Wednesday, August 22nd 2012 (aka Baseball, Beverages, and Bit Players)

Yogi Berra was once quoted as saying, “If people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, how are we going to stop them?”  For Red Sox fans, this has meaning on multiple levels.  But why lament the Sox lackluster performance this season when you can get your baseball fix right here in Newport, at the Firehouse Theater with The Bit Players. 

Here’s Wednesday night’s starting lineup: Leading off and starting Pitcher, Frank Fusaro.  (Sorry, we’re going by National League rules; the pitcher bats. Deal with it!) At first base, Vlad Tenenbaum. Catching is Jim Foley (he’s the only one who can catch for Frank, - if you know what I mean).  Batting cleanup, and playing Second Base, Anna Smith. Rounding the horn, at Shortstop, John Mulligan.  And playing the hot corner, at Third Base, Clayon McFarlane.  Since several members of the audience hail from New York, the opponents for tonight’s matchup are the Yankees, and therefore we don’t need to field any outfielders!!!.

The Bit Players perform "Story, Story, Die"

Throwing out the first knuckeball of the night, the Bit Players told the tale of Tim Wakefield’s baseball in “Story, Story, Die!”  With the audience suggestions of a baseball and the location at  the mall, we meet Jeff (who happens to be the brother of Doug) Mirabelli. Jeff finds a deal on a ball that was thrown by Tim Wakefield.  Jeff knows that his brother is the only catcher who can catch for Wakefield and purchases the ball.  But not to give it to his brother.  Oh, NO!  Jeff plans to sell it on Ebay and makes lots of cash.  Until Doug find out and tries to trick Jeff into selling it to him.  Jeff eventually hides the ball in a tree in his backyard and sets traps for Doug.  Unlike in other shows, very few Bit Players were harmed in the telling of this tale.

Frank, John, and Clayon in "Good Cop / Bad Cop"

In the second inning, the Players went to South Boston in a bit called “Good Cop / Bad Cop”.  In this scene, with Frank and Clayon as the cops, and John as the perpetrator, John is coerced into confessing to the crime of killing Martha Stuart, with a flashlight, on a cloud.

Jim and Anna in "Shakespeare Alphabet"

Jim and Anna were up next in “Shakespeare Alphabet” in a scene where Jim and Anna must tell a story in the form of Shakespeare, but with a catch!  Their dialog must begin with the next consecutive letter in the alphabet.  In this scene, Jim is the King and is served by his loyal court jester, Anna.  Jim is bored by his royal life and offers Anna the crown to which she not only gladly accepts, Anna purports that she must have a royal bloodline of her own, as her genes were meant to rule!

After the 7^th inning stretch, (although Sweet Caroline wasn’t played), our musicians Devon Mello on keyboard and Dylan Eberle (Yes, I said fellow Bit, Dylan) on the Drum machine added their own mash-ups to other popular songs as the backdrop music of the night. 

The Ballson's are "Serenaded" by The Bit Players

Further down in the lineup, the Bit Players were searching for some new talent to join them on stage.  VERY newlywed couple, The Ballson’s, were selected to be the focus of a “Serenade” song performed by the players.  Monica, a bank teller, met her hubby Brian, a construction ironworker, both from New York.  The couple were married this past Sunday and are honeymooning throughout New England.  Watch the video to see The Bit Players compose a song in their honor -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAxYgSp-1Uw&feature=youtu.be

Clayon, Frank, and Jim in "Lines From A Hat"

When our crowds arrived at the Firehouse’s ballpark this evening they were asked to fill out bits of paper with their favorite line from a movie, song, or quote, which was to become inspiration and further dialog for our actors, Jim and Frank (with Clayon also joining them) in “Lines From A Hat”.  In this scene…. Wait for it….. wait for it…  Yes, about Ballplayers, we see Frank, Jim and Clayon in their own clubhouse section at the park reveling in the fact that they have the best of all worlds as pitchers as they are rarely called upon.  In their own exclusive club, they can drink and eat copious amounts of popcorn, where no girls, (not even Clayon’s mother) are allowed.

We hope you had your fill of baseball, beverages, and Bit Players on this fine Wednesday evening.  We always welcome our fans, with open arms, back to the glory of the game.

The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night (and Wednesday’s thoughout the summer) at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840.  Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows   401-849-FIRE (3473)  And it is always BYOB!