as smooth as a baby’s bottom, displayed her enthusiasm in droves.  Sitting in the front row, Theresa, celebrating her 89^th birthday, surrounded by family and friends, laughed at all of the antics of the Bit Players on the stage before her.

The Bit Players had a lot to live up to with Theresa and her family, and the capacity crowd on hand at the Firehouse Theater.  But the Bit Players rose to the occasion.  Beginning with a staple warm-up piece, “Story, Story, Die!” the players came out of the gate with guns a-blazing. This improv line bit played by the entire cast (Brittany Hunt, John Mulligan, Lobo Linhares, Matt Lindman, and Stephanie Conrad) is subject to the fickle finger of the host, Vlad Tenenbaum.  At any time Vlad may point to a player who must continue the story without hesitation all the while making sense within the context of the story.  If Vlad deems the player has not met the criteria (or if Vlad doesn’t like them), he may “kill them off by shouting “Die”. In this story about Brenda with her bowling ball in Russia, it came down to Lobo and Matt… With tension mounting, Vlad shouted “Die!”… Left standing victorious, it was Matt to conclude the story.

Audience member, Solon was the topic of a “Doo Run Song”.  This improvised song was performed by Matt, Brittany, and Stephanie.  The players sang about Solon’s welding expertise and his really nice “blow torch”.  A manly man, Solon must also be a proponent of healthy living as the Bits made reference to his very clean colon.

Brittany and
Stephanie in
"Stunt Doubles"

John and Vlad in "Stunt Doubles"

Brittany and Stephanie were the actors in a bit called “Stunt Doubles”.  In this bit whenever the actors do not want to perform a specific action, they call on their stunt doubles, played by John and Vlad, to execute  it for them… (but with a twist).  In this scene Stephanie and Brittany were on a hot air balloon trip.We first saw our actors getting into the balloon through the antics of John and Vlad, followed by the lighting of the flame, which ended with Brittany’s eyebrows being singed.  Lastly, as the balloon needed to land, the actors called for their stunt doubles.  John proceeded to throw Vlad out of the balloon’s basket.  We saw Vlad make a mighty effort to fly before falling to his death to end the scene.



Matt, with The Bit Players "Serenade" Theresa

 Now, it was time that the audience had been anticipating. The Bit Players recognized the Grande Dame and Matriarch of the evening, Theresa, in “Serenade” style.  Theresa, a former hairdresser, (of Dead People!?!?) hailing from Warwick, RI who raised nine children and had multitudes of grandchildren and great-grandchildren (some of them present to watch grandma’s special night), was the topic of this improvised song all about Theresa, to her delight and the delight of all present.
Share in the celebration with Theresa, watch the video here - > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0g87sJGIvsk&feature=plcp

Lobo sings to "Bartenders"
John and Stephanie

Matt in "Bartender" with John
and Stephanie

Stephanie sings advice
to Brittany in "Bartender"

Ending the first set with their signature bit, “Bartender”, the energy of the night continued to swell.  Manning the bar, Stephanie and John, whose job it was not only to satiate their patrons thirst, but to quench their patron’s need for advice, did so through improvised song.  Their patrons, Lobo, Brittany, and Matt were given unique problems for which they sought the advice of their barkeep, through a song of their own styling.   Lobo, given sexual harassment, sang about his sexually assertive boss causing distress in his life.  Lobo’s character named Harris, lamented about his boss’s objections to Harris’ mints.  John sang a bit of advice back to Lobo, suggesting he change to spearmint gum, and added that he and Lobo could be the Doublemint Twins.  Fellow bartender, Stephanie added to Lobo that John could also double his pleasure.  Brittany was up next with her problem of Cooties.  Stephanie assisted not only with advice but also with her skills as a medical assistant offering, “Circle, circle, dot, dot… now you have a Cooties shot!”.  Finally, Matt sidled to the bar with his problem of female pattern baldness.  In Matt’s song, he bemoaned that when being intimate with his wife, handfuls of her hair would come off in his hands.  Matt added that his wife was beginning to look like Vlad at which point Vlad, taking offense OR pleasure at the reference, ended the scene.

Brittany exclaims her love to Matt
in "Shakespeare Alphabet"



Redemption for Brittany over Matt
in "Shakespeare Alphabet"



In the second set, Matt and Brittany took the stage in “Shakespeare Alphabet”.  In this scene about love, death, and betrayal, set in modern day Detroit, we saw Matt and Brittany as fellow automobile workers.  Brittany’s love at first was unrequited, until Matt recognizes Brittany’s secret desire.  Matt exploits Brittany’s love and demands that she make for him the perfect vehicle.  Only then would Matt reciprocate his affections.  Brittany had the upper hand however, and created the car but in a final act of redemption for Matt’s exploitation of her feelings, Brittany runs over Matt with the car exclaiming, “Zeus is with me on this ride!”

Vlad, Brittany, and Stephanie
in "Epic Poem"

With the players flying through their sets, host Vlad added “Epic Poem” to the rotation.  In this bit, Vlad, Brittany, and Stephanie created an ode for a delighted audience member.  Carmen, an attorney, was the subject of this verse in epic style, as the players (and audience) fist-pumped their way through a story entitled, “The Day That Carmen Practiced Law”.  In this story however, criminals sought out Carmen to legally represent them, but not to win their cases, but have them incarcerated in all-female prisons.

If you are celebrating an event with your family or friends, and want them to be recognized in a unique way, consider commemorating the occasion with The Bit Players.  As with the case with those present tonight, it will be a night, for them and you, to remember!

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!