Robert Henri once pondered, “Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think.”
Newport is one of those places that is a hotbed for great philosophical thought and contemplations. And what better place than this city by the sea to witness a Bit Players show, where the Bit Players make you think about things that you didn’t even know you wanted to think about. It can be a place where one may have a truly moving experience. (Most likely moving in direction of the restroom – it is BYOB at the Firehouse Theater, after all). But I digress… Back doing what they do best, The Bit Players showed off their improv comedy skills with their Wednesday night lineup of absurdity.
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| The Birt Players perform "Story, Story, Die!" |
And, speaking of a moving experience, in the first bit of the performance, “Story, Story, Die!” we may all have felt a little itchy and squirmy through the telling of this story entitled “Kristen Doesn’t Look Before She Leaps”. In the story, we listened to the entire cast (Jim Foley, Sarah Shepherd, John Mulligan, Clayon McFarlane and Stephanie Conrad, directed by Vlad Tenebaum) collectively weave a tale about Kristen leaping over bees nests. We learned that the bees were lying in wait for Kristen and the bees wanted to seek out their revenge.
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| Jim and John, directed by Vlad in "Ding" |
The next bit of the night was, “Ding”. In it, we saw Jim and John take us back to the Roman era as doctors (in training?). The scene begins as the two discuss the effects of global warming. Fabius (played by Jim) remarked, “As leaders of the foremost empire on the planet, I feel impervious to it.” John however had a difference in opinion as he responded, “We are not impervious to everything… I have the worst case of the hemorrhoids!” Fabius countered they [the hemorrhoids] aren’t significantly hard to conquer, but significantly harder than Carthage. (the history nerds in the audience plus John and Jim, chuckled at that retort *ugh*). John soon lamented his lost pet dog and then added, “I’m talking about my mother, she was a bitch.” Fabius thought this comment a little off-putting as evidently his mother too was also John’s mother. John apologized, and blamed it on the wine that he had been drinking to numb the pain of the hemorrhoids. Fabius then acknowledge the random spear they were holding, to which John responded, “There is no time like the present to do surgery!” But as any good Roman, John declared that he needed more wine, and proceeded to insert an IV drip of wine directly into the veins of his forearm. Numbing more than his hemorrhoids, John exclaimed, “I see the collapse of the Roman Empire! I see hoards at the border!” Jim then inquired, “Do you see Caesar?” To which John replied, “Yes, and he’s dressed like a woman!”
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| John, Stephanie, and Jim in "Doo Run" Song |
A couple (John and Bobbie) celebrating their 2nd year Anniversary at the Firehouse theater were surprised with a “Doo Run” song the Bits composed on the spot, all about them. The Bit Players (Jim, John and Stephanie) sang about John’s work in building, and Bobbie’s career as an occupational therapist,… but… of course, with a Bit Player’s twist. Not only may Bobbie be getting a boat as an anniversary present from John, but he may also be building her a moat! (and since the 2nd Anniversary gift is traditionally a garnet, perhaps John, you may even put a nice velvet box with a garnet ring next to the helm of that boat …Just saying’...*wink/nod->Bobbie*
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| Jim and Clayon perform "Shakespeare Alphabet" |
In “Shakespeare Alphabet” Samuel (played by Jim) and Demetrius (played by Clayon) regaled us with an old world story about betrayal and disguise set in a Verizon store. Distressed about their poor cell phone coverage at their Burriville, RI Castle they sought their local Verizon Dealer Guy (played by John). Samuel attempts to negotiate with this genuine Verizon genius, asking him what must they do to get a little more service. The Verizon Guy instructs Samuel and Demetrius that if they want more bars on their cell phones, they must kill a man, because Verizon lives on blood and blood alone. Incredulous, Samuel beseeches the Verizon Guy, “Men’s death leads to more service?” In the end Samuel smites the Verizon guy, and with a rebel yell from Demetrius, more bars are achieved.
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| John and Jim in "Sounds Like A Song" |
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| John, Stephanie, and Jim in "Sounds Like A Song" |
“Sounds Like A Song” was probably the highlight bit of the night with Tommy (played by Jim) and Herbert (played by John), joined Debra (played by Stephanie), aka Tommy’s Mommy. The audience provided the location of LegoLand as the setting for this improvised song piece. In this scene, we see young Tommy sitting on the floor building things with his Legos. Herbert however has bigger fish to fry, imploring Tommy to use bigger blocks with which to build. “Ever seen a block the size of a dog?” Herbert solicits. “Not the sort of dog that sits on your mother’s lap and she pets it and then throws it in the garbage when she gets senile… No, “I’m talking a great FU@%ing Dane!” Tommy’s youthful outlook was evident in his reply, “Everyone knows, greatness starts small,” which led to the first song. Herbert bemoans his own life of privilege as we learn that was willed the vastness of LegoLand by old man, Grandpa Lego, Herbert Herbert Lego the 5th. Young Tommy was astounded! No, not at the vast fortunes of the Lego empire, but that four other people also had that name! Herbert asks Tommy to join forces with him to build and create. However, Tommy laments that he has this dame, at home (Mommy) who constantly impedes his creativity and ability to express his ideas. Debra enters and responds to Herbert’s exclamation of Tommy’s potential with “Does he look like he has potential?” leading to another song. Debra did not believe in her son and points out that he’s eating the Legos.. The three must then sing a song about eating the product. After eating the lead paint off of the Lego’s and hallucinating, Tommy climbs the Lego Tree plant. As Tommy climbs the Lego Tree, his mother finally sees Tommy’s potential and she and Herbert encourage Tommy to climb to its top and toward the sun! Words really cannot do this bit justice. Seeing IS believing. Watch the video and be AMAZED! Click here -> http://youtu.be/BNtZY-4JrmU
And as always, The Bit Players perform improv comedy every Friday and Saturday night at 8:00pm at the Firehouse Theatre, 4 Equality Park Place (off Broadway), Newport, RI 02840. Please call the box office for reservations and information about all of the shows 401-849-FIRE (3473) And it is always BYOB!
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